2 Samuel 10 - 14

"But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, 'Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, don't be so upset. Since he's your brother anyway, don't worry about it.' So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in Absalom's house. When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry." 2 Samuel 13:19-21

Some days, I hope no one ever reads this blog -- I could be way off this time. But my focus is the last sentence of the above scripture. You see, King David was very angry . . . but the bible makes no reference to him actually taking any action to rectify the situation. In fact, the notes in the bible I am reading say that though David was unsurpassed as a king and military leader, he lacked skill and sensitivity as a husband and father. Typical.

Perhaps you think I will start male-bashing here -- but no. I think that in many ways, guys have a tough job. They are expected to be good at their jobs, progress, get promotions, make money, make more money. And all the while, they will hear that they need to spend more time with their families. In fact, some would suggest that men not being home with their families more can lead to a breakdown in the family structure. But you know what? It is hard to be "super" successful (or sometimes even just successful) in the workplace if you don't spend the majority of your waking life at work. The trade-off unfortunately is often your family. For David to be the best King and military leader took a good chunk of his time! It is hard to go off to war and say "Maybe I'll reduce my hours to 4 per day so I can dwell on my family a bit more, or write home, or whatever." Try winning a war that way -- good luck. And many of us have work environments or work requirements that could be compared to war zones or war times.

But I think of the frustration that Tamar must have experienced. Wronged by her brother, she was even further wronged by her father. I say further wronged because David was really the only one who could take some sort of action that would have rectified or bettered the situation. The only one. If you can't trust your father, who is the only one who can help, who can you trust? Can you imagine? It must have been nightmarish for her. David, most admired, most successful, most powerful, decides to take no action on his daughter's behalf. It begs the question, then what good was his anger at all? It would have been insulting to me to know of and perhaps even directly hear of his anger . . . and then wait in futility for the King to take action. Perhaps day after day. Maybe Tamar thought "Well, nothing today, but I'm sure something is in the works.....tomorrow, perhaps tomorrow my name will be exonerated." And then nothing again. Knowing how hard it is to control my thought life, I can only imagine that Tamar would perhaps start thinking her life's value was little compared to many other things.

I thank God for sending his son, Jesus, to the women in this world. There are many situations in which women can find themselves feeling like Tamar, and I am thankful that Jesus is constant in his regard for women as well as for men. I see no evidence in the bible of Jesus devaluing the lives of women or encouraging or condoning having women in powerless positions. In fact, he was quick to point out and correct the double standards that existed (and still exist).

So, (righteous anger) + (no action) = what?