Garbage

Shamed, my heart hurts.
Why is it so hard?
Cleaning up old garbage
That should have been
Cleaned up long ago.
Too many things grabbing
focus, focus, focus.
No time to be found
For good reason -
Time must be made.
God makes the time to
Take garbage in and
Purify it.

I Miss You

I miss you.

I miss your clarity.
I miss your counsel.
I miss your wisdom.

I miss you.

I miss your candor.
I miss your wit.
I miss your perspective.

I miss you.

I miss your confidence.
I miss your goofiness.
I miss your joy.

I miss you.

I miss your fairness.
I miss your passion.
I miss your being.

I miss you.

Alas

Today my folks left. I did not anticipate that this would be an emotional event for me, but it was. And I have no idea why, really.

Friday, they took off by themselves for a bit, went to the public library and a museum. We met up around dinner time and went to Steve and Patty Hertzog's house for a barbecue with the Hertzog's, Patty's friends Judy and Sue from Montreal. I so enjoyed meeting these friends, and I know my parents had a good time as well.

Then, more friends from Montreal came in -- Diane and Carol -- and about 10 other people showed up, too (Kevin, Sharon -- I think -- their kids and their kids friends). Whew! A packed house! It was great! Like having ready-made family available.

The stories were great, the laughter, fellowship and dinner were great as well.

This morning, back on the north side, we woke up, got ready and headed out for breakfast at Sam's (97th Street and 137th Avenue). But before we left, we met a very nice, interesting and funny man, Art -- Erica's brother-in-law. We had a fabulous time chatting with him and then took off for breakfast. Breakfast was great. And then I was dropped off as my folks took off for the airport for their return flight.

Just as their flights out were chaotic, so were their flights back to Detroit. They were scheduled to get in around 11:00, and instead got in after 1:00 a.m. High winds and storms in Denver, as well as a major malfunction on one plane, lead to the delay. Further, they received none of their luggage on arrival!

Lord, I thank you for my parents safe flights out here a week ago, their safety in driving around this city of crazy driving, and their safe flights home. I thank you, Lord, for bringing them here this summer, for the good friends who treated them so well, for a roof to put over their heads, for new friends met. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to share a grace-filled church with my parents, even though they never actually made a service. I thank you for friends filled with love for you and their desire to share that love with others. I pray that the experiences my parents had in Edmonton impact their lives in a positive manner and that they return again for more. Thank you, Lord.

Scrabble and Golf

Not everyone would know that these two things are very complementary -- especially when we are talking about the card game of Golf!!

Tonight we played Scrabble and Golf -- me, Patty, and my folks, that is! But let me back up and recap this week with my folks.

Firstly, they were not able to come in on Saturday night as planned (flight delays in Detroit due to flooding. So, they arrived at about 5:00 p.m. on Sunday. This, after further delays in Chicago due to steering problems on the plane. As they were unpacking their luggage from the trunk of their rental car, they realized they had left some luggage on the conveyer belt at the airport. We called the airport, but they would not let us know if it was there or anything like that -- they insisted we must come to the airport. We decided to pick it up the following day on the way to the mountains.

In the meantime, we had a barbeque to get to on Sunday evening. My pastor and his wife -- Bob and Joce Jones, and some of my bible study group --Tim and Kathy Fowler, Cliff and Harriett Hastman, Steve Hertzog, Carla Hillestad, Jim and Joanne Lantz, Jim and Suzanne Stoddart, all convened at Randy and Arlene James' house for a great chicken barbeque dinner including . . . well, you guessed it -- barbequed chicken, many salads, a delightful rhubarb crisp, coffee and all accoutrements. The fellowship was phenomenal, my parents were welcomed to Edmonton, and I believe a good time was had by all.

We took off for the mountains the following morning, but first our stop at the airport for the left luggage. That took quite some time, but we finally headed south to Banff (we stayed in Canmore actually). After a good night's rest, we drove from Banff to Jasper, stopping at Lake Louise for pics and at Athabasca Falls for a hike and some pics. Our first stop was at Lake Louise, where we realized that Dad had left his glasses and jacket in Canmore, so we had to go back and retrieve those, but it was no big deal at all -- what better place to spend some extra time driving around???

So, then it was on to Athabasca -- just before we reached Athabasca Falls, I saw the mountain God used to call me. Somewhere around Wabosso (I think) or something like that.

Then we drove through Jasper and ended up at Pocahontas Cabins at about 8:30 p.m. Ate dinner and retired for a game of Scrabble about 10:00 p.m. It was a very, very restful night -- all that mountain air, you know! The next morning we got up, drove in to Jasper, had breakfast at a little cafe (it was a FABULOUS breakfast by the way) by the Shell station on the west side of town. Their cinnamon buns are out of this world for sure! Check them out.

So, we drove back to Edmonton and arrived about 3:00 or so. I went to Bible Study, my folks did some toodling about. We met up with some more people at the Oliver Square Tim Hortons -- met Wayne Graham, Rick and Laurie Harrison, Ron and Charlene Korzan, Rod and Brenda Peake, in addition to others they had already met on Sunday night. (By this time, little did they know, they met most of the Board of the church.)

Today, after catching breakfast at Sam's -- a restaurant highly recommended by Erica -- they went to Fort Edmonton for the day, then I cooked them a dinner of chicken, potatoes w/onion soup, brussell sprouts and cottage cheese.

Then, Patty Hertzog came over and played Scrabble and Golf with us. We had a fabulous evening of games, comparing weather notes, catching up, and just general fun.

So far, so good . . .

Thunderstorm

Oops -- can't update this now...

The Eagle Has Landed

I am sure they wish they were eagles! After finally getting out of rainy Detroit, after a delay of a plane that was due to "steering problems", after leaving a piece of luggage at Edmonton International, they arrived.

My bible study had a barbeque tonight and my folks loved every minute of it. I don't know what they thought a group of Christians would be like, but I imagine they were surprised.

They are all tucked into bed now and we head for the mountains tomorrow.

Sunday

Wow. It seems like a long time since I posted to this blog!

My folks just landed at Edmonton International Airport and called me from the rental car company. They are on their way to my house. They were supposed to come in yesterday, which I was really looking forward to, but with torrential, record-breaking rains in Detroit, the flight was not viable. So, they are here today.

I am praying that this week is a very good week for all of us; that they see the something special in my church family that I see. That they feel embraced and welcomed here. That they get some relaxation and feel the awesomeness of the mountains early in the week.

Pastor Bob gave an awesome sermon today -- he is on his game for sure. He spoke of Lori Lorence, who is just an awesome testimony of the the love of Jesus Christ. If you care to check it out, you may at:

http://www.centraltab.ab.ca/sermons/index.htm

Just choose whichever media you have available (WindowsMedia or RealPlayer) for the 07/17/2005 sermon. You won't regret it.

We are heading off for Banff tomorrow morning and won't be back until Wednesday evening sometime, after also visiting Jasper. It will be a great time for sure and I look forward to spending this time with my parents.

Madison

I met a young girl tonight -- her name is Madison. I would guess she is maybe 5 or 6 years old, and she is as cute as a button! Cuter, actually. . .

This meeting came about during a walk with my favorite golden retriever -- Silver -- and Joce (her owner). Joce hurt her back, so I am having fun walking Silver with Joce. We were walking along short cement winding path into a park, when a little girl came around the bend and walked toward us. We asked her if she would like to pet the dog. So, she did and we told her the dog was named Silver. She said "Silver" with a cute, slight, little lisp. I expected to see a parent come around the bend at any moment while she pet Silver, but none did. Madison walked off in the direction from which we had come, and we continued on. But I had a feeling we should get her and bring her back to the park up ahead of us, where other children were playing. Then a man called out a name -- I thought he said Jessica or something, but Joce heard it correctly. So, we turned around to retrieve Madison. She was nearly out of sight walking down a neighborhood street, but she stopped when we called.

Madison said her father was not at the park, but we managed to convince her to race Silver to the park and then convinced her to take us to her house. She really liked Silver and she was eager to show us where she lived. So we followed Madison through an alley between apartment buildings and as we emerged from the alley, two older women relaxing in the evening heat recognized Madison and told her that her dad had been looking for her. Her mom was walking down the street in the opposite direction, but came back when she was called out to.

As we met up with her mom, my heart sank in my chest. This young mom was sooooo skinny -- I would estimate she was 5'8" and maybe weighed 100 - 110 pounds. Maybe. Her legs were tiny and her skin appeared sunken around her shoulder blades. Her face was gaunt, but pretty nonetheless. Her hair was thin and wispy as hair of the undernourished often appears.

There are three types of people I have seen that resemble Madison's mom -- (1) the very, very ill, (2) the anorexic, and (3) the anorexic with drugs and/or alcohol issues. I wondered which of the three Madison't mom was coping with. We talked and she pet Silver. Everybody loves Silver. The neighborhood right there in this apartment complex appeared a little "rough around the edges" compared to the typical St. Albert streets. I wondered about Madison's everyday experiences there.

Our reading today was Psalms 1-3, and Acts 17

"I lay down and slept.
I woke up in safety,
for the Lord was watching over me."
Psalm 3:5

Tonight I pray for Madison and her mom. I pray that Madison is watched over and protected in all her everyday experiences, including her playing in the park. I pray that the Lord reaches out and grabs Madison's heart. I pray that if anyone remembers the day we brought Madison home, that is seen as the Lord watching over Madison. I pray that their family, if they don't currently attend a church, become aware of a new church going up just a tad south, and check it out! I pray that Madison's mom is okay and able to take care of Madison. Thank you Jesus.

Job, In the End

"I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I tkae back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance."
Job 42:5-6 (NLT)

The book of Job, in the end, has a message for me.

Maligne

Oh, my first taste of freedom was right here! How I long to recover that sense of freedom again. Today, I was reminded of the importance of pursuing that freedom. We all need it in our lives. There are so many things that just bind us up in a wad -- I ran down this path, and let me tell you, the dropoff is far steeper than it looks here. But I had a sense of freedom that has yet to be surpassed.

Tuesday

I was going to title this little entry "Terrible Tuesday", but I thought that was just too ridiculous, self-wallowing and pathetic. I seemed to manage to convey that sentiment anyway, though, right? :)

You know, I just don't get it sometimes. Why do I do the things I do?

I don't find Christianity complicated really, at all. It is really pretty simple. You make a decision to turn your problems, your troubles, your worries, your fears, your concerns, etc., right over to Jesus -- say "I'm tired of trying to handle this stuff all on my own -- I need your help." That's it.

From there, He starts working on your problems, troubles, worries, fears, concerns, etc. He sends help in all different ways and begins to transform your life. It is not scary or threatening at all -- check out Jesus in the gospels -- He would actually have been great to be with. The transformation simply brings you closer to Him. He gives you a heart for other people -- if you are like me, you might be seeing people with a somewhat jaded eye - He helps clear your vision and see people in a true light. He gives you a heart for whatever and wherever you are. And, he lets you know how much you are loved. In many different ways.

How does He do it? His Word -- just read a bit each day and refresh your mind and heart with the principles within the Bible. You don't have to have someone interpret it for you -- it is all pretty clear and I believe pretty simple, too. If it seems complex, you might just try asking God for a bit of clarity, and it all seems to become clear as you read - remarkable really. And even then, if it still seems a bit much to understand, start writing about what you read -- it really is amazing what comes through when you write.

Like this little entry. It started out with a slant towards "Terrible Tuesday" and ended up being a refreshing reminder to me of what I need to do when I don't understand why I do the things I do. Time to turn it all over to one who cares and who will help me figure it all out.

Maybe you are not much of a writer - well, let me tell you, the spoken word often works better anyway. He loves a good talk -- seriously, He does. I didn't believe it myself until I did it.

Back to the basics.

Sunday at Central

Well, we had a great sermon at Central today -- Pastor Bob kicked off his summer series called "Honouring God". All of his points were good, but one principle stuck with me -- "Give God the best of you or something or someone else will GET the best of you."

That really spoke to me today. I am sure I am not giving God the best of me -- if so, that is pathetic. It is so very easy to let difficult circumstances or negative people just suck the best right out of you, isn't it? Or at the very least take your focus away, however briefly or for however long! And there is difficulty in discerning when it is best to "not turn the other cheek", isn't it? I don't know -- sometimes, I wonder.

Today, though, I quit wondering for a bit, and just plain out prayed that God would help me give Him my best. That is all I want to do and frankly, I'm having trouble figuring out how to do it. He has to step in -- I KNOW he answers prayer, so I will be interested to see how he works with this one.

I feel very guilty right now for a number of things that I am trying to figure out how to deal with, including letting some situations and people suck the life out of me. It HAS to happen. I can't just keep existing and not progressing. Good grief!

I remember as a kid in Vermont, doing a little fishing for rainbow trout with my dad. And I remember for some reason being prone to catching mudsuckers -- the bane of my young fishing life. That's what we called them anyways -- you know, the fish that are just bottom dwellers. I remember feeling disgusted every time I caught one of them -- it felt more like they were catching me all the time! I had a plethora of mudsuckers in my life. Wastes of time, gotta throw them back since they were inedible anyways, good for nothing -- Mudsuckers.

But today, as well, I am grateful. As I sang and as I prayed to God today, I considered my salvation as provided by Jesus. I thought of the woman who through heavy crowds managed to touch Jesus's robe and was healed. And I thought of how lucky I am that Jesus allowed me to touch just a little piece of his robe as well. Surely that is more than enough for me to keep the mudsuckers at bay and give him beautiful, fresh rainbow trout instead.

Farmer's Market

Today was the first day of the St. Albert's Farmer's Market in downtown St. Albert. I got out of bed at 10:17 a.m. -- how ridiculous is that!? Not so ridiculous if you realize, I usually get to bed about 2 a.m. (got to work on that for sure, but I love quiet time for writing).

Anyway, I walked with Bob and Joce to the Farmer's Market around noon, and we spent a good couple of hours browsing among the vendor's wares and making some purchases, too. I was on a budget and did not make (in my view) too many purchases. But, my first extravagance was a Sun-dried Tomato Pesto to make for dinner for the three of us. Next, was half a bag of carrots (split with Joce). Then, a large jar of Honey Garlic Mustard (divine). I could not resist a container of olives (California style -- stuffed with an almond and some sun-dried tomatoe mixture) as an appetizer for dinner. And finally, a cucumber.

I was treated to lunch -- my first peameal bacon sandwich. I'd never heard of it before -- it was delicious. I dressed it with relish, hot peppers, and chili sauce, and quite enjoyed myself.

Then a hike (much longer) to get home, a long nap on Joce's couch, and then it was time to make the dinner. We had a great dinner, and then in honor of Canada Day, I was quizzed on Canadian facts -- I failed dismally, which is not all that surprising. We Americans know very little about our friends in the north, though they know alot about us. I certainly did not know we invaded Canada at one point in time.

Anyway, a little TV viewing of Live Aid, and it was time to call it a night. I still marvel that I walked home after 10:00 p.m. and it was daylight here. In fact, there was a beautiful sunset going on in the sky -- a sky full of purples, reds and blues and everything in between. Lovely.

A great Saturday for sure.

Job 22-24 and Acts 11 were the reading for the day. As we spent some time today watching Live Aid, watching stars, some of which have lead very "ungodly" lives in a public fashion, it is easy to understand Job's questions regarding punishment for the wicked. Job was righteous according to the bible. These are fair questions coming from Job. The danger, for me, is in thinking I can relate to Job in this way!

I thank God for his mercy and forgiveness and patience with me, because if he punished me for my wickedness, I'd have been long ago condemned and not able to write this out tonight. I am not Job.

Thank you, Lord.

Canada Day

Hmmmm.....this was my first Canada Day in Canada and I spent it in a most unremarkable way. I spent the day alone and was happy to do so, at least for most of the day.

I did my reading early on. Then I did quite a bit of research on the web in terms of how to protect a church website from spambots and robots. Tricky business. The pervasiveness of garbage all over the web and the insidious ways that these robots just keep slamming you with their garbage is disturbing.

Anyway, the rest of the day was spent communing with the Lord and napping -- some people would think I wasted a day. I would argue it was perhaps one of my most productive days.