"Teach us to make the most of our time,
so that we may grow in wisdom."
Psalm 90:12
God, what does "make the most" mean? I can think of lots of synonyms, both words and expressions. "Optimalize" our time. "Capitalize" our time -- though not quite as accurate. "Fill up" our time. "Seek the greatest return on investment" of our time. All very interesting to me, Lord, but what about my time specifically? What would you have me do that makes the most of my time so that I may grow in wisdom?
You are the Almighty.
You have the plan.
You love me more than I love myself.
You see my strengths and my weaknesses.
You know me inside and out.
You are the holder of all wisdom.
You are my maker, my creator, my God.
You breathe, and the wind follows your command.
The leaves on the trees respond with praises.
The grass bows to your will.
The waves on the sea line up to attend you.
The strongest, most resilient fortress can not sustain
your softest breath.
Breathe on me, O Lord.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Musings in 2 Kings and then 1 Kings
So, my reading today was 2 Kings 21-25. Reading about the lives of the Kings of Israel and Judah is so very interesting to me. Studying leaders, their styles, their character, their flaws, their excellence, really floats my boat. The actions of leaders determine many of the circumstances for the rest of us.
Anyway, today's inspiration is Josiah. One of the seemingly few really good ones. A man of swift, sure action. As SOON as he discovered his kingdom had not been following God, he took action to rectify the situation. He did not wait a day, a week, a month. He didn't try to overanalyze the situation. He took action. Repented right away and began making restitution so to speak to the Lord. I love people of action like that and want to be with them.
As Josiah was tearing down altars and pagan shrines, he ran across some graves. One in particular was the grave of a man of God who had long ago predicted Josiah's actions in the area. So, Josiah left that grave alone.
I looked up that reference to the man of God who spoke to King Jeroboam. In my reading then in 1 Kings, I ran across this little tidbit for today. Jeroboam was very, very evil. God spared none of the rod in his punishment. At one point, Jeroboam's son was very ill and Jeroboam sent his wife to a prophet to see if the child would live. God spoke through the prophet Ahijah: "Go on home, and when you enter the city, the child will die. All Israel will mourn for him and bury him. He is the only member of your family who will have a proper burial, for this child is the only good thing that the Lord, the God of Israel, sees in the entire family of Jeroboam."
I guess what is interesting to me is the value we put on life here on this earth, and the constant reminder in the bible of how little that value is. God declared that the child was the ONLY good thing in the entire family. And yet, God allowed the child to die. I would venture a guess that if you or I knew a family down the street, say a large drug-selling, drug-taking, law-breaking family, and we knew there was one child in that family that was good, we would seek to have that child live and the rest die, so to speak. Am I wrong? Honestly, we would send in troopers to rescue that child, notwithstanding casualties among the rest.
God, on the other hand, sometimes appears to rescue the child by having him/her live in HIS world, and the rest he leaves to suffer here in THIS world. I am reminded again, that death on this earth -- death of dreams, death of plans, death of jobs, death of families, death of anything -- is not the end. Death on this earth is just the beginning.
Anyway, today's inspiration is Josiah. One of the seemingly few really good ones. A man of swift, sure action. As SOON as he discovered his kingdom had not been following God, he took action to rectify the situation. He did not wait a day, a week, a month. He didn't try to overanalyze the situation. He took action. Repented right away and began making restitution so to speak to the Lord. I love people of action like that and want to be with them.
As Josiah was tearing down altars and pagan shrines, he ran across some graves. One in particular was the grave of a man of God who had long ago predicted Josiah's actions in the area. So, Josiah left that grave alone.
I looked up that reference to the man of God who spoke to King Jeroboam. In my reading then in 1 Kings, I ran across this little tidbit for today. Jeroboam was very, very evil. God spared none of the rod in his punishment. At one point, Jeroboam's son was very ill and Jeroboam sent his wife to a prophet to see if the child would live. God spoke through the prophet Ahijah: "Go on home, and when you enter the city, the child will die. All Israel will mourn for him and bury him. He is the only member of your family who will have a proper burial, for this child is the only good thing that the Lord, the God of Israel, sees in the entire family of Jeroboam."
I guess what is interesting to me is the value we put on life here on this earth, and the constant reminder in the bible of how little that value is. God declared that the child was the ONLY good thing in the entire family. And yet, God allowed the child to die. I would venture a guess that if you or I knew a family down the street, say a large drug-selling, drug-taking, law-breaking family, and we knew there was one child in that family that was good, we would seek to have that child live and the rest die, so to speak. Am I wrong? Honestly, we would send in troopers to rescue that child, notwithstanding casualties among the rest.
God, on the other hand, sometimes appears to rescue the child by having him/her live in HIS world, and the rest he leaves to suffer here in THIS world. I am reminded again, that death on this earth -- death of dreams, death of plans, death of jobs, death of families, death of anything -- is not the end. Death on this earth is just the beginning.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Tum Tatty Tum!
'Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven." '
Matthew 18:2-3
Tum Tatty Tum!
Now, that title makes absolutely no sense at all . . . unless your name is Kathy and you are looking into the earnest big blue eyes of a little two and a half year old girl named Ava who is tugging your hand and trying to lead you somewhere.
Ava is very special to me. She was the first little baby I got to know when I moved to Edmonton two years ago. Jaycee, Ava's mom, and I were both participating in promoting the move to our new church -- now North Pointe -- and I offered to watch Ava while Jaycee was being filmed. Oh, that little Ava was a charmer. She was quite attentive at that time and her eyes saw everything I did -- in her eyes, you could see information was being processed. We sat in the hall, and Pastor Bob came down for a visit, too. Her eyes followed him everywhere from then on!
Anyway, I talked with Jaycee just a little and then we parted ways. That weekend, I went to the St. Albert Farmer's Market with my friend Patti. As we were strolling around looking at specialty foods, fragrant soaps, pottery, etc., I noticed a cute little rubber ducky and could not resist purchasing it for Ava. I gave it to Jaycee in church on Sunday. Shortly after that, Jaycee and I were at a Women's Ministry event and Jaycee told me that her little boy had received the gift of a rubber ducky when he was a baby, too. Lori Lorence had given him that gift, and though I never met her, Lori played a huge role in my becoming a Christian three years ago. When Jaycee told me about the rubber ducky, it seemed as if God was letting me know I was walking on His path still.
So, I have felt a bond with Ava since the day I met her. That the feeling has been mutual on Ava's part has not always been clear. In fact, in the last two years, I believe there were three days that Ava actuallly seemed to like me. Typically, when our paths meet and I call out a "Hi, Ava!", a big "No!" comes back along with an attempt to hide behind her mother. If I persist, the blunt "No!" turns into a wailed "Noooooooooo!" so I have learned not to persist. (Wait a minute, shouldn't the kids learn from the adults?)
But on those three days that Ava liked me, I felt like a Queen. Like I could write the book on "Winning Ways With Children." Like I had learned the combination to a highly coveted club or something. You know what I mean, right? I would live in that bubble until the following Sunday when I would hear "No!" again. Don't misunderstand me, I knew that Ava was not actually rejecting me with her "No!" and I never took it personally. But those days when there seemed to be acceptance were just very special!
I'm housesitting for Jaycee and Derek for the next couple of weeks, so I went over for dinner last night to get the "low down" on my temporary abode. I wondered how Ava would react to me in her own house. After knocking on the door, Jaycee letting me in, and the dog Griffin greeting me, I turned and said hello to Ava. She grinned her impish little grin and showed me a couple of her toys. After that, Jaycee began showing me around. Ava wanted to show me more toys, though, and came and tugged on me. "Tum Tatty Tum."
We continued our tour of the house, and then it was time for dinner. A wonderful spaghetti, meat sauce, garlic bread and delicious salad dinner was served. I recall Ava trying to fit fistfuls of cut up spaghetti in her mouth as fast as she could, and she ended up being the first to be done. She got out of her chair and Jaycee washed her hands. Ava came over to implore me with her big eyes and little voice again..."Tum Tatty Tum." I heard that several times as I finished my meal as quickly as I could so I could experience whatever little treat Ava had in store for me next. "Tum Tatty Tum."
She grabbed me by the hand and led me upstairs once again to her room. She wanted me to read her "Pooh Bear" calendar to her, so I did. She showed me her baby and her baby's brush, more toys, and books, too. Jaycee was hosting an Epicure Spice party, and people began arriving. I headed downstairs to join them, but halfway down the stairs, I heard a protesting little voice -- "Tum Tatty Tum."
I continued downstairs and joined the party. What a great time -- we tasted a variety of dips and spices and chocolate. Throughout the evening, Ava would look at me from across the room, or come stand by me, or even sit on my lap and sample chips and dips. She would look at me with those beseeching blue eyes -- "Tum Tatty Tum."
All in all, it was a great evening. Looking back on it now, I realize how truly fortunate I am to be a part of a group of people that includes families like Jaycee, Derek, Ava and Zach. And as I remember Ava's pretty blue eyes pleading with me, I once again hear God's voice in my ear . . . "Come, Kathy, Come."
Matthew 18:2-3
Tum Tatty Tum!
Now, that title makes absolutely no sense at all . . . unless your name is Kathy and you are looking into the earnest big blue eyes of a little two and a half year old girl named Ava who is tugging your hand and trying to lead you somewhere.
Ava is very special to me. She was the first little baby I got to know when I moved to Edmonton two years ago. Jaycee, Ava's mom, and I were both participating in promoting the move to our new church -- now North Pointe -- and I offered to watch Ava while Jaycee was being filmed. Oh, that little Ava was a charmer. She was quite attentive at that time and her eyes saw everything I did -- in her eyes, you could see information was being processed. We sat in the hall, and Pastor Bob came down for a visit, too. Her eyes followed him everywhere from then on!
Anyway, I talked with Jaycee just a little and then we parted ways. That weekend, I went to the St. Albert Farmer's Market with my friend Patti. As we were strolling around looking at specialty foods, fragrant soaps, pottery, etc., I noticed a cute little rubber ducky and could not resist purchasing it for Ava. I gave it to Jaycee in church on Sunday. Shortly after that, Jaycee and I were at a Women's Ministry event and Jaycee told me that her little boy had received the gift of a rubber ducky when he was a baby, too. Lori Lorence had given him that gift, and though I never met her, Lori played a huge role in my becoming a Christian three years ago. When Jaycee told me about the rubber ducky, it seemed as if God was letting me know I was walking on His path still.
So, I have felt a bond with Ava since the day I met her. That the feeling has been mutual on Ava's part has not always been clear. In fact, in the last two years, I believe there were three days that Ava actuallly seemed to like me. Typically, when our paths meet and I call out a "Hi, Ava!", a big "No!" comes back along with an attempt to hide behind her mother. If I persist, the blunt "No!" turns into a wailed "Noooooooooo!" so I have learned not to persist. (Wait a minute, shouldn't the kids learn from the adults?)
But on those three days that Ava liked me, I felt like a Queen. Like I could write the book on "Winning Ways With Children." Like I had learned the combination to a highly coveted club or something. You know what I mean, right? I would live in that bubble until the following Sunday when I would hear "No!" again. Don't misunderstand me, I knew that Ava was not actually rejecting me with her "No!" and I never took it personally. But those days when there seemed to be acceptance were just very special!
I'm housesitting for Jaycee and Derek for the next couple of weeks, so I went over for dinner last night to get the "low down" on my temporary abode. I wondered how Ava would react to me in her own house. After knocking on the door, Jaycee letting me in, and the dog Griffin greeting me, I turned and said hello to Ava. She grinned her impish little grin and showed me a couple of her toys. After that, Jaycee began showing me around. Ava wanted to show me more toys, though, and came and tugged on me. "Tum Tatty Tum."
We continued our tour of the house, and then it was time for dinner. A wonderful spaghetti, meat sauce, garlic bread and delicious salad dinner was served. I recall Ava trying to fit fistfuls of cut up spaghetti in her mouth as fast as she could, and she ended up being the first to be done. She got out of her chair and Jaycee washed her hands. Ava came over to implore me with her big eyes and little voice again..."Tum Tatty Tum." I heard that several times as I finished my meal as quickly as I could so I could experience whatever little treat Ava had in store for me next. "Tum Tatty Tum."
She grabbed me by the hand and led me upstairs once again to her room. She wanted me to read her "Pooh Bear" calendar to her, so I did. She showed me her baby and her baby's brush, more toys, and books, too. Jaycee was hosting an Epicure Spice party, and people began arriving. I headed downstairs to join them, but halfway down the stairs, I heard a protesting little voice -- "Tum Tatty Tum."
I continued downstairs and joined the party. What a great time -- we tasted a variety of dips and spices and chocolate. Throughout the evening, Ava would look at me from across the room, or come stand by me, or even sit on my lap and sample chips and dips. She would look at me with those beseeching blue eyes -- "Tum Tatty Tum."
All in all, it was a great evening. Looking back on it now, I realize how truly fortunate I am to be a part of a group of people that includes families like Jaycee, Derek, Ava and Zach. And as I remember Ava's pretty blue eyes pleading with me, I once again hear God's voice in my ear . . . "Come, Kathy, Come."
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Trust
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy." Proverbs 13:12
Oh Lord, I ask you hear my prayer to you tonight.
I thank you for your mercy and grace in my life.
I am quite certain that without it,
I would not be here today.
Your providence is evident in so many ways.
You have spoken to me about your love for me, Lord.
You will not leave me nor forsake me.
You will not abandon me when the going gets tough.
The going is getting tough, Lord.
The trust is gone - there is no one left but you.
Only you can restore this heart of mine.
I am bereft and without hope
Seeking you in the valley of the death of my dreams.
Every beat of my heart hurts worse than the last,
Each breath taken is an attempt to ease pain.
God, how can there be so many tears inside one person?
What eyes deserve to shed them in the presence of one who shed his life?
And yet, they flow freely still.
I seek to be strong like you in the face of adversity,
But as a ship struck in the night by a torpedo,
I sink to the bottom of the ocean,
Lifeless and lost in a sea of activity.
Lord, will you not step in?
Will you not require some measure of fairness for
and from your servants?
I cry out for you.
Oh Lord, I ask you hear my prayer to you tonight.
I thank you for your mercy and grace in my life.
I am quite certain that without it,
I would not be here today.
Your providence is evident in so many ways.
You have spoken to me about your love for me, Lord.
You will not leave me nor forsake me.
You will not abandon me when the going gets tough.
The going is getting tough, Lord.
The trust is gone - there is no one left but you.
Only you can restore this heart of mine.
I am bereft and without hope
Seeking you in the valley of the death of my dreams.
Every beat of my heart hurts worse than the last,
Each breath taken is an attempt to ease pain.
God, how can there be so many tears inside one person?
What eyes deserve to shed them in the presence of one who shed his life?
And yet, they flow freely still.
I seek to be strong like you in the face of adversity,
But as a ship struck in the night by a torpedo,
I sink to the bottom of the ocean,
Lifeless and lost in a sea of activity.
Lord, will you not step in?
Will you not require some measure of fairness for
and from your servants?
I cry out for you.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
My Friend
Dear God --
Tonight I pray for my friend, Kim.
She is a young 31, slim, gorgeous Italian woman.
She would like to be married, have kids, etc., just like
most of would. But things have not yet worked out that way.
Lord, I'm not sure why this happens to some of us and not to others.
But tonight I pray for Kim and her situation.
First, I thank you, God, for Kim being a part of my life and a huge inspiration to me.
I thank you that in times when I've been down and out, Kim has been there to pull me
out of the doldrums.
I thank you for having Kim pray for me for a year to come to know you, and that
you listened and answered those prayers.
I pray, Lord, that you now hear the desires of her heart and answer them.
I pray that you let her know in a tangible, obvious way that you love her and
won't leave her to struggle with this alone.
I pray that when she does feel down and out, that you give her a boost through me
or someone else so that she knows she doesn't struggle alone.
I pray that Kim looks to you to answer this need in her life -- Lord, it is hard to go
through this life alone!!!
Lord, give Kim peace of mind that you are working on this as we pray and indeed
you have a plan to answer these prayers.
I look forward, Lord, to seeing how you are going to work this out in Kim's life.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Tonight I pray for my friend, Kim.
She is a young 31, slim, gorgeous Italian woman.
She would like to be married, have kids, etc., just like
most of would. But things have not yet worked out that way.
Lord, I'm not sure why this happens to some of us and not to others.
But tonight I pray for Kim and her situation.
First, I thank you, God, for Kim being a part of my life and a huge inspiration to me.
I thank you that in times when I've been down and out, Kim has been there to pull me
out of the doldrums.
I thank you for having Kim pray for me for a year to come to know you, and that
you listened and answered those prayers.
I pray, Lord, that you now hear the desires of her heart and answer them.
I pray that you let her know in a tangible, obvious way that you love her and
won't leave her to struggle with this alone.
I pray that when she does feel down and out, that you give her a boost through me
or someone else so that she knows she doesn't struggle alone.
I pray that Kim looks to you to answer this need in her life -- Lord, it is hard to go
through this life alone!!!
Lord, give Kim peace of mind that you are working on this as we pray and indeed
you have a plan to answer these prayers.
I look forward, Lord, to seeing how you are going to work this out in Kim's life.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Monday, July 10, 2006
So . . . . .
I had perhaps the worst week of my existence, in many ways, last week. I am not happy or proud of it either. But after falling in love, whether it is with a person, a church family, a culture, whatever, it is perhaps the most painful thing of all to say goodbye. And I don't think I have done a lot of real falling in love before now. Sad to say it, but I think it is true.
The mere idea of leaving my church family right now left me biting dust if you know what I mean. So, the concept of loss became tangible to me last Monday, I believe, and for 5 days I spent the majority of my time in a near catatonic state. It wasn't pretty. By Friday, I realized that church on Sunday was going to be too hard. I wrote some goodbye e-mails that gave me an out from Church. Saturday was not much better in terms of my attitude.
And then came Sunday. I woke up at about 4:10 am - it was getting light. It was a beautiful day. I knew I wasn't going back to sleep. I heard some ducks squabbling on the pond in the back, so I decided to do my bible reading on the deck. Down the stairs, put on the coffee, watered the plants, grabbed my cuppa joe, and went out on the deck.
Have you ever had times where the beauty of your surroundings gives you so much joy that it is hard to bear? This was such a moment. I marveled at God's creation again - ducks were squabbling on the pond, little red- and yellow-winged blackbirds were landing close by me on the feeder and would let out a sqwak because I was there and making them too nervous to eat, the water on the pond was twinkling, the sun was shining, there were fluffy white clouds in the mostly blue sky. To me it was as close to perfect as you could get.
"Thank you God for providing me a place where I could be sad mostly in private. Thank you for a beautiful temporary home and your perfect creation to enjoy this morning. Thank you for such a beautiful place to read your word today -- I pray you open my heart to hear what you would have me hear this morning."
Colossians 1&2
"May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father."
Thank you, Lord. That I am even alive today is by your grace alone. Thank you for the opportunity to
serve you today. Lord, please be with me today, please walk with me today. Thank you.
"For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness . . . "
Lord, I understand this concept, but I'm feeling some darkness here.
"Don't let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that
come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from
Christ."
Lord, thank you for a good teacher who keeps it simple.
"So don't let anyone condemn you for what you eat or drink, or for not celebrating certain holy days or new moon ceremonies or Sabbaths."
Ah, excellent, then it is okay if I don't go to church?
"You have plenty to do, Kathy, you should get busy."
Is that you, Lord?
"You have alot to do in the next week -- go get busy. Go down to your house and get started on that awful mess in your room."
Okay, Lord, so you are okay we me not going to church?
"Kathy, you have a big move coming up -- you better get started -- try starting with a shower, okay?"
So, seemingly absolved from the obligation to go to church, I came indoors and decided to do some checking out of people's blogs. I thought of some of the young adults in the church, and decided it had been a while since I had checked out Ryan Hastman's blog. So, I checked it out. After reading about Ryan's latest favorite "hottie" type of thing :) I read his next entry in which he explains Christianity quite succinctly. Here's the link, see for yourself:
http://ryanhastman.blogspot.com/2006/07/what-is-my-religion-religion.html
" it's about a relationship with a God who is a person, not an abstract force of nature; who knows my name personally and actually cares about my life; and who gives selfish-me a desire to love others because He loved them first."
God, I love my church family so much. But I feel such a failure -- I don't want to say goodbye. So, I don't have to go, right?
"That's it. Its not about not-swearing, not-drinking, not doing this and not doing that. That stuff is a natural by-product of the important things. And its FOR SURE not about judging people, anyone. We're all screwed up."
Wow! That matches up with my other reading.
Back out to sit on the deck and pray:
"God, I need your help. You know my circumstances, and I don't know what to do. I need to know what you would have me do with this circumstance. I will sit here until I hear from you."
"You need to leave it all to me. There is nothing more you can do. Remember: Love Me, love your neighbor."
God, I want to go to church. I guess I would prefer my last Sunday be filled with loving my family in person, and not hurting anyone else, than packing for a trip that might never happen and licking my wounds. Thank you, God, for clarifying and providing me direction through your Word and Ryan's, too.
The mere idea of leaving my church family right now left me biting dust if you know what I mean. So, the concept of loss became tangible to me last Monday, I believe, and for 5 days I spent the majority of my time in a near catatonic state. It wasn't pretty. By Friday, I realized that church on Sunday was going to be too hard. I wrote some goodbye e-mails that gave me an out from Church. Saturday was not much better in terms of my attitude.
And then came Sunday. I woke up at about 4:10 am - it was getting light. It was a beautiful day. I knew I wasn't going back to sleep. I heard some ducks squabbling on the pond in the back, so I decided to do my bible reading on the deck. Down the stairs, put on the coffee, watered the plants, grabbed my cuppa joe, and went out on the deck.
Have you ever had times where the beauty of your surroundings gives you so much joy that it is hard to bear? This was such a moment. I marveled at God's creation again - ducks were squabbling on the pond, little red- and yellow-winged blackbirds were landing close by me on the feeder and would let out a sqwak because I was there and making them too nervous to eat, the water on the pond was twinkling, the sun was shining, there were fluffy white clouds in the mostly blue sky. To me it was as close to perfect as you could get.
"Thank you God for providing me a place where I could be sad mostly in private. Thank you for a beautiful temporary home and your perfect creation to enjoy this morning. Thank you for such a beautiful place to read your word today -- I pray you open my heart to hear what you would have me hear this morning."
Colossians 1&2
"May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father."
Thank you, Lord. That I am even alive today is by your grace alone. Thank you for the opportunity to
serve you today. Lord, please be with me today, please walk with me today. Thank you.
"For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness . . . "
Lord, I understand this concept, but I'm feeling some darkness here.
"Don't let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that
come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from
Christ."
Lord, thank you for a good teacher who keeps it simple.
"So don't let anyone condemn you for what you eat or drink, or for not celebrating certain holy days or new moon ceremonies or Sabbaths."
Ah, excellent, then it is okay if I don't go to church?
"You have plenty to do, Kathy, you should get busy."
Is that you, Lord?
"You have alot to do in the next week -- go get busy. Go down to your house and get started on that awful mess in your room."
Okay, Lord, so you are okay we me not going to church?
"Kathy, you have a big move coming up -- you better get started -- try starting with a shower, okay?"
So, seemingly absolved from the obligation to go to church, I came indoors and decided to do some checking out of people's blogs. I thought of some of the young adults in the church, and decided it had been a while since I had checked out Ryan Hastman's blog. So, I checked it out. After reading about Ryan's latest favorite "hottie" type of thing :) I read his next entry in which he explains Christianity quite succinctly. Here's the link, see for yourself:
http://ryanhastman.blogspot.com/2006/07/what-is-my-religion-religion.html
" it's about a relationship with a God who is a person, not an abstract force of nature; who knows my name personally and actually cares about my life; and who gives selfish-me a desire to love others because He loved them first."
God, I love my church family so much. But I feel such a failure -- I don't want to say goodbye. So, I don't have to go, right?
"That's it. Its not about not-swearing, not-drinking, not doing this and not doing that. That stuff is a natural by-product of the important things. And its FOR SURE not about judging people, anyone. We're all screwed up."
Wow! That matches up with my other reading.
Back out to sit on the deck and pray:
"God, I need your help. You know my circumstances, and I don't know what to do. I need to know what you would have me do with this circumstance. I will sit here until I hear from you."
"You need to leave it all to me. There is nothing more you can do. Remember: Love Me, love your neighbor."
God, I want to go to church. I guess I would prefer my last Sunday be filled with loving my family in person, and not hurting anyone else, than packing for a trip that might never happen and licking my wounds. Thank you, God, for clarifying and providing me direction through your Word and Ryan's, too.
David
Well, sometimes Pastor Bob is just ON and yesterday was one of those days. He spoke about David in terms of three words: dwarf, dwindle and dwell. If I remember correctly, the point(e) was that sometimes our problems can dwarf us (in the example yesterday, it was Goliath who was 9' tall and who's armour alone weighted 5,000 shekels), our spirits and enthusiasm can dwindle (it happened to Israelites when Goliath taunted them for 40 days), but we can do anything when the Spirit of the Lord dwells within us (although in David's case, the Spirit of the Lord was upon him, as opposed to now, when the Spirit of the Lord dwells within us).
Really, these giants that come along in our lives can be referred to as "just the next thing." There is spiritual warfare often going on (i.e., Satan would like us to be discouraged, and can throw rocks in our path to try and discourage us). Just the next thing. Just the next thing. The next thing. I need to remember this.
Anyway it was a great sermon. I started to think about this concept in terms of David's whole life. The Bible covers David's life so well. List of possible struggles or "next things" in David's life:
1. David is the youngest son, short -- perhaps giant #1.
"But the Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height,
for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them.
People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7 (one of my absolute favorites)
2. David is anointed . . . but with no current kingdom to rule, since Saul is still King. Perhaps giant #2.
3. David gets a new job to play harp for his King, who has a tormented spirit. Gotta be hard.
4. David is appointed armor bearer for Saul, the King he is to replace.
5. David faces Goliath.
6. David is attacked again and again by Saul.
7. David has to leave town and goes to Gath, but then has to leave there to go to the cave of Adullam.
Now here is something I really, really like -- men who were in trouble,
in debt or discontent came to him there and so he had an army of 400.
8. Saul chases him down, and David ends up in the wilderness with his army of 600 now.
Has to go further and further because Saul keeps chasing him to kill him.
Really, these giants that come along in our lives can be referred to as "just the next thing." There is spiritual warfare often going on (i.e., Satan would like us to be discouraged, and can throw rocks in our path to try and discourage us). Just the next thing. Just the next thing. The next thing. I need to remember this.
Anyway it was a great sermon. I started to think about this concept in terms of David's whole life. The Bible covers David's life so well. List of possible struggles or "next things" in David's life:
1. David is the youngest son, short -- perhaps giant #1.
"But the Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height,
for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them.
People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7 (one of my absolute favorites)
2. David is anointed . . . but with no current kingdom to rule, since Saul is still King. Perhaps giant #2.
3. David gets a new job to play harp for his King, who has a tormented spirit. Gotta be hard.
4. David is appointed armor bearer for Saul, the King he is to replace.
5. David faces Goliath.
6. David is attacked again and again by Saul.
7. David has to leave town and goes to Gath, but then has to leave there to go to the cave of Adullam.
Now here is something I really, really like -- men who were in trouble,
in debt or discontent came to him there and so he had an army of 400.
8. Saul chases him down, and David ends up in the wilderness with his army of 600 now.
Has to go further and further because Saul keeps chasing him to kill him.
You know what? I was going to go through and list every "next thing", but I don't really need to. I wanted to see how many "next things" David had to deal with and there are plenty.
Off the top of my head:
Bathshebagate
The incident where his son rapes his daughter, Tamar.
His son taking over his kingdom and kicking him out of town.
Being denied the building of the Temple.
There were other things in there, but I am getting it in my head (hopefully) that David had a LOT of "next things". It seemed things were not always stable and smooth -- instead, there was always something significant that had to be dealt with. So, I wonder if there is a relationship between character-building and the number of "next things" you have to deal with? I hear alot of different views on this for sure.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
On The Subject of Miracles
If you are a Christian that happens upon this little tidbit, please respond - don't just pass me by, please respond.
I would like to know your thoughts about why God does miracles, especially if they differ from my own. I believe that God does miracles to increase faith in those He has called, to make those who do not yet believe aware of His presence, to remind us of the glory and power of God.
But do you think God goes around doing miracles when they are not necessary? Doesn't the word "miracle" imply that ALL other avenues have been tried? Have I got that wrong? I've heard at least a few sermons that talk about God not doing for us what we can do ourselves -- in other words, don't sit around on the couch and think by some miracle you will find a Jaguar in your driveway when you could be workin' and savin' up for your wheels, you know what I'm sayin'? I believe that it is by the grace of God that we have doctors and dentists, and that God expects us to utilize what He has provided on this earth to stay healthy. If I had a tooth infection, I would not sit on my couch and pray for it to be healed without also making an appointment with the dentist -- God's provision is often given to us through the dentist.
I've recently been advised to pray for a miracle in terms of getting a job with my recent degree with honors from NAIT. Why would God come up with a miracle when this could have been achieved in a normal fashion? Jobs are obtained all the time by secular and Christian people alike without requiring miracles - how would it glorify God to reward incorrect behavior with a miracle? If the situation of being jobless is due to our own messups, is God likely to step in and "rescue" us with a miracle that never needed to be asked for? Does God like it when we make mountains out of molehills?
One example in particular comes to mind -- the example of David. God and David had a great relationship for sure. David made some very poor choices and God told him that because of his choices, and David's undermining the Lord's purposes, he would lose his baby.
His baby indeed became deathly ill. David repented. He prayed and pleaded and fasted and begged God to spare his child. He asked God for a miracle. But seven days later, the baby died. Seven days David lay prostrate, without food begging God for a miracle. Why did God let this go on for 7 days? Why did God let that baby suffer for 7 days? Would David have understood the gravity of the situation if God had zapped that baby immediately? Or did God want David to pray and commune with God for 7 days, with the same consequence, but a better understanding of the gravity of his sin? Did God consider granting David's request? Was there something he could have done or said or prayed that would have achieved a different result? Who suffered the bigger consequence of David's sin - David or the baby? If the baby could have talked, I think I know what his opinion would have been. Why did God punish the baby? These questions are all too great for me, but I do understand that David was not granted the miracle he asked for.
I'm still going to pray for this what is now a "miracle" and I hope you will pray for it, too.
I would like to know your thoughts about why God does miracles, especially if they differ from my own. I believe that God does miracles to increase faith in those He has called, to make those who do not yet believe aware of His presence, to remind us of the glory and power of God.
But do you think God goes around doing miracles when they are not necessary? Doesn't the word "miracle" imply that ALL other avenues have been tried? Have I got that wrong? I've heard at least a few sermons that talk about God not doing for us what we can do ourselves -- in other words, don't sit around on the couch and think by some miracle you will find a Jaguar in your driveway when you could be workin' and savin' up for your wheels, you know what I'm sayin'? I believe that it is by the grace of God that we have doctors and dentists, and that God expects us to utilize what He has provided on this earth to stay healthy. If I had a tooth infection, I would not sit on my couch and pray for it to be healed without also making an appointment with the dentist -- God's provision is often given to us through the dentist.
I've recently been advised to pray for a miracle in terms of getting a job with my recent degree with honors from NAIT. Why would God come up with a miracle when this could have been achieved in a normal fashion? Jobs are obtained all the time by secular and Christian people alike without requiring miracles - how would it glorify God to reward incorrect behavior with a miracle? If the situation of being jobless is due to our own messups, is God likely to step in and "rescue" us with a miracle that never needed to be asked for? Does God like it when we make mountains out of molehills?
One example in particular comes to mind -- the example of David. God and David had a great relationship for sure. David made some very poor choices and God told him that because of his choices, and David's undermining the Lord's purposes, he would lose his baby.
His baby indeed became deathly ill. David repented. He prayed and pleaded and fasted and begged God to spare his child. He asked God for a miracle. But seven days later, the baby died. Seven days David lay prostrate, without food begging God for a miracle. Why did God let this go on for 7 days? Why did God let that baby suffer for 7 days? Would David have understood the gravity of the situation if God had zapped that baby immediately? Or did God want David to pray and commune with God for 7 days, with the same consequence, but a better understanding of the gravity of his sin? Did God consider granting David's request? Was there something he could have done or said or prayed that would have achieved a different result? Who suffered the bigger consequence of David's sin - David or the baby? If the baby could have talked, I think I know what his opinion would have been. Why did God punish the baby? These questions are all too great for me, but I do understand that David was not granted the miracle he asked for.
I'm still going to pray for this what is now a "miracle" and I hope you will pray for it, too.
On Golden Pond
“How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty.
I long, yes, I faint with longing
to enter the courts of the Lord.
With my whole being, body and soul,
I will shout joyfully to the living God.
Even the sparrow finds a home there,
and the swallow builds her nest
and raises her young—
at a place near your altar,
O Lord Almighty, my King and my God!
How happy are those who can live in your house,
always singing your praises.
“Happy are those who are strong in the Lord,
who set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs,
where pools of blessing collect after the rains!
They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.
“O Lord God Almighty, hear my prayer.
Listen, O God of Israel.”
Psalm 84:1-8 (New Living Translation)
On Golden Pond
I am truly a bundle of different emotions right now. Having just spent two years here in Edmonton, getting a degree and being extremely involved in my church and part of a church family, the sadness at the prospect of leaving is close to unbearable. I don’t understand really what I keep doing wrong in certain areas of my life. There just doesn’t seem to be a place for me – I say that knowing it doesn’t make much sense. There is a place for everyone, right?
I currently have a beautiful place to contemplate God and His plans. Sitting in a beautiful kitchen/dining/living room area (all in one) in the new home of my friends Sherry & Brian Wine in Northeast Edmonton, while they travel to California, my laptop set up on their lovely kitchen table so I may gaze through the huge windows that line the back of the house. My gaze drifts to the pond a hundred yards or so away. The large pond is sporadically covered with a golden “muck” – some sort of growth that is affecting the ponds in the area this year. The evening sunlight accentuates the golden color.
Despite the golden muck, there are several families of ducks that make their abode in this pond. I watched one such family, led by about 8 baby ducks and trailing 2 adult ducks making their way, single file, to the center of the pond. It is somehow soothing to see families of ducks on the pond, as if their being there, doing their normal things makes everything alright. I imagine what it would be like if there was no wildlife, no other species, to fill our landscape – barren and boring are the words that immediately come to mind.
Beyond the pond, there is a field of bright yellow canola and beyond that forest. The skies here are large, very large, and the sunset is creating beautiful colors on the horizon above the pond. It is hard to believe that I am in the prairies now. Prairie life is not the easiest overall. It is very dry here, the winters are cold, the terrain is very, very flat, and the vegetation is quite sparse when compared to the eastern seaboard of North America, which is more familiar to me.
And yet, as I gazed upon the golden pond, watching the ducks and listening to birds chattering in the area, I marveled yet again that God would create an oasis like this in the midst of a dry, flat and sparsely vegetated area. It is as if He gives us a place to get a glimpse of heaven, even if brief, so that we don’t give up hope.
In my own life, I certainly feel as if I am in the midst of a dry, flat and sparsely vegetated land. But today, I thank God for my time “On Golden Pond” – a place where I could get a glimpse of the heaven that awaits me. There is a place for me . . . and for you. Just like the sparrows and sparlings . . . and ducks . . . we have a place in God's house, On Golden Pond.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
2 Kings 1-5
Well, I hate to admit this, but it took a while for me to get through 2 Kings 1 today. It always cracks me up. I mean, really, what was King Ahaziah doing up among the latticework in his palace. I'm sure I am just not educated as to what latticework really is, but I get this picture of a king on the upper floor trying to balance on some kind of woven flooring, completely missing the mark and falling through -- perhaps he was pudgy, I don't know. The idea of a king falling through latticework is just amusing like a cartoon.
So, he sends messengers to the completely wrong god to ask if he will live. But they get intercepted by a man who informs them of the error of their king's ways who sends them back with a message to the king. The king asks the messengers to describe the man, and they simply say "He was a hairy man, and he wore a leather belt around his waist." From that alone, the king knew it was Elijah. I can only imagine that it must have been possible to comb Elijah's back hair or something . . . like other men weren't hairy??? If you said to me, "a hairy guy came in and asked for you", there would be a few that would come to mind! (Not that a hairy guy would come in and ask for me, mind you, but I think you get my point.) :)
Then, imagine the 2 teams of 50 men who were just zapped out of existence. Oh my goodness, the Old Testament is just filled with incidental deaths -- at least they seem incidental. These teams -- had they done something awfully wrong that required their execution? It seems God used them to send another type of message back to the king. Were they in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or would serving a bad king warrant bad things from God? We face these things all the time as we are not always lead by good leaders, but are instructed to pray for them and support them. The incidental feeling is just a horrible one, eh?
Anyway, it always takes me a while to get through that chapter.
So, he sends messengers to the completely wrong god to ask if he will live. But they get intercepted by a man who informs them of the error of their king's ways who sends them back with a message to the king. The king asks the messengers to describe the man, and they simply say "He was a hairy man, and he wore a leather belt around his waist." From that alone, the king knew it was Elijah. I can only imagine that it must have been possible to comb Elijah's back hair or something . . . like other men weren't hairy??? If you said to me, "a hairy guy came in and asked for you", there would be a few that would come to mind! (Not that a hairy guy would come in and ask for me, mind you, but I think you get my point.) :)
Then, imagine the 2 teams of 50 men who were just zapped out of existence. Oh my goodness, the Old Testament is just filled with incidental deaths -- at least they seem incidental. These teams -- had they done something awfully wrong that required their execution? It seems God used them to send another type of message back to the king. Were they in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or would serving a bad king warrant bad things from God? We face these things all the time as we are not always lead by good leaders, but are instructed to pray for them and support them. The incidental feeling is just a horrible one, eh?
Anyway, it always takes me a while to get through that chapter.
Monday, June 19, 2006
The Oilers
Wow! Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Championship did not disappoint me at all. I have to admit, I have not watched a lot of hockey -- this was game #2 for me (the first being the final game of the playoffs which was fantastic). Oh, I've seen bits and pieces of other games in the past, but nothing really captured my interest . . . until now.
I did not watch the first two periods -- some people have said that the Oilers did not play that well in those periods. I did, however, see the third and final period. I was mesmerized by the beauty -- the dance -- of the game. Both teams were INTENSELY focused. Their ability to "play" with the puck was awesome to see, as well as their ability to bluff with their bodies in an incredibly graceful manner. It seems as if these guys can change to the completely opposite direction in a split second.
I could not see much of a difference between the teams for the first few minutes of the period. Both seemed on top of their game. Soon, though, it appeared to me that Carolina had the edge. It seemed as if they knew in advance where the puck was going -- they were always there. They seemed fresh and fast. Our players are scrappers, though, and they dug deep and never once appeared down to me -- I loved that! They just kept going on. They had opportunities and as far as I could tell capitalized on them as best they could. One rebound by Pisani should have hit the mark for sure. He was there, it was his.
In the final two minutes, with the Oilers down 2-1, the Edmonton goalie came out, and we had 6 offensive players on the ice. We did not convert, and unfortunately, the Hurricanes captured a goal. Alot of people will probably question the wisdom of the decision to remove the goalie, but I don't. I think the Oilers did exactly the right things.
Sometimes, though, things just don't go the way you think they should -- this was one of those times. The game could have gone either way, but it could only go one way, and it went the other way.
Sometimes, things in my life don't seem to work out the way they should. Sometimes, I can do the right things and yet seemingly lose the game. Fortunately, God loves those who take a hit but get up and try again.
I did not watch the first two periods -- some people have said that the Oilers did not play that well in those periods. I did, however, see the third and final period. I was mesmerized by the beauty -- the dance -- of the game. Both teams were INTENSELY focused. Their ability to "play" with the puck was awesome to see, as well as their ability to bluff with their bodies in an incredibly graceful manner. It seems as if these guys can change to the completely opposite direction in a split second.
I could not see much of a difference between the teams for the first few minutes of the period. Both seemed on top of their game. Soon, though, it appeared to me that Carolina had the edge. It seemed as if they knew in advance where the puck was going -- they were always there. They seemed fresh and fast. Our players are scrappers, though, and they dug deep and never once appeared down to me -- I loved that! They just kept going on. They had opportunities and as far as I could tell capitalized on them as best they could. One rebound by Pisani should have hit the mark for sure. He was there, it was his.
In the final two minutes, with the Oilers down 2-1, the Edmonton goalie came out, and we had 6 offensive players on the ice. We did not convert, and unfortunately, the Hurricanes captured a goal. Alot of people will probably question the wisdom of the decision to remove the goalie, but I don't. I think the Oilers did exactly the right things.
Sometimes, though, things just don't go the way you think they should -- this was one of those times. The game could have gone either way, but it could only go one way, and it went the other way.
Sometimes, things in my life don't seem to work out the way they should. Sometimes, I can do the right things and yet seemingly lose the game. Fortunately, God loves those who take a hit but get up and try again.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Finally !!
Well, I'm not quite sure how to feel about this piece of paper -- the cost has been tremendous. The experience has been great. But I'm not sure what the future holds, so I'm not exactly in a celebratory mood right now. In fact, I'm a little depressed, but still happy to have received this degree which validates education received over the course of about 27 years.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
1 Kings 10 - 13
Well, I thought I had found something really interesting in the Bible. I thought it was really interesting in this scripture that it was the Queen of Sheba who came to test Solomon's wisdom. It wasn't the King of Sheba, but the Queen. I have to admit that everytime I see a woman in a leadership role in the bible, I get excited. There has either been so much emphasis, or so much misunderstanding from both insiders and outsiders, on the subservient role of women in the church. My father always said that Christian churches were not very good to the women in the churches -- meaning in regarding them as equals, or even allowing them to "speak". And I think he has a point.
I've been reading the bible for nearly 3 years now, and most of my time has been spent in the Old Testament. The laws were not kind to women in Old Testament times. But there were some women in leadership who are truly inspirational -- Deborah is a great example. One of Israel's judges. Chosen by God. Esther. Queen. Chosen by God. Even the Queen of Sheba. God rules all, so He appears to have allowed her or chosen her to test Solomon's wisdom. These women were leaders -- all with different styles it would appear.
I love what Jesus does for women. He just seemed to accept women. He freed them from bondage just like everyone else. He would have them be so much more than sideliners. And yet, my impression throughout the New Testament is that women are almost viewed with even less regard in the church. I believe it was Paul that provided guidelines for the "new church" that suggested that women should not speak in church. (Much less lead anything.) I've read a commentary that suggests that that should be contextualized as a way of establishing order in the emerging church at that time. I've liked adopting that.
Maybe you think I am male bashing -- far from it. There have been so many great male leaders -- I totally appreciate the front line leadership that men provide. I honestly don't know how they do it. I also think their job is hard -- they have to provide and yet are required now to play a pretty large role at home, too. I just get impatient with the assumption by so many, ingrained it seems, that women should play a certain role -- boxed in. I don't know quite why it gets my goat so much, but it does. I like to think in terms of teams with players all having roles, all roles having importance, interdependence, etc.
I've been reading the bible for nearly 3 years now, and most of my time has been spent in the Old Testament. The laws were not kind to women in Old Testament times. But there were some women in leadership who are truly inspirational -- Deborah is a great example. One of Israel's judges. Chosen by God. Esther. Queen. Chosen by God. Even the Queen of Sheba. God rules all, so He appears to have allowed her or chosen her to test Solomon's wisdom. These women were leaders -- all with different styles it would appear.
I love what Jesus does for women. He just seemed to accept women. He freed them from bondage just like everyone else. He would have them be so much more than sideliners. And yet, my impression throughout the New Testament is that women are almost viewed with even less regard in the church. I believe it was Paul that provided guidelines for the "new church" that suggested that women should not speak in church. (Much less lead anything.) I've read a commentary that suggests that that should be contextualized as a way of establishing order in the emerging church at that time. I've liked adopting that.
Maybe you think I am male bashing -- far from it. There have been so many great male leaders -- I totally appreciate the front line leadership that men provide. I honestly don't know how they do it. I also think their job is hard -- they have to provide and yet are required now to play a pretty large role at home, too. I just get impatient with the assumption by so many, ingrained it seems, that women should play a certain role -- boxed in. I don't know quite why it gets my goat so much, but it does. I like to think in terms of teams with players all having roles, all roles having importance, interdependence, etc.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Prayer
God, I thank you for today.
I thank you for those who touched my life today.
I thank you for those who lives I may have touched today in a positive way. I ask your forgiveness, for the hurts I caused anyone today.
I praise you for creating this day for all who lived it,
For the opportunity to serve you just even one more day.
I praise you, God, for your love and care today.
I praise you, God, for your love and care of my church today.
Lord, I pray for my church today.
I pray for the pastors in our church, Lord.
I pray that you guide them in their pastoring of people to guide those people to you.
I pray that as your priests, they recognize and revere the privilege afforded them in
serving a God whose greatness exceeds all of our understanding.
I pray for the board of our church, Lord.
I pray that you fill them with the sense of responsibility that governance of
your church brings.
I pray that they embrace the change and adjustments you would make in
their lives and the lives affected by their governance.
I pray for the support in our church, Lord.
I pray that we get a sense of your Spirit and your presence even in the smallest
detail of the work we do.
I pray that we stay settled and unruffled even if there is unsettledness around us.
I pray for the sick in our church, Lord.
I pray that you touch the hearts of those who are sick and let them know you are in charge,
that they are closest to your heart.
I pray they sense your love through their infirmity.
I pray for the families in our church, Lord.
I pray that the ministry of our church directly and positively impacts relationships in the
families at our church.
I pray that your presence is evident in our families.
I pray for the single people in our church, Lord.
I pray that you let our single people know that they are not alone, that they have a family
given them by you to minister to them.
I pray that singles entering our doors feel accepted, loved, encouraged at our church.
I pray for the spirit of our church, Lord.
I pray that your Spirit is the spirit of our church; the spirit of servanthood, of genuine
relationships, of mercy, of kindness, of love.
I pray that we actively seek your Spirit through guidelines you have set out for us in your Word, that we exemplify what you would call Christianity.
Thank you, God, for loving us, guiding us, training us, blessing us.
I thank you for those who touched my life today.
I thank you for those who lives I may have touched today in a positive way. I ask your forgiveness, for the hurts I caused anyone today.
I praise you for creating this day for all who lived it,
For the opportunity to serve you just even one more day.
I praise you, God, for your love and care today.
I praise you, God, for your love and care of my church today.
Lord, I pray for my church today.
I pray for the pastors in our church, Lord.
I pray that you guide them in their pastoring of people to guide those people to you.
I pray that as your priests, they recognize and revere the privilege afforded them in
serving a God whose greatness exceeds all of our understanding.
I pray for the board of our church, Lord.
I pray that you fill them with the sense of responsibility that governance of
your church brings.
I pray that they embrace the change and adjustments you would make in
their lives and the lives affected by their governance.
I pray for the support in our church, Lord.
I pray that we get a sense of your Spirit and your presence even in the smallest
detail of the work we do.
I pray that we stay settled and unruffled even if there is unsettledness around us.
I pray for the sick in our church, Lord.
I pray that you touch the hearts of those who are sick and let them know you are in charge,
that they are closest to your heart.
I pray they sense your love through their infirmity.
I pray for the families in our church, Lord.
I pray that the ministry of our church directly and positively impacts relationships in the
families at our church.
I pray that your presence is evident in our families.
I pray for the single people in our church, Lord.
I pray that you let our single people know that they are not alone, that they have a family
given them by you to minister to them.
I pray that singles entering our doors feel accepted, loved, encouraged at our church.
I pray for the spirit of our church, Lord.
I pray that your Spirit is the spirit of our church; the spirit of servanthood, of genuine
relationships, of mercy, of kindness, of love.
I pray that we actively seek your Spirit through guidelines you have set out for us in your Word, that we exemplify what you would call Christianity.
Thank you, God, for loving us, guiding us, training us, blessing us.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Well, God?
What would you have me do?
I know what I heard you say, Lord.
Although my hearing doesn't always appear to work right.
People speak, I listen, I don't hear.
You speak, I listen, do I hear you?
Override my own voice, God, with your truth.
Lies surround me.
I know what I heard you say, Lord.
Although my hearing doesn't always appear to work right.
People speak, I listen, I don't hear.
You speak, I listen, do I hear you?
Override my own voice, God, with your truth.
Lies surround me.
Monday, May 29, 2006
God
I see the sky -- the clouds, the sun, the rain --
I think of You
I hear the mighty pine trees, swaying ever so gracefully in the wind,
I think of You
I feel the cool wind on my cheeks, hair whipping about and stinging my eyes,
I think of You
I smell the torrent of rain as it falls upon the green, green grass of summer,
I think of You
I taste the salt of the ocean as memories are stirred in the far recesses of my mind,
I think of You.
How great You are, my Lord,
In all creation there is none like You.
I think of You
I hear the mighty pine trees, swaying ever so gracefully in the wind,
I think of You
I feel the cool wind on my cheeks, hair whipping about and stinging my eyes,
I think of You
I smell the torrent of rain as it falls upon the green, green grass of summer,
I think of You
I taste the salt of the ocean as memories are stirred in the far recesses of my mind,
I think of You.
How great You are, my Lord,
In all creation there is none like You.
Perspective
You know, I find it oh so very hard to maintain perspective sometimes. I was going through the French Open results and other articles to see what I might be able to send to members of North Pointe's Tennis League, and I run across this sight on MSN:
T E N N I S N E W S
T E N N I S N E W S
- Blake, Venus try to improve U.S. tennis rep
- Nadal breaks consecutive clay-court wins record
- Likhovtseva 1st seeded player to lose at French Open
- Blake, Venus, Clijsters advance at Roland Garros
- Kohlloefel, Babos win NCAA singles title
- At No. 13, Venus Williams rankled by low ranking
- Federer overcomes slow start to win at French Open
- Roddick practices, probably will play at French Open
- Iraqi tennis coach, players killed for wearing shorts
There's one item that just doesn't fit in the list, isn't there. I can't believe it. The tennis playing western world is riveted to their tv sets to watch the French Open, and the tennis playing Middle Eastern world is dying for wearing shorts to play.
I pray for the tennis players and other athletes in that part of the world today. I experienced such freedom as a young girl playing tennis -- I can't imagine the surreal horror these tennis players must have felt just before they died.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Da Gullible vs. Da Skeptic
I tell you what - I can not believe what people are willing to believe. Seriously. I heard today that 1/3 (that is, one-third) of all Albertans believe that The Da Vinci Code (a novel) is actually true. If that is true, then surely we have indeed arrived in The Twilight Zone. I also heard today that a large chunk of a satellite downlink was devoted to an e-mail from a man who said he is a Christian and that the book "confused" him.
I don't understand where the confusion comes from. I honestly don't. But now, though I don't believe the Da Vinci code is a concern, I do believe that gullibility and the lack of a healthy skepticism, among Christians and non-Christians alike, is definitely a concern.
Galatians 1:6-7, written nearly 2000 years ago, warns of believing anything other than the Good News that was shared with you: "I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who in his love and mercy called you to share the eternal life he gives through Christ. You are already following a different way that pretends to be the Good News but is not the Good News at all. You are being fooled by those who twist and change the truth concerning Christ."
I was so very strongly called to Christ and subsequently to God's teaching in the Bible, that I can't imagine adopting as truth something written as a novel today. I was hugely skeptical and disbelieving of God for 42 years. I can't imagine adopting a 5-year old novel, that was researched for 1 year as the truth about God. Skepticism, even about God, is understandable to me. It seems to me that God is sometimes glorified when he shows how our skepticism about Him is flawed. He is glorified when a skeptic brings an issue to Him and ends up surprised at how God can overcome anything. Skepticism is not necessarily unhealthy. There is alot of information that comes our way every day, and if we don't have a healthy dose of skepticism, well, we could spend a lot of time like a blade of grass in the wind, blowing to and fro.
to be continued.
I don't understand where the confusion comes from. I honestly don't. But now, though I don't believe the Da Vinci code is a concern, I do believe that gullibility and the lack of a healthy skepticism, among Christians and non-Christians alike, is definitely a concern.
Galatians 1:6-7, written nearly 2000 years ago, warns of believing anything other than the Good News that was shared with you: "I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who in his love and mercy called you to share the eternal life he gives through Christ. You are already following a different way that pretends to be the Good News but is not the Good News at all. You are being fooled by those who twist and change the truth concerning Christ."
I was so very strongly called to Christ and subsequently to God's teaching in the Bible, that I can't imagine adopting as truth something written as a novel today. I was hugely skeptical and disbelieving of God for 42 years. I can't imagine adopting a 5-year old novel, that was researched for 1 year as the truth about God. Skepticism, even about God, is understandable to me. It seems to me that God is sometimes glorified when he shows how our skepticism about Him is flawed. He is glorified when a skeptic brings an issue to Him and ends up surprised at how God can overcome anything. Skepticism is not necessarily unhealthy. There is alot of information that comes our way every day, and if we don't have a healthy dose of skepticism, well, we could spend a lot of time like a blade of grass in the wind, blowing to and fro.
to be continued.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Psalm 23
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want."
(Lord, thank you for shepherding me. Thank you for loving me and bringing me into your
family. Thank you for your Word which guides me just as any shepherd guides his flock.
Lord, thank you for providing for my needs. Thank you for ensuring I want for nothing.)
"He makes me lie down in green pastures,"
(Lord, who but you can make sure the pastures turn green each spring? Each year is a
miracle of your making and your praises are sung by the very beauty you have created.
I praise you, Lord, for making me rest in your presence.)
"he leads me beside quiet waters,"
(Lord, you know that lately the quiet seems scarcer, it seems there is constant pressure
to be moving as a turbulent river moves -- thank you for the quiet waters. I pray that you
teach me to rest quietly even as turbulence surrounds me. To be a testimony of you in
this way would be the delight of my life."
"he restores my soul."
(Thank you, Lord, for forgiving me and restoring me. Thank you for restoring my soul
though I will never deserve restoration. Thank you for choosing to love me and restore
me, and for loving and encouraging me even when I can see nothing but failure.)
"He guides me in paths of righteousness"
(Thank you, Lord, for your guidance. Thank you for your correction. Thank you for your
discipline. Thank you for your Word.)
"for his name's sake."
(Lord, I thank you for anything in me that glorifies you. Lord, I ask for your help in my
life, your strength, your wherewithall, to guard my testimony of you in my life.)
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,"
(Oh Lord, sometimes it feels as if this valley is constant!! Like the shadow of death is
everywhere and overshadowing everything. As if every step taken is examined and found
wanting.)
"I will fear no evil, for you are with me;"
(Thank you, Lord, for being with me. I pray you do not forsake me, Lord, as there is no
other than you for me. I pray for a sense of security in you, a tangible shield of your
very presence around me, so fears are allayed with the very thought of you and your
love.)
"Your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
(Thank you, oh Lord, for your discipline, for your training, for your refining, for bringing
me into your workshop no matter how painful, how difficult, etc. Lord, thank you for the
knowledge that any other way is useless and futile.)
"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies."
(Lord, I do not understand why there are enemies, and I don't always understand the enemies
I fight. But I love you and praise you, Lord, for your divine sense of justice, humour and
irony as you allow me to dine at your table even while not being welcomed at others' tables.)
"You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows."
(Thank you, Lord, for not just accepting me into your family, but for bringing an overflowing
cup of grace, mercy, blessings, and love, from the family surrounding me daily. Thank you,
Lord, for allowing me to work for you, and for honouring me. I pray I will not forget these
gifts you have given.)
"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,"
(Thank you, Lord, for your presence in my life.)
"and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
(Oh Lord, thank you.)
(Lord, thank you for shepherding me. Thank you for loving me and bringing me into your
family. Thank you for your Word which guides me just as any shepherd guides his flock.
Lord, thank you for providing for my needs. Thank you for ensuring I want for nothing.)
"He makes me lie down in green pastures,"
(Lord, who but you can make sure the pastures turn green each spring? Each year is a
miracle of your making and your praises are sung by the very beauty you have created.
I praise you, Lord, for making me rest in your presence.)
"he leads me beside quiet waters,"
(Lord, you know that lately the quiet seems scarcer, it seems there is constant pressure
to be moving as a turbulent river moves -- thank you for the quiet waters. I pray that you
teach me to rest quietly even as turbulence surrounds me. To be a testimony of you in
this way would be the delight of my life."
"he restores my soul."
(Thank you, Lord, for forgiving me and restoring me. Thank you for restoring my soul
though I will never deserve restoration. Thank you for choosing to love me and restore
me, and for loving and encouraging me even when I can see nothing but failure.)
"He guides me in paths of righteousness"
(Thank you, Lord, for your guidance. Thank you for your correction. Thank you for your
discipline. Thank you for your Word.)
"for his name's sake."
(Lord, I thank you for anything in me that glorifies you. Lord, I ask for your help in my
life, your strength, your wherewithall, to guard my testimony of you in my life.)
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,"
(Oh Lord, sometimes it feels as if this valley is constant!! Like the shadow of death is
everywhere and overshadowing everything. As if every step taken is examined and found
wanting.)
"I will fear no evil, for you are with me;"
(Thank you, Lord, for being with me. I pray you do not forsake me, Lord, as there is no
other than you for me. I pray for a sense of security in you, a tangible shield of your
very presence around me, so fears are allayed with the very thought of you and your
love.)
"Your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
(Thank you, oh Lord, for your discipline, for your training, for your refining, for bringing
me into your workshop no matter how painful, how difficult, etc. Lord, thank you for the
knowledge that any other way is useless and futile.)
"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies."
(Lord, I do not understand why there are enemies, and I don't always understand the enemies
I fight. But I love you and praise you, Lord, for your divine sense of justice, humour and
irony as you allow me to dine at your table even while not being welcomed at others' tables.)
"You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows."
(Thank you, Lord, for not just accepting me into your family, but for bringing an overflowing
cup of grace, mercy, blessings, and love, from the family surrounding me daily. Thank you,
Lord, for allowing me to work for you, and for honouring me. I pray I will not forget these
gifts you have given.)
"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,"
(Thank you, Lord, for your presence in my life.)
"and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
(Oh Lord, thank you.)
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
2 Samuel 10 - 14
"But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, 'Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, don't be so upset. Since he's your brother anyway, don't worry about it.' So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in Absalom's house. When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry." 2 Samuel 13:19-21
Some days, I hope no one ever reads this blog -- I could be way off this time. But my focus is the last sentence of the above scripture. You see, King David was very angry . . . but the bible makes no reference to him actually taking any action to rectify the situation. In fact, the notes in the bible I am reading say that though David was unsurpassed as a king and military leader, he lacked skill and sensitivity as a husband and father. Typical.
Perhaps you think I will start male-bashing here -- but no. I think that in many ways, guys have a tough job. They are expected to be good at their jobs, progress, get promotions, make money, make more money. And all the while, they will hear that they need to spend more time with their families. In fact, some would suggest that men not being home with their families more can lead to a breakdown in the family structure. But you know what? It is hard to be "super" successful (or sometimes even just successful) in the workplace if you don't spend the majority of your waking life at work. The trade-off unfortunately is often your family. For David to be the best King and military leader took a good chunk of his time! It is hard to go off to war and say "Maybe I'll reduce my hours to 4 per day so I can dwell on my family a bit more, or write home, or whatever." Try winning a war that way -- good luck. And many of us have work environments or work requirements that could be compared to war zones or war times.
But I think of the frustration that Tamar must have experienced. Wronged by her brother, she was even further wronged by her father. I say further wronged because David was really the only one who could take some sort of action that would have rectified or bettered the situation. The only one. If you can't trust your father, who is the only one who can help, who can you trust? Can you imagine? It must have been nightmarish for her. David, most admired, most successful, most powerful, decides to take no action on his daughter's behalf. It begs the question, then what good was his anger at all? It would have been insulting to me to know of and perhaps even directly hear of his anger . . . and then wait in futility for the King to take action. Perhaps day after day. Maybe Tamar thought "Well, nothing today, but I'm sure something is in the works.....tomorrow, perhaps tomorrow my name will be exonerated." And then nothing again. Knowing how hard it is to control my thought life, I can only imagine that Tamar would perhaps start thinking her life's value was little compared to many other things.
I thank God for sending his son, Jesus, to the women in this world. There are many situations in which women can find themselves feeling like Tamar, and I am thankful that Jesus is constant in his regard for women as well as for men. I see no evidence in the bible of Jesus devaluing the lives of women or encouraging or condoning having women in powerless positions. In fact, he was quick to point out and correct the double standards that existed (and still exist).
So, (righteous anger) + (no action) = what?
Some days, I hope no one ever reads this blog -- I could be way off this time. But my focus is the last sentence of the above scripture. You see, King David was very angry . . . but the bible makes no reference to him actually taking any action to rectify the situation. In fact, the notes in the bible I am reading say that though David was unsurpassed as a king and military leader, he lacked skill and sensitivity as a husband and father. Typical.
Perhaps you think I will start male-bashing here -- but no. I think that in many ways, guys have a tough job. They are expected to be good at their jobs, progress, get promotions, make money, make more money. And all the while, they will hear that they need to spend more time with their families. In fact, some would suggest that men not being home with their families more can lead to a breakdown in the family structure. But you know what? It is hard to be "super" successful (or sometimes even just successful) in the workplace if you don't spend the majority of your waking life at work. The trade-off unfortunately is often your family. For David to be the best King and military leader took a good chunk of his time! It is hard to go off to war and say "Maybe I'll reduce my hours to 4 per day so I can dwell on my family a bit more, or write home, or whatever." Try winning a war that way -- good luck. And many of us have work environments or work requirements that could be compared to war zones or war times.
But I think of the frustration that Tamar must have experienced. Wronged by her brother, she was even further wronged by her father. I say further wronged because David was really the only one who could take some sort of action that would have rectified or bettered the situation. The only one. If you can't trust your father, who is the only one who can help, who can you trust? Can you imagine? It must have been nightmarish for her. David, most admired, most successful, most powerful, decides to take no action on his daughter's behalf. It begs the question, then what good was his anger at all? It would have been insulting to me to know of and perhaps even directly hear of his anger . . . and then wait in futility for the King to take action. Perhaps day after day. Maybe Tamar thought "Well, nothing today, but I'm sure something is in the works.....tomorrow, perhaps tomorrow my name will be exonerated." And then nothing again. Knowing how hard it is to control my thought life, I can only imagine that Tamar would perhaps start thinking her life's value was little compared to many other things.
I thank God for sending his son, Jesus, to the women in this world. There are many situations in which women can find themselves feeling like Tamar, and I am thankful that Jesus is constant in his regard for women as well as for men. I see no evidence in the bible of Jesus devaluing the lives of women or encouraging or condoning having women in powerless positions. In fact, he was quick to point out and correct the double standards that existed (and still exist).
So, (righteous anger) + (no action) = what?
Sunday, April 30, 2006
2 Corinthians 6-8
"We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors." 2 Corinthians 6:8
The opposite of people pleasers! You've got to love Paul for his singlemindedness. My perspective gets a bit out a whack sometimes. For instance, because of I read of disciples & apostles in the Bible and admire them, I think they must have been admired in their day. I forget that they were definitely in the minority and were often slandered as opposed to praised. I really like their standing their ground, though -- their bold seeking of truth and goodness.
The opposite of people pleasers! You've got to love Paul for his singlemindedness. My perspective gets a bit out a whack sometimes. For instance, because of I read of disciples & apostles in the Bible and admire them, I think they must have been admired in their day. I forget that they were definitely in the minority and were often slandered as opposed to praised. I really like their standing their ground, though -- their bold seeking of truth and goodness.
Mark 15-16
"So Pilate, anxious to please the crowd, released Barabbas to them."
Mark 15:15a
People pleasers -- how many of us are people pleasers? I hate the thought of it, yet I do it myself. I can't imagine facing the same situation Pilate faced. He certainly had a stressful job, particularly on that day. Based on Mark and the other gospels, he did not flippantly hand Jesus over to be crucified -- he tried to find a way out. But the people would not be pleased without Jesus' blood being shed. Mob mentality is tough if not impossible to deal with.
It is easy to say that "if I was Pilate, I would have done something differently." But to say that is not very realistic.
Mark 15:15a
People pleasers -- how many of us are people pleasers? I hate the thought of it, yet I do it myself. I can't imagine facing the same situation Pilate faced. He certainly had a stressful job, particularly on that day. Based on Mark and the other gospels, he did not flippantly hand Jesus over to be crucified -- he tried to find a way out. But the people would not be pleased without Jesus' blood being shed. Mob mentality is tough if not impossible to deal with.
It is easy to say that "if I was Pilate, I would have done something differently." But to say that is not very realistic.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Exodus 17-20
"Then Moses pleaded with the Lord, "What should I do with these people? They are about to stone me!" The Lord said to Moses, "Take your shepherd's staff, the one you used when you struck the water of the Nile. Then call some of the leaders of Israel and walk on ahead of the people I will meet you by the rock at Mount Sinai. Strike the rock, and water will come pouring out. Then the people will be able to drink."
Exodus 17:4-6
Hmmmmmm......let's see how I would look at my options at that point in time. Now, the people are so upset with me that they are getting ready to stone me. The Lord gives me this plan to hit a rock with a stick and water will come out. If no water comes out, I am a dead man for sure.
In keeping with the appeal of bold Christians and Christians who take risks, I love how Moses was bold for God. (He wasn't happy about the public speaking for sure, but in these other matters.....). No matter how you slice and dice it, it takes some nerve with an entire population upset with you, to count on water coming out of a rock. Good grief.
Exodus 17:4-6
Hmmmmmm......let's see how I would look at my options at that point in time. Now, the people are so upset with me that they are getting ready to stone me. The Lord gives me this plan to hit a rock with a stick and water will come out. If no water comes out, I am a dead man for sure.
In keeping with the appeal of bold Christians and Christians who take risks, I love how Moses was bold for God. (He wasn't happy about the public speaking for sure, but in these other matters.....). No matter how you slice and dice it, it takes some nerve with an entire population upset with you, to count on water coming out of a rock. Good grief.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
2 Corinthians 4-5
To be completely honest, I don't know what to pull out of today's reading that supports my thoughts and experiences today. Or even what thoughts and experiences today support my reading of the above-referenced scripture.
What is coming to mind, what is impacting me, what is resonating inside of me, is the "bold Christian". Lately, I've run into some bold Christians, and I am very attracted to them. Whenever I have an encounter with a bold Christian, I think "that is how it is supposed to be." People who speak up for Christ, but who don't get wrapped up in traditional church culture, traditions, routines, etc. These Christians tend to be go-getters and fun. That's right -- FUN! I LOVE the energy that comes from a bold Christian.
It is so easy to let church or denominational traditions dictate our behavior, as opposed to what is supposed to dictate our behavior, which is the Word of God. Jesus had no hesitation in correcting the Pharisees in this regard. Nor should we hesitate to correct ourselves for the same thing. If we don't, we get the boldness sucked right out of us and are simply left with a dreary, boring, tedious existence. I don't think God intended that at all. I think that God intends us to live bold, interesting lives. My basis for that is my belief that God is pretty interesting himself -- no one boring would create what God has created -- just look around. And he created us, didn't he? In his image. We are supposed to become more and more Christlike as we live an obedient life, aren't we? Well, Christ wasn't a boring, tedious, law-driven man. He traveled, he made wine from water, he met and loved lots and lots of people............he lived on the edge as it were.
As I said, I don't know what to pull out of the above-referenced scripture to tie my thoughts and experiences of the day together. Perhaps the fact that Paul wrote it that is significant. Paul was far from a wimp himself. He was bold for Christ and he seriously lived on the edge.
How am I living on the edge for Him? How can I be bold for Christ instead of living an insipid, boring, tedious, law-driven life as if that represents obedience and humility?
Thanks to my friend Kim for sharing some bold Christians with me tonight. This is Kim:
What is coming to mind, what is impacting me, what is resonating inside of me, is the "bold Christian". Lately, I've run into some bold Christians, and I am very attracted to them. Whenever I have an encounter with a bold Christian, I think "that is how it is supposed to be." People who speak up for Christ, but who don't get wrapped up in traditional church culture, traditions, routines, etc. These Christians tend to be go-getters and fun. That's right -- FUN! I LOVE the energy that comes from a bold Christian.
It is so easy to let church or denominational traditions dictate our behavior, as opposed to what is supposed to dictate our behavior, which is the Word of God. Jesus had no hesitation in correcting the Pharisees in this regard. Nor should we hesitate to correct ourselves for the same thing. If we don't, we get the boldness sucked right out of us and are simply left with a dreary, boring, tedious existence. I don't think God intended that at all. I think that God intends us to live bold, interesting lives. My basis for that is my belief that God is pretty interesting himself -- no one boring would create what God has created -- just look around. And he created us, didn't he? In his image. We are supposed to become more and more Christlike as we live an obedient life, aren't we? Well, Christ wasn't a boring, tedious, law-driven man. He traveled, he made wine from water, he met and loved lots and lots of people............he lived on the edge as it were.
As I said, I don't know what to pull out of the above-referenced scripture to tie my thoughts and experiences of the day together. Perhaps the fact that Paul wrote it that is significant. Paul was far from a wimp himself. He was bold for Christ and he seriously lived on the edge.
How am I living on the edge for Him? How can I be bold for Christ instead of living an insipid, boring, tedious, law-driven life as if that represents obedience and humility?
Thanks to my friend Kim for sharing some bold Christians with me tonight. This is Kim:
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Mark 13-14
"As Jesus was leaving the Temple that day, one of his disciples said, 'Teacher, look at these tremendous buildings! Look at the massive stones in the walls!' Jesus replied, 'These magnificent buildings will be so completely demolished that not one stone will be left on top of another.' " Mark 13:1-2 (NLT)
Every time I drive down Airport Road, and look at the Edmonton skyline, or when I see it as I approach downtown from the south side of the river, I think how beautiful the buildings look to me. Really. I'm not really sure why I find the sight so pleasing. I've seen some pretty impressive skylines -- New York, Chicago -- but none are so pleasing to me as the Edmonton skyline.
It is for sure interesting to think that everything, EVERYTHING, of a physical nature that we build will be dust at some point in time. Everything. Every house, every school, every highrise, every road.......every church.......will be dust. There is not one thing we can physically build today or tomorrow or a hundred years from now or whenever, that will be exempt from being flattened, eradicated, demolished, even irrelevant. Just as God sees beneath our outward appearance, directly to our heart, He sees right through the walls of any church to its heart.
All that being said, it makes it very interesting to be involved or a part of a church that is building a new home. It is perhaps wise to ponder how irrelevant we may become if we associate ourselves too strongly with a soon-to-be irrelevant building. The only thing relevant about our new home will be the relationships that develop within it -- that's it.
And so, I pray. Lord, I pray that we have done and continue to do the very best with what you have given us, in all possible categories -- giftings, personalities, funds, love, etc. I pray that we honor the old and the new relationships that will enter that building, and that we associate none of them with the building, but all of them with you. That while we walk and tour the facility, we actually walk in your Spirit. And that we remain walking in your Spirit everywhere else we go as well. Father, I pray that we please you. Amen.
Every time I drive down Airport Road, and look at the Edmonton skyline, or when I see it as I approach downtown from the south side of the river, I think how beautiful the buildings look to me. Really. I'm not really sure why I find the sight so pleasing. I've seen some pretty impressive skylines -- New York, Chicago -- but none are so pleasing to me as the Edmonton skyline.
It is for sure interesting to think that everything, EVERYTHING, of a physical nature that we build will be dust at some point in time. Everything. Every house, every school, every highrise, every road.......every church.......will be dust. There is not one thing we can physically build today or tomorrow or a hundred years from now or whenever, that will be exempt from being flattened, eradicated, demolished, even irrelevant. Just as God sees beneath our outward appearance, directly to our heart, He sees right through the walls of any church to its heart.
All that being said, it makes it very interesting to be involved or a part of a church that is building a new home. It is perhaps wise to ponder how irrelevant we may become if we associate ourselves too strongly with a soon-to-be irrelevant building. The only thing relevant about our new home will be the relationships that develop within it -- that's it.
And so, I pray. Lord, I pray that we have done and continue to do the very best with what you have given us, in all possible categories -- giftings, personalities, funds, love, etc. I pray that we honor the old and the new relationships that will enter that building, and that we associate none of them with the building, but all of them with you. That while we walk and tour the facility, we actually walk in your Spirit. And that we remain walking in your Spirit everywhere else we go as well. Father, I pray that we please you. Amen.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Jeremiah 22-26
"If any prophet, priest, or anyone else says, 'I have a prophecy from the Lord,' I will punish that person along with his entire family. You should keep asking each other, 'what is the Lord's answer?' or 'What is the Lord saying?' But stop using this phrase, 'prophecy from the Lord.' For people are using it to give authority to their own ideas, turning upside down the words of our God, the living God, the Lord Almighty." Jeremiah 23:34-36
Wow. God is not at all wishy-washy in his desire for people to speak, hear, and understand the truth. Just the other day, I listened to a self-proclaimed 'prophet of the Lord' and I am thinking the study of Jeremiah is very, very important today, just as it was important in its time. It is so easy to get caught up in hype, or peer pressure, or manipulation, or any number of other tactics sometimes used by powerful speakers. But when it comes to the word of God being preached/spoken/etc., we have to be oh so careful that we do not allow false prophets to speak into our lives.
On the flip side, the responsibility we have as Christians is not to give ourselves or our ideas authority by claiming we have a 'prophecy from the Lord.'
Wow. God is not at all wishy-washy in his desire for people to speak, hear, and understand the truth. Just the other day, I listened to a self-proclaimed 'prophet of the Lord' and I am thinking the study of Jeremiah is very, very important today, just as it was important in its time. It is so easy to get caught up in hype, or peer pressure, or manipulation, or any number of other tactics sometimes used by powerful speakers. But when it comes to the word of God being preached/spoken/etc., we have to be oh so careful that we do not allow false prophets to speak into our lives.
On the flip side, the responsibility we have as Christians is not to give ourselves or our ideas authority by claiming we have a 'prophecy from the Lord.'
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Job 33 - 34
"But God speaks again and again, though people do not recognize it. He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night when deep sleep falls on people as they lie in bed."
Job 33:14-15
Oh my, this really does encourage me! The idea that God may speak to me in my dreams and while I'm sleeping is heart-warming at the very least. Sometimes it seems as if the day is far to short to sit and breathe and rest and listen long enough to hear what God is saying to me. At these times, I pray that he will speak to me in my dreams and work on my transformation through the nights as well as the days.
Job 33:14-15
Oh my, this really does encourage me! The idea that God may speak to me in my dreams and while I'm sleeping is heart-warming at the very least. Sometimes it seems as if the day is far to short to sit and breathe and rest and listen long enough to hear what God is saying to me. At these times, I pray that he will speak to me in my dreams and work on my transformation through the nights as well as the days.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Psalm 50
"I don't need the bulls you sacrifice;
I don't need the blood of goats.
What I want instead is your true thanks to God;
I want you to fulfill your vows to the Most High.
Trust me in your times of trouble,
and I will rescue you,
and you will give me glory."
Psalm 50:13-15
It is so easy to fall into the trap of going through the motions. Of believing that anything we sacrifice -- bulls, goats (back then) or money, time (today) -- benefits God. What a great reminder that it is ALL God's. He absolutely does not need us to sacrifice even one little whit of anything. He gains nothing from any sacrifice we make -- nothing. When we sacrifice with a right heart, the sacrifice benefits us.
I don't need the blood of goats.
What I want instead is your true thanks to God;
I want you to fulfill your vows to the Most High.
Trust me in your times of trouble,
and I will rescue you,
and you will give me glory."
Psalm 50:13-15
It is so easy to fall into the trap of going through the motions. Of believing that anything we sacrifice -- bulls, goats (back then) or money, time (today) -- benefits God. What a great reminder that it is ALL God's. He absolutely does not need us to sacrifice even one little whit of anything. He gains nothing from any sacrifice we make -- nothing. When we sacrifice with a right heart, the sacrifice benefits us.
2 Samuel 1-4
There are so many examples in these passages of misplaced priorities. And then also a God King David.
In 2 Samuel 1, there is the Amelekite who mistakenly thought David would reward him for killing Saul. Ironic, given David had opportunities to kill Saul himself and never did. His reverence for God precluded taking God's anointed King's life. You can not always or perhaps ever overcome evil by squashing/killing it -- at least not without God's permission. Saul was so evil, so demented, etc., that it must have seemed logical to kill him given the opportunity, but no so. And so, the Amelekite paid with his life.
In 2 Samuel 2, note Asahel, who chased Abner with single-mindedness and relentlessness. His obsession with his cause, and not with the Lord, led to his demise.
In 2 Samuel 3, Joab killed Abner in revenge for Abner's killing of Asahel.
In 2 Samuel 4, Ishbosheth was killed by two men, who proudly took his head to David in anticipation of gratitude. They could not have possibly been in attendance when the Amelekite issue was resolved, eh?
People are constantly trying to fight someone else's battles aren't they?
In 2 Samuel 1, there is the Amelekite who mistakenly thought David would reward him for killing Saul. Ironic, given David had opportunities to kill Saul himself and never did. His reverence for God precluded taking God's anointed King's life. You can not always or perhaps ever overcome evil by squashing/killing it -- at least not without God's permission. Saul was so evil, so demented, etc., that it must have seemed logical to kill him given the opportunity, but no so. And so, the Amelekite paid with his life.
In 2 Samuel 2, note Asahel, who chased Abner with single-mindedness and relentlessness. His obsession with his cause, and not with the Lord, led to his demise.
In 2 Samuel 3, Joab killed Abner in revenge for Abner's killing of Asahel.
In 2 Samuel 4, Ishbosheth was killed by two men, who proudly took his head to David in anticipation of gratitude. They could not have possibly been in attendance when the Amelekite issue was resolved, eh?
People are constantly trying to fight someone else's battles aren't they?
Friday, April 14, 2006
Choices
"Tell all the people, 'This is what the Lord says: Take your choice of life or death!' "
Jeremiah 21:8
That seems fairly simple until you read the statement within its context in the bible. It became clear that the choice of life He was presenting depended on one's turning oneself over the enemy at that time. No wonder people thought Jeremiah was a bit off. Can you imagine your country being invaded by the very worst enemy -- imagine an enemy that murders, rapes, is noted for their cruelty, terrorizes everyone -- and then the Lord sends a word to your country that "Hey, you want to live? Well turn yourself over to them. If you fight, you will die." True, the society that the Lord spoke to had become rampant with sin, but imagine being Jeremiah or perhaps another "good guy". Wouldn't it be hard NOT to fight your enemy?
Sometimes the Lord wants me to do exactly the opposite of what I think would be right -- and sometimes that is hard to discern.
Jeremiah 21:8
That seems fairly simple until you read the statement within its context in the bible. It became clear that the choice of life He was presenting depended on one's turning oneself over the enemy at that time. No wonder people thought Jeremiah was a bit off. Can you imagine your country being invaded by the very worst enemy -- imagine an enemy that murders, rapes, is noted for their cruelty, terrorizes everyone -- and then the Lord sends a word to your country that "Hey, you want to live? Well turn yourself over to them. If you fight, you will die." True, the society that the Lord spoke to had become rampant with sin, but imagine being Jeremiah or perhaps another "good guy". Wouldn't it be hard NOT to fight your enemy?
Sometimes the Lord wants me to do exactly the opposite of what I think would be right -- and sometimes that is hard to discern.
Friday, April 07, 2006
When When Will I Ever Learn?
So, after catching up a little bit on sleep tonight, I have been looking through some blogs just to see what's out there. The featured blog on blogger today is pretty interesting. There is an apple illustration on the blog, and to see the animation you need to have QuickTime, which is not on my computer. Well, I am very leery about downloading ANYTHING to my little laptop. My life is on this thing, and the thought of corrupting it or losing it, is unbearable to me. But, against my better judgment and with great trepidation, I decided to go ahead, and the download began. It did not take very long and I was encouraged to think everything would be okay.
But sure as anything, once the download was complete, even my internet connection would not work. "Oh no." I could not believe it, though I expected it all along. I'd messed up this entire computer by downloading QuickTime off the web. I tried going to a variety of sites -- nothing. I tried rebooting the computer -- no go. "I knew it! What a dumb idea it was to download that! I should have trusted my instincts!" I was filled with these recriminations.
I had heard one of my roommates come in a few minutes prior and I decided to go commisserate with her. When I told her my internet was not working, Joy said "I noticed." Aha. I had messed up our entire internet connection with my download of QuickTime. We checked the router in her room -- it appeared to be fine. Another of my roommates - Darryl - is packing to take off for home (the Yukon) tomorrow. He just finished his third year journeyman schooling today, and he is eager to hit the road. In his room is another router, so when I told him what had happened, we decided to reset that router. I was sure my actions had messed up that router, too.
Now before we go any further, you probably already know this, it is INCREDIBLY rare that you would mess up a router or an internet connection for a network by downloading fairly well recognized software like QuickTime. Incredibly rare.
Though I was sure it would not work, I went back to my computer. It worked fine.
I am reminded how easy it is to "connect the dots" in all the wrong ways based on a variety of factors. In this case, the factors were timing and preconditioned thinking. Because of the timing of my download and someone packing in his room and disabling a router, I jumped to a wrong conclusion. This would be amusing if this was the only time I did this, but I did this earlier today in the office, and it involved people. The factors were overtiredness and preconditioned thinking and the thing is, unlike machines, people have feelings and get hurt.
Lord, I ask your forgiveness now for my jumping to wrong conclusions about people in your family. You teach that man sees the outside appearance of a person, but you see the heart. Obviously, this is true in my case, but I ask that you make me more like you -- willing and able to see the heart and not jump to wrong conclusions based on appearances, lies and/or bad experiences. I pray you continue to work on me in this area, Lord, as it is people and relationships that matter -- nothing else.
But sure as anything, once the download was complete, even my internet connection would not work. "Oh no." I could not believe it, though I expected it all along. I'd messed up this entire computer by downloading QuickTime off the web. I tried going to a variety of sites -- nothing. I tried rebooting the computer -- no go. "I knew it! What a dumb idea it was to download that! I should have trusted my instincts!" I was filled with these recriminations.
I had heard one of my roommates come in a few minutes prior and I decided to go commisserate with her. When I told her my internet was not working, Joy said "I noticed." Aha. I had messed up our entire internet connection with my download of QuickTime. We checked the router in her room -- it appeared to be fine. Another of my roommates - Darryl - is packing to take off for home (the Yukon) tomorrow. He just finished his third year journeyman schooling today, and he is eager to hit the road. In his room is another router, so when I told him what had happened, we decided to reset that router. I was sure my actions had messed up that router, too.
Now before we go any further, you probably already know this, it is INCREDIBLY rare that you would mess up a router or an internet connection for a network by downloading fairly well recognized software like QuickTime. Incredibly rare.
Though I was sure it would not work, I went back to my computer. It worked fine.
I am reminded how easy it is to "connect the dots" in all the wrong ways based on a variety of factors. In this case, the factors were timing and preconditioned thinking. Because of the timing of my download and someone packing in his room and disabling a router, I jumped to a wrong conclusion. This would be amusing if this was the only time I did this, but I did this earlier today in the office, and it involved people. The factors were overtiredness and preconditioned thinking and the thing is, unlike machines, people have feelings and get hurt.
Lord, I ask your forgiveness now for my jumping to wrong conclusions about people in your family. You teach that man sees the outside appearance of a person, but you see the heart. Obviously, this is true in my case, but I ask that you make me more like you -- willing and able to see the heart and not jump to wrong conclusions based on appearances, lies and/or bad experiences. I pray you continue to work on me in this area, Lord, as it is people and relationships that matter -- nothing else.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
1 Samuel 16 - 20
Lord, please don't let me be a Saul.
Saul is a control freak of great magnitude. We talked about control freaks at a lunch I went to today, but there is no one, let me repeat -- no one, that even approaches the fringes of control freakiness that Saul lives out. At least, no one at that lunch that I could tell.
The story of Saul is a great example of how control is an illusion. Saul, as king with authority and power over his servants and minions, would have been one person on earth you would guess would be able to "off" (or rather kill) David. I mean, really. If anyone could do that, you would guess it would be Saul. He had the resources, the cunning, the desire, the boldness, the weapons, etc., etc., etc. But all these things, as far as I am concerned, simply served to give Saul an illusion of control.
How ironic is it that he saw this principle demonstrated in front of his very eyes as David defeated Goliath with a mere slingshot.
When the Spirit of the Lord is with you, you need nothing else.
Lord, I want your Spirit -- nothing else. I'd rather go tend sheep with your Spirit, than be a king with the illusion of control.
Saul is a control freak of great magnitude. We talked about control freaks at a lunch I went to today, but there is no one, let me repeat -- no one, that even approaches the fringes of control freakiness that Saul lives out. At least, no one at that lunch that I could tell.
The story of Saul is a great example of how control is an illusion. Saul, as king with authority and power over his servants and minions, would have been one person on earth you would guess would be able to "off" (or rather kill) David. I mean, really. If anyone could do that, you would guess it would be Saul. He had the resources, the cunning, the desire, the boldness, the weapons, etc., etc., etc. But all these things, as far as I am concerned, simply served to give Saul an illusion of control.
How ironic is it that he saw this principle demonstrated in front of his very eyes as David defeated Goliath with a mere slingshot.
When the Spirit of the Lord is with you, you need nothing else.
Lord, I want your Spirit -- nothing else. I'd rather go tend sheep with your Spirit, than be a king with the illusion of control.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Captive Thought
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:5
Captive Thought
So, I’ve been working out for a couple of weeks now. I’m trying not to think of it as just another cycle in my life, but more a recognition that without working out, I will not be physically fit, and the most useful gift God gave me upon my birth – my body – will surely suffer for my lack of attention.
Anyway, I tried the YMCA in the Castledowns area of Edmonton, Alberta – a fine facility. The equipment appears to be fairly new and immaculately cared for. And the people who work out there appear to come from every nation and station of life. It is quite interesting and heartening to see so many different kinds of faces at “The Y”. I’d been going with Barb, the Children’s Pastor at Central Tabernacle (now North Pointe Community Church), and she would bring a combination lock so we could lock our purses and clothes up in the locker room.
However, I flew solo on my third visit there, and as I was driving toward “The Y”, and wondering where I would be able to put my purse, I happened to glance at the little bucket container between the front seats in my car, and there was a combination lock. Laughing to myself (frankly, because God seems to anticipate every single little need in my life), I picked up the lock and tried to remember the combination. I knew the last number was ‘2’ and that the difference between the first two numbers was ‘2’ because that is how I remember things, by their relationship to one another. I was sure it was 12-10-2. But it was not. Perhaps 10-12-2. No. How about 24-22-2. No again. I tried many, many combinations, but nothing worked. Ah well, it had been three years since I had used the lock, so I wasn’t even all that frustrated when I put the lock back into the container and locked my purse in the trunk of the car.
A few days later, I decided to go to the gym with Barb again. But first, I went to dinner with Carla. Carla was in the mood for French Onion Soup, but what they served was just terrible, so she sent the food back to the kitchen, we had a soda, and then it was time to leave for the gym. Jogging to the car, I realized that with every step, I was saying a number in my head: “34-36-2, 34-36-2, 34-36-2, 34-36-2, etc.” I remember half-consciously wondering why there were numbers flitting through my mind, and I remember almost letting them go. Almost. But as I was getting ready to toss the thoughts out as garbage, I suddenly realized it must be the combination to my old lock, and sure enough it was.
As I write this little story tonight, I wonder what other thoughts are flitting through my mind and getting thrown out instead of being recognized and then dealt with. I wonder if my thoughts would be considered garbage or gold? Rick Warren tells the story of his father’s passing away, and in his delirium, his uppermost thoughts coming out of his mouth – “One more for Jesus, one more for Jesus, one more for Jesus, [etc.]”.
Tonight I pray for a transformed heart, a heart that seeks the will of God, a heart that opens up to God, a heart that cares more for others than itself, a heart that would know and follow its purpose. Lord, help me to take captive that thought and keep it playing in the background of my mind.
2 Corinthians 10:5
Captive Thought
So, I’ve been working out for a couple of weeks now. I’m trying not to think of it as just another cycle in my life, but more a recognition that without working out, I will not be physically fit, and the most useful gift God gave me upon my birth – my body – will surely suffer for my lack of attention.
Anyway, I tried the YMCA in the Castledowns area of Edmonton, Alberta – a fine facility. The equipment appears to be fairly new and immaculately cared for. And the people who work out there appear to come from every nation and station of life. It is quite interesting and heartening to see so many different kinds of faces at “The Y”. I’d been going with Barb, the Children’s Pastor at Central Tabernacle (now North Pointe Community Church), and she would bring a combination lock so we could lock our purses and clothes up in the locker room.
However, I flew solo on my third visit there, and as I was driving toward “The Y”, and wondering where I would be able to put my purse, I happened to glance at the little bucket container between the front seats in my car, and there was a combination lock. Laughing to myself (frankly, because God seems to anticipate every single little need in my life), I picked up the lock and tried to remember the combination. I knew the last number was ‘2’ and that the difference between the first two numbers was ‘2’ because that is how I remember things, by their relationship to one another. I was sure it was 12-10-2. But it was not. Perhaps 10-12-2. No. How about 24-22-2. No again. I tried many, many combinations, but nothing worked. Ah well, it had been three years since I had used the lock, so I wasn’t even all that frustrated when I put the lock back into the container and locked my purse in the trunk of the car.
A few days later, I decided to go to the gym with Barb again. But first, I went to dinner with Carla. Carla was in the mood for French Onion Soup, but what they served was just terrible, so she sent the food back to the kitchen, we had a soda, and then it was time to leave for the gym. Jogging to the car, I realized that with every step, I was saying a number in my head: “34-36-2, 34-36-2, 34-36-2, 34-36-2, etc.” I remember half-consciously wondering why there were numbers flitting through my mind, and I remember almost letting them go. Almost. But as I was getting ready to toss the thoughts out as garbage, I suddenly realized it must be the combination to my old lock, and sure enough it was.
As I write this little story tonight, I wonder what other thoughts are flitting through my mind and getting thrown out instead of being recognized and then dealt with. I wonder if my thoughts would be considered garbage or gold? Rick Warren tells the story of his father’s passing away, and in his delirium, his uppermost thoughts coming out of his mouth – “One more for Jesus, one more for Jesus, one more for Jesus, [etc.]”.
Tonight I pray for a transformed heart, a heart that seeks the will of God, a heart that opens up to God, a heart that cares more for others than itself, a heart that would know and follow its purpose. Lord, help me to take captive that thought and keep it playing in the background of my mind.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
My Prayers
Dear God --
I love you. I don't say it enough, but I love you. I am so profoundly grateful for your grace in my life that it is hard to feel it is expressed well. I praise you, I worship you, and yes, I cry out to you as well. Why would I cry out to you if I did not understand your magnificence and sovereignty?
I ask for your mercy yet again. You know me and my imperfections - I pray you forgive my attitude problems, my self-pity, my self-absorption, and all the other "mys" that are not what you would desire for me. I pray for a refocus on you instead of me. I pray for fervor in my desire to get close to you -- I am hungry.
To be continued verbally....
I love you. I don't say it enough, but I love you. I am so profoundly grateful for your grace in my life that it is hard to feel it is expressed well. I praise you, I worship you, and yes, I cry out to you as well. Why would I cry out to you if I did not understand your magnificence and sovereignty?
I ask for your mercy yet again. You know me and my imperfections - I pray you forgive my attitude problems, my self-pity, my self-absorption, and all the other "mys" that are not what you would desire for me. I pray for a refocus on you instead of me. I pray for fervor in my desire to get close to you -- I am hungry.
To be continued verbally....
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Thursday, February 02, 2006
I Crave You
Dear God --
I failed you yet again.
Caught unawares, the traps reached out, and I stepped in.
Why am I not prepared, Lord.
Perhaps because I have not prepared.
But God, I crave you.
I need you.
I want to rest in you
Though rest is undeserved.
I failed you yet again.
Caught unawares, the traps reached out, and I stepped in.
Why am I not prepared, Lord.
Perhaps because I have not prepared.
But God, I crave you.
I need you.
I want to rest in you
Though rest is undeserved.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
My Hero
For my friend Rick.
You are my hero.
You are not perfect.
You are not always right.
You are not always good.
You are not always happy.
You are not always level-headed.
You are not always pretty.
You are not always confident.
You are not always competent.
You are my hero because you are you with me.
You are my hero because of the way you handle your challenges.
You are my hero because in the midst of tough times, you think of others, and I have benefitted from that.
You are my hero because of your willingness to share.
You are my hero.
You are my hero.
You are not perfect.
You are not always right.
You are not always good.
You are not always happy.
You are not always level-headed.
You are not always pretty.
You are not always confident.
You are not always competent.
You are my hero because you are you with me.
You are my hero because of the way you handle your challenges.
You are my hero because in the midst of tough times, you think of others, and I have benefitted from that.
You are my hero because of your willingness to share.
You are my hero.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
"I Knew."
My eyes turned slowly to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
Shame overwhelmed me
As I contemplated all He had done for me
Upon the cross
And afterwards, too.
I closed my eyes and lowered my head
But he reached out, cupped my chin in His large hand
And drew it upwards.
“Open your eyes,” He spoke gently
I slowly opened my eyes to the light that was Him.
“It has been a while,” He said.
Indeed it had.
The sadness in me poured out,
My sins, my hurts, my heart,
He took them in
And I could see my sins, my hurts and my heart
Reflected in His eyes and on His face
As He never turned away from me.
Silence, as He absorbed me.
And then He simply said,
“I knew.”
Shame overwhelmed me
As I contemplated all He had done for me
Upon the cross
And afterwards, too.
I closed my eyes and lowered my head
But he reached out, cupped my chin in His large hand
And drew it upwards.
“Open your eyes,” He spoke gently
I slowly opened my eyes to the light that was Him.
“It has been a while,” He said.
Indeed it had.
The sadness in me poured out,
My sins, my hurts, my heart,
He took them in
And I could see my sins, my hurts and my heart
Reflected in His eyes and on His face
As He never turned away from me.
Silence, as He absorbed me.
And then He simply said,
“I knew.”
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Pianissimo
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)
Dear God - Pianissimo
So, it has been a while since I have played the piano. I am not a gifted pianist by any stretch of the imagination, and the purpose of my playing tends to be for relaxation and refocusing. Today, when I first struck the keys, the realization hit me of how much I missed playing the piano lately.
My training, such as it is, is in the classical genre, and I don’t really have favorites, just favorite pieces by different composers. Today, I started with Weber, then played some pieces by Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, Schubert, Clementi, and Kuhlau. But one piece in particular that struck me today was one by Haydn – a little Adagio, part of a Sonatina.
Now, usually when I play the piano, and envision playing for God in Heaven, I am grateful for His grace and pray that He fixes the many wrong notes that I play. Once in a while, though, when I am playing for Him, there is a beauty that comes through that transcends my actual abilities. Tonight was one of those rare times. I played the first page of the Adagio, and let the beauty of the delicate music wash over me. Nothing I did seemed to be able to ruin this music. I began playing the final page and was astounded that the beauty of the music far surpassed the first page. Each note, chord, rhythm seemed nearly perfectly played to me and the sheer beauty of the pianissimo (i.e., very soft and quiet) music touched my heart in such a way as to cause tears to pour out from my eyes.
This was quite surprising to me, and caused me some concern, until I heard Him speak to me. “Kathy, as beautiful as this music is to you, you are to me.”
He knew that I’ve been feeling old, gray and heavy. That I’ve been reflecting on too many years wasted and feeling quite old. That I’ve been worrying too much, sleeping too little and thus seeing a grayness come into my features. That I’ve been seeing the results of too many calories in and zero calories out on my body and feeling heavy with discouragement.
I am grateful that God allowed me to hear with His ears tonight. I pray for the humility and grace that would have me see and hear others as He sees and hears me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)
Dear God - Pianissimo
So, it has been a while since I have played the piano. I am not a gifted pianist by any stretch of the imagination, and the purpose of my playing tends to be for relaxation and refocusing. Today, when I first struck the keys, the realization hit me of how much I missed playing the piano lately.
My training, such as it is, is in the classical genre, and I don’t really have favorites, just favorite pieces by different composers. Today, I started with Weber, then played some pieces by Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, Schubert, Clementi, and Kuhlau. But one piece in particular that struck me today was one by Haydn – a little Adagio, part of a Sonatina.
Now, usually when I play the piano, and envision playing for God in Heaven, I am grateful for His grace and pray that He fixes the many wrong notes that I play. Once in a while, though, when I am playing for Him, there is a beauty that comes through that transcends my actual abilities. Tonight was one of those rare times. I played the first page of the Adagio, and let the beauty of the delicate music wash over me. Nothing I did seemed to be able to ruin this music. I began playing the final page and was astounded that the beauty of the music far surpassed the first page. Each note, chord, rhythm seemed nearly perfectly played to me and the sheer beauty of the pianissimo (i.e., very soft and quiet) music touched my heart in such a way as to cause tears to pour out from my eyes.
This was quite surprising to me, and caused me some concern, until I heard Him speak to me. “Kathy, as beautiful as this music is to you, you are to me.”
He knew that I’ve been feeling old, gray and heavy. That I’ve been reflecting on too many years wasted and feeling quite old. That I’ve been worrying too much, sleeping too little and thus seeing a grayness come into my features. That I’ve been seeing the results of too many calories in and zero calories out on my body and feeling heavy with discouragement.
I am grateful that God allowed me to hear with His ears tonight. I pray for the humility and grace that would have me see and hear others as He sees and hears me.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Fishy
I knew a pretty little fish
In a pretty little fishbowl
Who swam around and said “I wish
That I could see the North Pole!”
I said, “Fishy, I do love you
And I wish I could agree
But I see your home is messy
And is littered with debris.
How can I give you to the sea
When your home needs such repair
I tell you what my fine finned friend
Clean up and then I’ll send you……there!”
I pointed clear across the room
And Fishy looked there with me
His eyes grew big as saucers
At what he did not before see.
A fish tank twenty times as big
As Fishy’s little fishbowl
With plants and snails and other fish
With whom to share his fish soul.
So, Fishy tidied up his bowl
With his fins he swept his home
For a week he did this every day
And I thought the time had come.
In a pretty little fishbowl
Who swam around and said “I wish
That I could see the North Pole!”
I said, “Fishy, I do love you
And I wish I could agree
But I see your home is messy
And is littered with debris.
How can I give you to the sea
When your home needs such repair
I tell you what my fine finned friend
Clean up and then I’ll send you……there!”
I pointed clear across the room
And Fishy looked there with me
His eyes grew big as saucers
At what he did not before see.
A fish tank twenty times as big
As Fishy’s little fishbowl
With plants and snails and other fish
With whom to share his fish soul.
So, Fishy tidied up his bowl
With his fins he swept his home
For a week he did this every day
And I thought the time had come.
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