When When Will I Ever Learn?

So, after catching up a little bit on sleep tonight, I have been looking through some blogs just to see what's out there. The featured blog on blogger today is pretty interesting. There is an apple illustration on the blog, and to see the animation you need to have QuickTime, which is not on my computer. Well, I am very leery about downloading ANYTHING to my little laptop. My life is on this thing, and the thought of corrupting it or losing it, is unbearable to me. But, against my better judgment and with great trepidation, I decided to go ahead, and the download began. It did not take very long and I was encouraged to think everything would be okay.

But sure as anything, once the download was complete, even my internet connection would not work. "Oh no." I could not believe it, though I expected it all along. I'd messed up this entire computer by downloading QuickTime off the web. I tried going to a variety of sites -- nothing. I tried rebooting the computer -- no go. "I knew it! What a dumb idea it was to download that! I should have trusted my instincts!" I was filled with these recriminations.

I had heard one of my roommates come in a few minutes prior and I decided to go commisserate with her. When I told her my internet was not working, Joy said "I noticed." Aha. I had messed up our entire internet connection with my download of QuickTime. We checked the router in her room -- it appeared to be fine. Another of my roommates - Darryl - is packing to take off for home (the Yukon) tomorrow. He just finished his third year journeyman schooling today, and he is eager to hit the road. In his room is another router, so when I told him what had happened, we decided to reset that router. I was sure my actions had messed up that router, too.

Now before we go any further, you probably already know this, it is INCREDIBLY rare that you would mess up a router or an internet connection for a network by downloading fairly well recognized software like QuickTime. Incredibly rare.

Though I was sure it would not work, I went back to my computer. It worked fine.

I am reminded how easy it is to "connect the dots" in all the wrong ways based on a variety of factors. In this case, the factors were timing and preconditioned thinking. Because of the timing of my download and someone packing in his room and disabling a router, I jumped to a wrong conclusion. This would be amusing if this was the only time I did this, but I did this earlier today in the office, and it involved people. The factors were overtiredness and preconditioned thinking and the thing is, unlike machines, people have feelings and get hurt.

Lord, I ask your forgiveness now for my jumping to wrong conclusions about people in your family. You teach that man sees the outside appearance of a person, but you see the heart. Obviously, this is true in my case, but I ask that you make me more like you -- willing and able to see the heart and not jump to wrong conclusions based on appearances, lies and/or bad experiences. I pray you continue to work on me in this area, Lord, as it is people and relationships that matter -- nothing else.