I feel sorry for my readers sometimes! Readers, I am going through a really rough time, but I hope you bear with me as my hope actually lies in my Lord, Jesus Christ, and He does not let His people down, nor does He let them be down for very long. So, again, bear with me as I go into "reflection" mode.
I've written about the desire to be on a team -- to be "One of the Three" as it were. But what about what happens when you are not chosen to be on a team? Let me tell you, there was not a high school tennis team in my area that would not have chosen me to be on their team. Let me also tell you, that in terms of any other sport, no one would have chosen me to be on their team.
I don't think I would have picked me for any other sport than tennis. I couldn’t hit a softball past the in-field. The volleyball hurt me, so I preferred not to hit it at all. If throwing 2-handed baskets was cool, I would have been considered quite cool. I swam like a turtle. And you know what? Though it was humiliating to be bad at sports, the only time it really, really hurt not to be picked for a team was when it was one of my friends that was doing the picking. Because for some reason, I think that the friendship is worth the risk of losing.
But what would hurt even more than that, would be a friend not picking me for a tennis team. After all, I know I am a decent player -- I was #1 in my district for at least a couple of years. It would not make sense for someone not to pick me for their team. And please note the word friend. It would not surprise me if someone who didn't like me didn't pick me for their team -- we tend to pick those we like -- makes sense most times. But if a friend didn't pick me, well, that would hurt.
At one time, I worked for a consulting firm in the Washington, D.C. area. I had recently been promoted to the position of Regional Business Manager, when my boss, the Regional Manager, decided to leave the firm. I had worked for him for 8 years or so, and so this was going to be a big change for me. My boss and I talked about who were good candidates for the position, and there was one that I really plugged for. He was good with clients; was exhuberant but sort of grandfatherly, too; he had garnered some respect among the consultants; he seemed like he would accept help in terms of the business side of things; he seemed to be fairly good with the accounting side of things -- turning in reimbursement requests, etc., on time; and he and I got along great. I mean really great. He was a deacon at his church and seemed like an awesome family man.
So, he became the Regional Manager. Shortly thereafter, I noticed that I was being left out of meetings, and that instead of utilizing me as the business manager, he was going to his boss's business manager for assistance instead. Now, I had received EXCELLENT reviews during my tenure at this position, and it was well known that I knew the ins and outs of the region. Our region had three offices with probably 130 - 150 staff. I had built good relationships with staff at all levels. Though I had been promoted through the ranks, from the clerical to the administrative to the managerial role, most of the peers I worked with had no resentment of that. Honestly, I fit the role.
But things continued to go south. I had been taught over the years to not assume responsibility unless it had been specifically given to me. In other words, not to overstep my bounds. This goes against my nature -- I like to see things done right and have a high regard for excellence, so if I am associated with a task, I take it personally. This is the area I received the most coaching in, and indeed sought out the coaching and advice. Anyway, not taking responsibility and not going out on a limb can be a very dangerous thing if your boss also does not want to take responsibility or go out on a limb or is less than confident in his/her own abilities. It soon became apparent that my boss had less than optimal skils in terms of business management, and that he was looking for someone else (i.e., me) to answer to his boss regarding business issues. If I made this too complex, note that this is commonly referred to as "passing the buck" or simply not taking responsibility. What he wanted me to do was to give my answers to his region's business issues to his boss (he did not want accountability), but at the same time not recognize my work. This was starting to be bad news.
Now, I was used to seeing and sometimes experiencing this kind of behavior unfortunately. Corporate America loves phrases like "Don't let it stick." But I was not used to being treated like this by someone I trusted and in fact, recommended and helped into the position. That hurt. Things got worse. One day he told me that my former boss "had never intended you [me] to be the Regional Business Manager." This was an out and out attack. What had I done to garner this? I could not understand it at all. I won’t bore you with the details, but though the lies were exposed, it did not positively impact the effect on me and my career in that firm.
Now, the single most hurtful thing was not any particular event in the whole story. The single most hurtful thing was that someone I had considered a friend would strike me. Honestly, I couldn't have done what this guy did to my worst enemy. And even worse in my view at the time was the fact that his boss, also a deacon at his own church, did not rectify the situation. I had done alot of good work for that guy over the years, and that he would allow someone to behave like that is still amazing to me. I was laid off by these two deacons. Over the next couple of years, they lost their positions with the firm.
I have tried to remain trusting in the workplace, though it can be quite challenging. I still get hurt when a friend doesn't choose me for their team, especially when I am good at the sport. But worst of all are those who have the authority, the right and the ability to do the right thing, but choose not to. A friend is worth the risk.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Slacking Off
Slacking off - that's been me in terms of blogging. There's so much to write about. The receiving of what I've called a miracle, though not everyone would agree with me. Disappointments. Answers to prayer. Loss of trust. Loss of friendships. New friendships. Aches & pains. Excitement. Fear. Resolve. Tiredness. Gladness. Sadness. Questions, questions, questions.
Wow! Just writing that makes the phrase "the cycle of life" come to mind. I've been trying to clean house a bit before getting back into the heavy grind, and have run across old sermon notes. I read a fill in the blank sentence from one today that basically says we will not let our circumstances overwhelm us. Hmmmmm......
There was a good post on Justin Majeau's blog today discussing women and leadership in the church and other organizations. I am reminded of a question posed to one of my uncles, who was a senior military man, now retired from the U.S. Coast Guard. I was visiting with him in 1997, and at the time there was a bit of a brew-ha-ha at one of the military schools or academies because of their policy to not allow women in their school. The school had resisted allowing women to the point where the issue was a matter for all media and was then put before the Supreme Court (if I remember correctly). I asked my Uncle for his perspective on the subject, and I will never forget his response:
"You can either do the right thing, or have someone make you to do the right thing. Which would you prefer?"
Wow! Just writing that makes the phrase "the cycle of life" come to mind. I've been trying to clean house a bit before getting back into the heavy grind, and have run across old sermon notes. I read a fill in the blank sentence from one today that basically says we will not let our circumstances overwhelm us. Hmmmmm......
There was a good post on Justin Majeau's blog today discussing women and leadership in the church and other organizations. I am reminded of a question posed to one of my uncles, who was a senior military man, now retired from the U.S. Coast Guard. I was visiting with him in 1997, and at the time there was a bit of a brew-ha-ha at one of the military schools or academies because of their policy to not allow women in their school. The school had resisted allowing women to the point where the issue was a matter for all media and was then put before the Supreme Court (if I remember correctly). I asked my Uncle for his perspective on the subject, and I will never forget his response:
"You can either do the right thing, or have someone make you to do the right thing. Which would you prefer?"
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Only One Way To Go
So, a few weeks ago, I visited Norm & Sophie -- friends of mine who I admire and love. They have both offered me encouragement by their very presence. And they both are examples of a grace and generosity of spirit that we don't experience as often today perhaps as we would have experienced years ago.
In discussing my situation of being in need of work and a work permit, Norm offered me the encouragement to be patient and not rush. And that a door would open, and that often only one door would open. Well, that is both good and bad to me.
It is easier often if just one door does open. When two open choice has to be exercised, and if the choice seems like a choice between "life" and "death", well, that presents a situation that can be quite difficult. Sometimes it is even more difficult is if both choices seem like excellent choices -- just two different paths to the same destination.
I am facing a choice - I ask that you pray for me to make the best choice.
In discussing my situation of being in need of work and a work permit, Norm offered me the encouragement to be patient and not rush. And that a door would open, and that often only one door would open. Well, that is both good and bad to me.
It is easier often if just one door does open. When two open choice has to be exercised, and if the choice seems like a choice between "life" and "death", well, that presents a situation that can be quite difficult. Sometimes it is even more difficult is if both choices seem like excellent choices -- just two different paths to the same destination.
I am facing a choice - I ask that you pray for me to make the best choice.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
The End? Or the Means?
“But if our unrighteousness brings out God's righteousness more clearly, what shall we say? That God is unjust in bringing his wrath on us? (I am using a human argument.) Certainly not! If that were so, how could God judge the world? Someone might argue, ‘If my falsehood enhances God's truthfulness and so increases his glory, why am I still condemned as a sinner?’ Why not say—as we are being slanderously reported as saying and as some claim that we say—‘Let us do evil that good may result’? Their condemnation is deserved.”
Romans 3:5-8, New International Version
The End? Or the Means?
It is fun to read the great philosophers. One of the questions of all time is “Does the end justify the means?” (Machiavellian philosophy.) In other words, if the end result of an action is good, does that justify the means of getting there, whether or not the means are good?
Sometimes this question is raised in some oh so subtle ways that are interesting to ponder from a Christian perspective. For instance, I have heard it preached that, say, if you do something good for someone or something, and you don’t get thanked, the discouragement you feel, or whatever bad feelings you feel, may give you a glimpse into Jesus’ heart. I actually buy into this.
Obviously, getting a glimpse into Jesus’ heart, or feeling something that He felt, even to a small degree is a good thing, right? I believe this to be true for sure. I can appreciate pain in that it brings me just a bit closer to Jesus and His walk on this earth. I have thanked Him for the glimpse.
However, what about the perspective from the other side? For instance if the person by who’s actions you suffered pain is the one who is justifying the end by the means, it is a bit harder to buy, isn’t it? If you have given your all to someone, and then they caused you pain, and then told you that that pain is a good thing because it brings you closer to Jesus – well, what is that all about? Likewise, if you harm someone through unrighteous behaviour, don't make reparation to them, but instead think that it is justifiable because it is for their own good, perhaps, or because they will learn from it, or it will in any way benefit them, then you have a problem. (By the way, I have done this very thing, so I am familiar with these issues, and indeed am really talking to myself through this devotional.)
Paul talks about this in the book of Romans. He seems to warn the Jews, who considered themselves teachers, preachers and lights to the spiritually blind, that unrighteous behaviour on their part, even if it brings out God’s righteousness more clearly in the people they are leading, preaching to, teaching, etc., will lead to condemnation. Can that be any clearer? A good end does not justify bad means.
I’m certainly not in a leadership position of influence at this point in my life, but if that ever comes about, I hope to remember Paul’s warning to the Jewish leaders, teachers and preachers of his day. I hope never to be a leader that would justify incorrect behaviour by encouraging the receiver of that behaviour to believe the pain I caused would bring them closer to Christ.
Romans 3:5-8, New International Version
The End? Or the Means?
It is fun to read the great philosophers. One of the questions of all time is “Does the end justify the means?” (Machiavellian philosophy.) In other words, if the end result of an action is good, does that justify the means of getting there, whether or not the means are good?
Sometimes this question is raised in some oh so subtle ways that are interesting to ponder from a Christian perspective. For instance, I have heard it preached that, say, if you do something good for someone or something, and you don’t get thanked, the discouragement you feel, or whatever bad feelings you feel, may give you a glimpse into Jesus’ heart. I actually buy into this.
Obviously, getting a glimpse into Jesus’ heart, or feeling something that He felt, even to a small degree is a good thing, right? I believe this to be true for sure. I can appreciate pain in that it brings me just a bit closer to Jesus and His walk on this earth. I have thanked Him for the glimpse.
However, what about the perspective from the other side? For instance if the person by who’s actions you suffered pain is the one who is justifying the end by the means, it is a bit harder to buy, isn’t it? If you have given your all to someone, and then they caused you pain, and then told you that that pain is a good thing because it brings you closer to Jesus – well, what is that all about? Likewise, if you harm someone through unrighteous behaviour, don't make reparation to them, but instead think that it is justifiable because it is for their own good, perhaps, or because they will learn from it, or it will in any way benefit them, then you have a problem. (By the way, I have done this very thing, so I am familiar with these issues, and indeed am really talking to myself through this devotional.)
Paul talks about this in the book of Romans. He seems to warn the Jews, who considered themselves teachers, preachers and lights to the spiritually blind, that unrighteous behaviour on their part, even if it brings out God’s righteousness more clearly in the people they are leading, preaching to, teaching, etc., will lead to condemnation. Can that be any clearer? A good end does not justify bad means.
I’m certainly not in a leadership position of influence at this point in my life, but if that ever comes about, I hope to remember Paul’s warning to the Jewish leaders, teachers and preachers of his day. I hope never to be a leader that would justify incorrect behaviour by encouraging the receiver of that behaviour to believe the pain I caused would bring them closer to Christ.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Harvest Moon
It is early October 2006. When it hasn’t been raining, we’ve been enjoying views of the beautiful Harvest Moon over the past few weeks. Low on the horizon, the Harvest Moon appears larger than an ordinary full moon. According to various sources, this is simply an illusion or an unsolved mystery.
What’s not a mystery, though, is how the Harvest Moon’s name came about. It is called a Harvest Moon because farmers in the north are able to extend their working days during the harvest season because the light of this moon is so bright. I can vouch for this – even last night at about 11:30, the sky was not completely dark.
Today is Canadian Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so many things. Mostly, though, I am thankful to Jesus Christ for sacrificing His life for mine. In hindsight, I recognize the times that He called me, and I am thankful for his grace, mercy and kindness as I rejected Him over and over again. It almost seems as if God sent me a Harvest Moon so that I might get some extra time to come to know Him.
My friends Chuck & Margaret Burns invited me to spend Thanksgiving at their home with their family. The food was fabulous – very moist turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, beet green rolls (like cabbage rolls), pierogies, pickles & cranberry sauce. Need I say more? Okay, then – also pecan pie, blueberry pie, pumpkin pie, apple crisp for dessert. Such a feast! I am thankful to have “broken bread” with these friends today.
I had the opportunity to share my testimony with the group that was there, and it was a relief to share it again. It has been a while. I am thankful indeed for a testimony to share that intrigues people and I pray that this testimony is used for God’s purposes and that the testimony lives on.
It used to be that if I did not tell this story for a couple of weeks, I would start to feel anxious. But it really has been a long while now, and I did not even realize how poorly not sharing my testimony has made me feel, until I shared it again tonight. It seems as if God has once again sent a Harvest Moon to provide more opportunities to share how Christ’s love has changed my life.
I am not a scholar of the Bible, but I have heard it speculated that we are in the end times. As we build buildings, revamp programs, upgrade technology, remodel, furnish, hire, etc., in our churches, I pray tonight that we consider the light of the Harvest Moon. Just as that light allows farmers to maximize their harvests, God may give us such a time to use us to maximize His harvest. I pray we use the time wisely.
What’s not a mystery, though, is how the Harvest Moon’s name came about. It is called a Harvest Moon because farmers in the north are able to extend their working days during the harvest season because the light of this moon is so bright. I can vouch for this – even last night at about 11:30, the sky was not completely dark.
Today is Canadian Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so many things. Mostly, though, I am thankful to Jesus Christ for sacrificing His life for mine. In hindsight, I recognize the times that He called me, and I am thankful for his grace, mercy and kindness as I rejected Him over and over again. It almost seems as if God sent me a Harvest Moon so that I might get some extra time to come to know Him.
My friends Chuck & Margaret Burns invited me to spend Thanksgiving at their home with their family. The food was fabulous – very moist turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, beet green rolls (like cabbage rolls), pierogies, pickles & cranberry sauce. Need I say more? Okay, then – also pecan pie, blueberry pie, pumpkin pie, apple crisp for dessert. Such a feast! I am thankful to have “broken bread” with these friends today.
I had the opportunity to share my testimony with the group that was there, and it was a relief to share it again. It has been a while. I am thankful indeed for a testimony to share that intrigues people and I pray that this testimony is used for God’s purposes and that the testimony lives on.
It used to be that if I did not tell this story for a couple of weeks, I would start to feel anxious. But it really has been a long while now, and I did not even realize how poorly not sharing my testimony has made me feel, until I shared it again tonight. It seems as if God has once again sent a Harvest Moon to provide more opportunities to share how Christ’s love has changed my life.
I am not a scholar of the Bible, but I have heard it speculated that we are in the end times. As we build buildings, revamp programs, upgrade technology, remodel, furnish, hire, etc., in our churches, I pray tonight that we consider the light of the Harvest Moon. Just as that light allows farmers to maximize their harvests, God may give us such a time to use us to maximize His harvest. I pray we use the time wisely.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Valemount
"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities -- his eternal power and divine nature -- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."
Romans 1:20
Well, I have now been further west than Jasper, Alberta. This past weekend, I went to Valemount, British Columbia. Oh why didn't I have a camera??? Honestly, Valemount is perhaps one of the most beautiful places I've been. It is a little community -- someone told me the population is about 1200 -- that is truly nestled in the mountains. It is truly interesting to be studying this passage in Romans at the same time as driving through God's beautiful creation.
A friend of mine has friends there -- Norm & Sybil Walker -- who pastor a church there. They are getting ready to leave that church and go on some missions work to the Phillipines, and then from there, who knows? Anyway, I had not experienced small town living in quite a while.
We arrived Saturday evening to the lovely smells of a potluck going away dinner. Let me tell you, these people know how to cook!!! I've not been to quite such a good one since my days of organizing them in Washington, D.C. Anyway, Norm & Sybil were honoured and a great time was had by all. I appreciated Pastor Norm talking about the many places he & Sybil have moved to and from, as well as being open about some of the struggles they had. It is so much more real to me when people share their hearts openly.
We stayed at the Holiday Inn there -- great place. The following day, we drove around Valemount a bit, then went to church. Norm preached a great sermon on the Holy Spirit being evident in us in so many ways. In particular, he taught us about the spiritual gifts. It was a communion service. I learned alot about the heart of a pastor on this trip. Norm has always worked a regular job and his pastoring has been above and beyond that. When people were honouring him, many spoke about how much they appreciated a pastor who works with his hands. I was impressed.
After the service, we chit-chatted in the lobby with some people. We met a lady named Anna, who is 87 years old, is German, and has lived here since after the 2nd World War. Oh, would I love the opportunity to talk with her for a while. She was in AMAZING shape, walking around easily with her tiny little frame.
We went to Terry & Sharon's house for lunch after the service. Floyd & Verlie Halcrow were there -- good friends of my friend Carla and wonderful people. And Pastor Norm & Sybil came, too. Terry lives on several acres just outside of Valemount. He build the house we went to from timber on the property -- it was a beautiful, beautiful log home. The upstairs is a big open area with windows looking out to the mountains. There is a bedroom, bath and sewing room, as well. Downstairs is a fully completed basement with a living area, 3 bedrooms and 1 or 2 bathrooms. It has a walkout, and is just stunning.
We had a great lunch of sausages, mini-shishkebobs, rolls, mustards, sauerkraut, beets, other veggies, delicious desserts -- I know I am forgetting something! Anyway, the meal was great. Terry & Sharon's daughter, Bethany took me outside to introduce me to their cat and then, her cow -- Lucy. What an awesome time of fresh air & fellowship. We hiked around the property a bit, saw cranberry patches, blueberry patches, and I got some fresh dill to take home.
And then, back to Edmonton. What a trip.
Romans 1:20
Well, I have now been further west than Jasper, Alberta. This past weekend, I went to Valemount, British Columbia. Oh why didn't I have a camera??? Honestly, Valemount is perhaps one of the most beautiful places I've been. It is a little community -- someone told me the population is about 1200 -- that is truly nestled in the mountains. It is truly interesting to be studying this passage in Romans at the same time as driving through God's beautiful creation.
A friend of mine has friends there -- Norm & Sybil Walker -- who pastor a church there. They are getting ready to leave that church and go on some missions work to the Phillipines, and then from there, who knows? Anyway, I had not experienced small town living in quite a while.
We arrived Saturday evening to the lovely smells of a potluck going away dinner. Let me tell you, these people know how to cook!!! I've not been to quite such a good one since my days of organizing them in Washington, D.C. Anyway, Norm & Sybil were honoured and a great time was had by all. I appreciated Pastor Norm talking about the many places he & Sybil have moved to and from, as well as being open about some of the struggles they had. It is so much more real to me when people share their hearts openly.
We stayed at the Holiday Inn there -- great place. The following day, we drove around Valemount a bit, then went to church. Norm preached a great sermon on the Holy Spirit being evident in us in so many ways. In particular, he taught us about the spiritual gifts. It was a communion service. I learned alot about the heart of a pastor on this trip. Norm has always worked a regular job and his pastoring has been above and beyond that. When people were honouring him, many spoke about how much they appreciated a pastor who works with his hands. I was impressed.
After the service, we chit-chatted in the lobby with some people. We met a lady named Anna, who is 87 years old, is German, and has lived here since after the 2nd World War. Oh, would I love the opportunity to talk with her for a while. She was in AMAZING shape, walking around easily with her tiny little frame.
We went to Terry & Sharon's house for lunch after the service. Floyd & Verlie Halcrow were there -- good friends of my friend Carla and wonderful people. And Pastor Norm & Sybil came, too. Terry lives on several acres just outside of Valemount. He build the house we went to from timber on the property -- it was a beautiful, beautiful log home. The upstairs is a big open area with windows looking out to the mountains. There is a bedroom, bath and sewing room, as well. Downstairs is a fully completed basement with a living area, 3 bedrooms and 1 or 2 bathrooms. It has a walkout, and is just stunning.
We had a great lunch of sausages, mini-shishkebobs, rolls, mustards, sauerkraut, beets, other veggies, delicious desserts -- I know I am forgetting something! Anyway, the meal was great. Terry & Sharon's daughter, Bethany took me outside to introduce me to their cat and then, her cow -- Lucy. What an awesome time of fresh air & fellowship. We hiked around the property a bit, saw cranberry patches, blueberry patches, and I got some fresh dill to take home.
And then, back to Edmonton. What a trip.
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