Annabella twisted and turned and twisted and turned some more, but still could not see who was speaking to her with such a soothing and melodic voice. In fact, she couldn’t see any other ornaments on the tree at all and thought “How strange! I saw so many ornaments when I saw the tree from far away earlier. Where did they all go?” Of course, she couldn’t really twist upwards to see if there were other ornaments above her on the tree. “Maybe that’s where they are,” she thought.
“Annabella,” she said in little more than a whimper now.
“What’d she say?” asked a low, growly voice.
“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!” repeated a high-pitched, impatient voice.
“Well, someone oughta tell her to SPEAK UP if she’s got anything worthwhile to say!” said the low, growly voice.
“I know, I know, I know!” replied the high-pitched, impatient voice.
“Now Grumples,” said the soothing voice, “please quiet down your big bear voice a bit, and Squeaky, please stop repeating yourself in that annoying mouse chatter. Perhaps we can figure out who this ballerina is and get to know a bit about where she came from.”
“Just wait a moment,” a clipped, firm voice spoke up. “I think you will all agree that given my history as a soldier on this tree and the many medals I have on my uniform, I should be the one asking questions of any new arrivals. I am the best qualified of all of us to determine if this new arrival is a “plant” or someone we can trust to follow our protocols and procedures.”
Soft groans and some snickers were heard throughout the tree.
“Now, Captain,” the soothing voice seemed even sweeter than it had before, “let’s not overwhelm anyone with procedures and protocols without welcoming them first. Young lady, would you be so kind as to say your name a bit louder – this is a large tree, and everyone would like to know who you are.”
“My name is Annabella,” said the young ballerina.
“Annabella…..Annabella….. Annabella…..,” her name was echoed around the tree.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
Day 2
“Pssssstt….ssssshhhh……” Little by little, whispers of small voices intruded into the silence. Annabella opened her eyes and surveyed her surroundings. She had been so afraid when her carrier approached the tree, that she shut her eyes as tightly as she could. But now, as she opened them, she could see that she had been put on one of the bottom branches of the tree. She looked down and a small squeak escaped her lips – there was nothing between she and the floor which looked very hard and far away. “What will happen if I fall,” she cried to herself. “Surely my legs will break! And if my legs break, I will lose my beauty and forever be removed from the tree.” Annabella wanted to shut her eyes again and hope that the fear would go away, but she forced herself to raise her eyes.
“Pssssstt…..ssssshhh……” Annabella heard the whispers again. She looked to her left and right. “What dazzling lights!” There were little white, yellow, red, green, blue, purple, and orange lights, twinkling on and off.
“Pssssstt…..ssssshhh…..” Annabella couldn’t stand it any longer, gathered up her courage and spoke out in the strongest voice she could muster up – “Who is whispering there and why don’t you speak up? It is quite rude to whisper, you know. And frankly, I am lonely here and wouldn’t mind some company!” The whispers stopped completely.
She waited, and waited, and waited. Silence.
“Well, we didn’t want to scare you any more than you were already, so we thought we would try and be quiet for a while and let you get adjusted to your new situation. But, since you are eager, exactly who are you?”
“Pssssstt…..ssssshhh……” Annabella heard the whispers again. She looked to her left and right. “What dazzling lights!” There were little white, yellow, red, green, blue, purple, and orange lights, twinkling on and off.
“Pssssstt…..ssssshhh…..” Annabella couldn’t stand it any longer, gathered up her courage and spoke out in the strongest voice she could muster up – “Who is whispering there and why don’t you speak up? It is quite rude to whisper, you know. And frankly, I am lonely here and wouldn’t mind some company!” The whispers stopped completely.
She waited, and waited, and waited. Silence.
“Well, we didn’t want to scare you any more than you were already, so we thought we would try and be quiet for a while and let you get adjusted to your new situation. But, since you are eager, exactly who are you?”
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Day 1
“Finally!” Annabella wanted to yell out this word as she was gently lifted out of the box. She had given up all hope of ever escaping her prison of cardboard and plastic. Wasn’t she pretty enough? Every time the box was opened, she had tried extra hard to look pretty and sparkling, stretching her tiny little ballerina toes as far as she could for an even more delicate look, and smiling as wide as possible to show off her sparkling white teeth and her twinkling blue eyes.
But it was always one of her sisters or brothers that was chosen. Her box was stored in a closet in a child’s bedroom – the child currently holding Annabella in her hands – of the pretty house. Now, if the door to that closet was just slightly open, she could see her reflection in the plastic cover of the box. When her sisters were still living in the box, she could see their reflection, too. She thought they all looked very much alike – they were all pretty little ballerinas waiting to be put on the tree. Her brothers were handsome ice-skaters, with rosy cheeks, red scarves, and sweaters with all kinds of designs on them.
As she was carried to the pretty little spruce tree on its own table near the window of the living room, she could see some of her sisters and brothers looking at her from several different positions on the tree and she wondered where she would be put. She was very excited to see, hear, smell, and feel different things, but she was also just a little afraid. She had never been taken out of the box before – what would this new world and life on the tree be like for her? Would she be able to survive? Would she like it or wish she had stayed in her comfortable, but very lonely box?
But it was always one of her sisters or brothers that was chosen. Her box was stored in a closet in a child’s bedroom – the child currently holding Annabella in her hands – of the pretty house. Now, if the door to that closet was just slightly open, she could see her reflection in the plastic cover of the box. When her sisters were still living in the box, she could see their reflection, too. She thought they all looked very much alike – they were all pretty little ballerinas waiting to be put on the tree. Her brothers were handsome ice-skaters, with rosy cheeks, red scarves, and sweaters with all kinds of designs on them.
As she was carried to the pretty little spruce tree on its own table near the window of the living room, she could see some of her sisters and brothers looking at her from several different positions on the tree and she wondered where she would be put. She was very excited to see, hear, smell, and feel different things, but she was also just a little afraid. She had never been taken out of the box before – what would this new world and life on the tree be like for her? Would she be able to survive? Would she like it or wish she had stayed in her comfortable, but very lonely box?
Monday, November 21, 2005
How It Is Supposed To Be
“I lift up my eyes to the hills—
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
The Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
He who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, he who watches over Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
The LORD is your shade at your right hand;
The sun will not harm you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
He will watch over your life;
The LORD will watch over your coming and going
Both now and forevermore.”
-- Psalm 121
How It Is Supposed To Be
Well, I am quite surprised. I almost wish that culturally we could agree to not celebrate birthdays, to ignore them in the hopes that they will not come to pass, or to just let them go by as any other day.
I don’t know about you, but as my birthday comes every year, I evaluate my entire life in light of the number of years I have been on this earth. And although I’ve had some good birthdays, even great ones, most of my birthday evaluations don’t result in me giving myself a good grade. In fact, on most birthdays, I am miserable. Miserable.
This year, the time leading up to my birthday was no exception to this general rule. I thought I was doing okay with the whole thing – I really did. But the past couple of days, as I’ve approached 44 years of age, a single, childless, graying, quite out-of-shape woman, living in a room and board in Edmonton, Alberta, I’ve started experiencing heartache like I have never experienced before. An ache for how it was supposed to be.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little discouraged with my career. I won’t bore you with all the reasons, except to say that in my culture at my age, most people are a lot further in this area of their life than I am – at least, the people that I would like to emulate. I’ve been asking God to help me with these feelings of inadequacy, and sometimes I think I’m progressing, but the feelings of inadequacy have not gone away, and I still feel a bit of a failure. Really, sometimes I wonder if I even care at all about my career. Whatever I do, I like to do well, but very little seems truly important to me, other than the people aspect of things.
I put that on the backburner, though, as I went to a Christmas banquet on Friday evening, two days before my birthday. Oh, what a beautiful banquet that was, too. Our prayer room was decorated like a winter forest with real trees. The look and smell were fabulous! The meal was scrumptious, the speaker was great, the company at our table was wonderful -- all in all, a great evening. It was a little bit of a downer being a single in the midst of couples or couples to be, but it didn’t seem that significant to begin with.
That night, I met the Buntings – Ken and Sybil – he was a pastor at Central a while back. Talking with the Buntings was just fabulous. Both are in their 90’s and they spoke with the playful affection and banter of a couple that has been together, has grown together, has loved one another, for a very long time. It was awesome just to be in their presence. I thought, “This is how it is supposed to be.”
And though I marveled, my heart ached as well. These people have wonderful children (I’ve met them) and grandchildren and great grandchildren as well. They spoke of them proudly and fondly. Why aren’t I married with children, with the hope of children and grandchildren to come?
I tucked all that away, though, as I went into the church on Saturday, the eve of my birthday, to help with the construction of the Singing Christmas Tree. Shortly after I got there, I noticed that someone I was once quite fond of myself was there with his fiancée. I thought I was completely beyond any kind of attachment, especially since the attachment was mostly on my side – I’d prayed for he and his fiancée quite a bit, so was pretty sure I would be okay. And I was, until I went upstairs to get a phone number for someone, and became very reluctant to go back downstairs. I decided I would do some laminating for a while, and it was while I was laminating that I started really thinking about my life and “how it was supposed to be.”
I went to the little kitchen to get a cup for some water and glanced in the mirror. Oh no. How did this happen yet again. So heavy, so gray, so drawn, so weary. I could not recall ever having looked so awful in all my life. “This is not how it is supposed to be,” I thought.
I was surprised when I suddenly felt my heart contract. Was this going to be my “Happy Birthday”? Every which way I turned, there was evidence that nothing in my life is as it should be. I felt sucker-punched for sure, and it seemed like I was receiving blow after blow after blow – right to my heart.
But I composed myself, gathered the shreds of my heart and patched them loosely back together as I went to the kitchen to help, in an attempt to avoid any more negative thoughts and feelings. I figured Nellie and Debbie (Nellie’s daughter) could maybe use some help. They were sitting and chatting with Wilma and another lady when I joined them. We chatted. Just interacting with Nellie and Debbie, and watching them interact with their grandchildren and children, I thought, “This is how it is supposed to be.” My eyes welled up, though I don’t think anyone noticed. My heart cried out for the grandchildren that should have been in my life.
I put all that aside as I served hamburger soup so I would not have to sit and eat with anyone other than the wonderful ladies in the kitchen. A friend of mine had agreed to go to a restaurant opening with me in the early afternoon, so I actually did not have a chance to eat with anyone anyways. I had originally planned to come back and help more with the Tree late in the afternoon, but I just could not bring myself to be in the midst of “how it is supposed to be” anymore that day.
So my friend and I decided to go toodling around some local shops. We parked on a neighborhood street and walked to the little shops. As we walked down the street and by pretty, well-kept homes, some with little lights twinkling inside, I imagined the mothers, fathers and children inside and thought, “This is how it is supposed to be.” My heart cried out, “Why isn’t this how it is in my life?”
Mostly, the eve of my 44th birthday was not what I would call a very stellar moment. I tried not to, but I wallowed excessively, despite being disgusted with myself for the wallowing. In light of this, I was in dread of the following day. I did not want to get up and go to church on my birthday. What was I going to hear in the sermon? Answers to why I’m not the way I am supposed to be? God speaking into my ear? What? What? What?
“I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from?”
But, if nothing else, I am persistent. One thing I do understand is the importance of persistence. Even when things don’t seem right, or balanced, or fair, or possible, persistence is crucial. I’ve noticed even in the darkest of times that persistence results in some light being shed. And so off I went to church and thus, this birthday was no exception to this rule.
It is hard to stay immersed in darkness when you come to my church, Central Tabernacle. There are so many loving people here to encourage you back into the light. As I wandered around in the foyer, many of my church family wished me “Happy Birthday”. Many hugs and well wishes later, I went into the sanctuary for the service. I’d heard someone on the radio (Shine FM) say on the way into church that “if you need a boost, if you are feeling low, praise God.” I was eager to praise God and grateful to have the opportunity to worship Him right away.
“My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
The service was centered on Psalm 121 – one of my favorites. And the message I heard was that “harm, setbacks, or suffering are (1) temporary – come to pass, and (2) transformational.” An inspiring message of hope. One of our church moms, who leads some of our children, helped us with methods to memorize this entire Psalm – in fact, she did a “rap” type version of the verses that was quite fun! Already, the day was dramatically improving.
My closest friends took me to lunch for my birthday and I was spoiled with gifts as well. But the best part of this crowd is just being with them. They are very busy people -- they are always helping people to keep from stumbling, watching out for people, caring for people – true shepherds. I honestly don’t know where they find the time to do all that they do – perhaps they don’t sleep.
“He will not let your foot slip – he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.”
In the evening, it was on to my small group meeting. A football game, more hugs and birthday wishes, a good study about “generosity” – could you ask for anything more? A good birthday night, as well as a good birthday.
“The Lord watches over you – the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.”
I don’t know the answers to my questions, and I don’t expect to know the answers before I meet God face to face and He clues me in. I don’t know why birthdays are so hard for me. I don’t know why it is that there are times when I seem to get sucker punched over and over and over again. I do know that when that happens, and I look up to the Lord, He lets me know that He is watching over my life, that He is caring, that He is always there for me.
“The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
I find that He does this by sending His missionaries into my life with hugs, fellowship, well wishes, kind words, good sermons, and yes, even birthday lunches. Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness are just what is needed at the time. Every hug, every kind word, every “Happy Birthday”, every bit of the sermon and Psalm 121, every little morsel of that delicious birthday lunch, and every minute of my friends’ time, was a treasure to me on this 44th birthday. Thank you, Lord, for sending your missionaries to me at just the right time – I guess this is how it is supposed to be.
Whose missionary would you have me be?
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
The Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
He who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, he who watches over Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
The LORD is your shade at your right hand;
The sun will not harm you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
He will watch over your life;
The LORD will watch over your coming and going
Both now and forevermore.”
-- Psalm 121
How It Is Supposed To Be
Well, I am quite surprised. I almost wish that culturally we could agree to not celebrate birthdays, to ignore them in the hopes that they will not come to pass, or to just let them go by as any other day.
I don’t know about you, but as my birthday comes every year, I evaluate my entire life in light of the number of years I have been on this earth. And although I’ve had some good birthdays, even great ones, most of my birthday evaluations don’t result in me giving myself a good grade. In fact, on most birthdays, I am miserable. Miserable.
This year, the time leading up to my birthday was no exception to this general rule. I thought I was doing okay with the whole thing – I really did. But the past couple of days, as I’ve approached 44 years of age, a single, childless, graying, quite out-of-shape woman, living in a room and board in Edmonton, Alberta, I’ve started experiencing heartache like I have never experienced before. An ache for how it was supposed to be.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little discouraged with my career. I won’t bore you with all the reasons, except to say that in my culture at my age, most people are a lot further in this area of their life than I am – at least, the people that I would like to emulate. I’ve been asking God to help me with these feelings of inadequacy, and sometimes I think I’m progressing, but the feelings of inadequacy have not gone away, and I still feel a bit of a failure. Really, sometimes I wonder if I even care at all about my career. Whatever I do, I like to do well, but very little seems truly important to me, other than the people aspect of things.
I put that on the backburner, though, as I went to a Christmas banquet on Friday evening, two days before my birthday. Oh, what a beautiful banquet that was, too. Our prayer room was decorated like a winter forest with real trees. The look and smell were fabulous! The meal was scrumptious, the speaker was great, the company at our table was wonderful -- all in all, a great evening. It was a little bit of a downer being a single in the midst of couples or couples to be, but it didn’t seem that significant to begin with.
That night, I met the Buntings – Ken and Sybil – he was a pastor at Central a while back. Talking with the Buntings was just fabulous. Both are in their 90’s and they spoke with the playful affection and banter of a couple that has been together, has grown together, has loved one another, for a very long time. It was awesome just to be in their presence. I thought, “This is how it is supposed to be.”
And though I marveled, my heart ached as well. These people have wonderful children (I’ve met them) and grandchildren and great grandchildren as well. They spoke of them proudly and fondly. Why aren’t I married with children, with the hope of children and grandchildren to come?
I tucked all that away, though, as I went into the church on Saturday, the eve of my birthday, to help with the construction of the Singing Christmas Tree. Shortly after I got there, I noticed that someone I was once quite fond of myself was there with his fiancée. I thought I was completely beyond any kind of attachment, especially since the attachment was mostly on my side – I’d prayed for he and his fiancée quite a bit, so was pretty sure I would be okay. And I was, until I went upstairs to get a phone number for someone, and became very reluctant to go back downstairs. I decided I would do some laminating for a while, and it was while I was laminating that I started really thinking about my life and “how it was supposed to be.”
I went to the little kitchen to get a cup for some water and glanced in the mirror. Oh no. How did this happen yet again. So heavy, so gray, so drawn, so weary. I could not recall ever having looked so awful in all my life. “This is not how it is supposed to be,” I thought.
I was surprised when I suddenly felt my heart contract. Was this going to be my “Happy Birthday”? Every which way I turned, there was evidence that nothing in my life is as it should be. I felt sucker-punched for sure, and it seemed like I was receiving blow after blow after blow – right to my heart.
But I composed myself, gathered the shreds of my heart and patched them loosely back together as I went to the kitchen to help, in an attempt to avoid any more negative thoughts and feelings. I figured Nellie and Debbie (Nellie’s daughter) could maybe use some help. They were sitting and chatting with Wilma and another lady when I joined them. We chatted. Just interacting with Nellie and Debbie, and watching them interact with their grandchildren and children, I thought, “This is how it is supposed to be.” My eyes welled up, though I don’t think anyone noticed. My heart cried out for the grandchildren that should have been in my life.
I put all that aside as I served hamburger soup so I would not have to sit and eat with anyone other than the wonderful ladies in the kitchen. A friend of mine had agreed to go to a restaurant opening with me in the early afternoon, so I actually did not have a chance to eat with anyone anyways. I had originally planned to come back and help more with the Tree late in the afternoon, but I just could not bring myself to be in the midst of “how it is supposed to be” anymore that day.
So my friend and I decided to go toodling around some local shops. We parked on a neighborhood street and walked to the little shops. As we walked down the street and by pretty, well-kept homes, some with little lights twinkling inside, I imagined the mothers, fathers and children inside and thought, “This is how it is supposed to be.” My heart cried out, “Why isn’t this how it is in my life?”
Mostly, the eve of my 44th birthday was not what I would call a very stellar moment. I tried not to, but I wallowed excessively, despite being disgusted with myself for the wallowing. In light of this, I was in dread of the following day. I did not want to get up and go to church on my birthday. What was I going to hear in the sermon? Answers to why I’m not the way I am supposed to be? God speaking into my ear? What? What? What?
“I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from?”
But, if nothing else, I am persistent. One thing I do understand is the importance of persistence. Even when things don’t seem right, or balanced, or fair, or possible, persistence is crucial. I’ve noticed even in the darkest of times that persistence results in some light being shed. And so off I went to church and thus, this birthday was no exception to this rule.
It is hard to stay immersed in darkness when you come to my church, Central Tabernacle. There are so many loving people here to encourage you back into the light. As I wandered around in the foyer, many of my church family wished me “Happy Birthday”. Many hugs and well wishes later, I went into the sanctuary for the service. I’d heard someone on the radio (Shine FM) say on the way into church that “if you need a boost, if you are feeling low, praise God.” I was eager to praise God and grateful to have the opportunity to worship Him right away.
“My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
The service was centered on Psalm 121 – one of my favorites. And the message I heard was that “harm, setbacks, or suffering are (1) temporary – come to pass, and (2) transformational.” An inspiring message of hope. One of our church moms, who leads some of our children, helped us with methods to memorize this entire Psalm – in fact, she did a “rap” type version of the verses that was quite fun! Already, the day was dramatically improving.
My closest friends took me to lunch for my birthday and I was spoiled with gifts as well. But the best part of this crowd is just being with them. They are very busy people -- they are always helping people to keep from stumbling, watching out for people, caring for people – true shepherds. I honestly don’t know where they find the time to do all that they do – perhaps they don’t sleep.
“He will not let your foot slip – he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.”
In the evening, it was on to my small group meeting. A football game, more hugs and birthday wishes, a good study about “generosity” – could you ask for anything more? A good birthday night, as well as a good birthday.
“The Lord watches over you – the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.”
I don’t know the answers to my questions, and I don’t expect to know the answers before I meet God face to face and He clues me in. I don’t know why birthdays are so hard for me. I don’t know why it is that there are times when I seem to get sucker punched over and over and over again. I do know that when that happens, and I look up to the Lord, He lets me know that He is watching over my life, that He is caring, that He is always there for me.
“The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
I find that He does this by sending His missionaries into my life with hugs, fellowship, well wishes, kind words, good sermons, and yes, even birthday lunches. Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness are just what is needed at the time. Every hug, every kind word, every “Happy Birthday”, every bit of the sermon and Psalm 121, every little morsel of that delicious birthday lunch, and every minute of my friends’ time, was a treasure to me on this 44th birthday. Thank you, Lord, for sending your missionaries to me at just the right time – I guess this is how it is supposed to be.
Whose missionary would you have me be?
Friday, November 18, 2005
The Job Shadower
“ When Jesus came to Simon Peter, Peter said to him, ‘Lord, are you going to wash my feet?’
Jesus replied, ‘You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.’
‘No,’ Peter protested, ‘you will never ever wash my feet!’
Jesus replied, ‘Unless I wash you, you won’t belong to me.’ “
John 13:6-8 (New Living Translation)
The Job Shadower
I found myself in a predicament I had not faced before – a young lady, let’s call her Clarissa, asked me if she could come to work and “shadow” me on the job. She had originally asked Steve, a friend who is also the president of a bible college in Edmonton, but he was going to be out of town. She had also asked Brenda, another friend who is a manager in a care facility in Edmonton, but she was also not going to be available.
Oh no. My first reaction was truthfully, “What kind of cruel trick is somebody trying to play on this young girl?” Those other choices were much better and there are many other better choices she could make than to shadow me. We have several pastors in the church and we have congregation members in all sorts of positions who could perhaps really inspire Clarissa to go into a career where she could flourish and grow. I on the other hand, at 43 years of age, have taken several leaps backwards and am in transition. I currently am completing my degree by doing a practicum at my church, working as an IT Specialist and Special Events Coordinator and also, by default, the office secretary – something I swore a long time ago that I would never do again. I have not managed any practical aspect of my day-to-day life at all well, including my career, and don’t feel that I am a very good example for anyone who still has hope.
I really like Clarissa. She is in 9th grade and is 14 years old, but she looks like she could be 12 years old and in 6th grade. She knows this – in fact, she informed me of this early on in the day. I assured her that looking younger would appeal to her later on, but in fact she doesn’t seem bothered by it now! I would guess she is about 5’5”, well-proportioned and fit, very light brown hair with lots of blonde highlights, a slightly square face (she informed me of that, too!) that is benefited by wearing square earrings. Her eyes are a gray/blue I believe and she has a beautiful complexion with naturally adorable rosy red cheeks. I will do just about anything to make Callista smile – she has an extremely engaging and overall winsome smile.
What was I going to do? I hemmed and hawed and prayed, and prayed, and prayed, as quickly as I could when she asked me over the phone. In retrospect, I am amazed at the amount of melodrama I experience or cause myself to experience in my life, but nevertheless, I am very concerned for young people and understand the importance of good examples in their lives. And sometimes, I just feel like a big contaminant, bad luck, poisoned goods. And I think that stems mostly from a realization that I don’t want anyone to spend 43 years growing up when it can be achieved much more quickly than that.
However, as I prayed, a voice said to me, “Are you going to disappoint a young girl because you feel inadequate? Aren’t you here working for me? If so, then what is the problem? Or do you get your sense of worth from others than me?”
“Well, God, I don’t really know. I’m trying to convince myself this is not about P R I D E. I can’t help but feel that I would have been a better example a year ago or more than I am now. I have not accomplished much and seem to fall periodically into some kind of a slump. You keep helping me and blessing me in so many different ways that make it abundantly clear you are at work, but I often feel an absolute failure that you have to bail out over and over again. I am afraid of allowing myself to get stuck in a rut again and not accomplishing what you would have me do.”
“Have you thought of the possibility that this little assignment might not be about you but rather about Clarissa? I’ve used people in positions you would consider lesser than yours to do my work.”
Ah, yes. “Okay, Clarissa – I would love to have you shadow me at work.”
And so, Clarissa came one day a couple of weeks ago. She grinned right away. We chatted a bit, and then she asked a series of questions that the school wanted asked.
“What do you like most about your job?” The people – the fact that what I do affects many people.
She also helped with printing labels, labeling envelopes, and putting postage on envelopes.
“What do you like least about your job?” The repetitive stuff and the interruptive things like answering the phone and door.
When lunchtime rolled around, we walked to the local grocery store to purchase fixings for a tuna salad lunch. Believe it or not, I felt it was very important to model getting up and walking at lunch. (It would be better to actually model it by doing it on a regular basis.) Anyway, the Kaups were unloading a trailer full of beautiful spruce (I think) to decorate for our Christmas banquet, and two of the three had not brought their lunch, so we offered to make lunch for them, too. So, we got our lunch stuff: tuna, honey wheatberry bread, carrots and red pepper (healthy) and chips and Clarissa’s favorite cookies (not as healthy).
We made lunch and ate lunch and talked some more. Clarissa has several careers in mind: lawyer (she told me that she “argues” well), French teacher, art teacher, children’s pastor (she LOVES the nursery work in the church), and mother. I’m quite certain she will do well no matter what she chooses. She has a confident and well-adjusted presence, and my guess is that once she selects something, she will persist until it is achieved.
Clarissa learned how to use the shredder and was quite excited to be shredding some stuff that had built up over a period of time. It was great having someone in the office who was excited to be doing some of the more mundane activities needing to get done.
I can no longer remember the other questions that Clarissa asked – they seemed painfully pointed then, geared toward making me really evaluate my life situation, but in hindsight have perhaps lost some of their impact.
“Lord, thank you for the opportunity to spend a day with Clarissa, a beautiful, young lady with a bright future ahead of her. I pray that while she shadowed me, there was some positive impact on her life. I pray that she remains free of the cynicism and pride that you are having to work on in me, no matter what path she chooses for her career. Thank you, Lord, for inviting me to shadow you that day – I pray that in some way I did, even if it was only for a moment or two. Amen.”
Jesus replied, ‘You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.’
‘No,’ Peter protested, ‘you will never ever wash my feet!’
Jesus replied, ‘Unless I wash you, you won’t belong to me.’ “
John 13:6-8 (New Living Translation)
The Job Shadower
I found myself in a predicament I had not faced before – a young lady, let’s call her Clarissa, asked me if she could come to work and “shadow” me on the job. She had originally asked Steve, a friend who is also the president of a bible college in Edmonton, but he was going to be out of town. She had also asked Brenda, another friend who is a manager in a care facility in Edmonton, but she was also not going to be available.
Oh no. My first reaction was truthfully, “What kind of cruel trick is somebody trying to play on this young girl?” Those other choices were much better and there are many other better choices she could make than to shadow me. We have several pastors in the church and we have congregation members in all sorts of positions who could perhaps really inspire Clarissa to go into a career where she could flourish and grow. I on the other hand, at 43 years of age, have taken several leaps backwards and am in transition. I currently am completing my degree by doing a practicum at my church, working as an IT Specialist and Special Events Coordinator and also, by default, the office secretary – something I swore a long time ago that I would never do again. I have not managed any practical aspect of my day-to-day life at all well, including my career, and don’t feel that I am a very good example for anyone who still has hope.
I really like Clarissa. She is in 9th grade and is 14 years old, but she looks like she could be 12 years old and in 6th grade. She knows this – in fact, she informed me of this early on in the day. I assured her that looking younger would appeal to her later on, but in fact she doesn’t seem bothered by it now! I would guess she is about 5’5”, well-proportioned and fit, very light brown hair with lots of blonde highlights, a slightly square face (she informed me of that, too!) that is benefited by wearing square earrings. Her eyes are a gray/blue I believe and she has a beautiful complexion with naturally adorable rosy red cheeks. I will do just about anything to make Callista smile – she has an extremely engaging and overall winsome smile.
What was I going to do? I hemmed and hawed and prayed, and prayed, and prayed, as quickly as I could when she asked me over the phone. In retrospect, I am amazed at the amount of melodrama I experience or cause myself to experience in my life, but nevertheless, I am very concerned for young people and understand the importance of good examples in their lives. And sometimes, I just feel like a big contaminant, bad luck, poisoned goods. And I think that stems mostly from a realization that I don’t want anyone to spend 43 years growing up when it can be achieved much more quickly than that.
However, as I prayed, a voice said to me, “Are you going to disappoint a young girl because you feel inadequate? Aren’t you here working for me? If so, then what is the problem? Or do you get your sense of worth from others than me?”
“Well, God, I don’t really know. I’m trying to convince myself this is not about P R I D E. I can’t help but feel that I would have been a better example a year ago or more than I am now. I have not accomplished much and seem to fall periodically into some kind of a slump. You keep helping me and blessing me in so many different ways that make it abundantly clear you are at work, but I often feel an absolute failure that you have to bail out over and over again. I am afraid of allowing myself to get stuck in a rut again and not accomplishing what you would have me do.”
“Have you thought of the possibility that this little assignment might not be about you but rather about Clarissa? I’ve used people in positions you would consider lesser than yours to do my work.”
Ah, yes. “Okay, Clarissa – I would love to have you shadow me at work.”
And so, Clarissa came one day a couple of weeks ago. She grinned right away. We chatted a bit, and then she asked a series of questions that the school wanted asked.
“What do you like most about your job?” The people – the fact that what I do affects many people.
She also helped with printing labels, labeling envelopes, and putting postage on envelopes.
“What do you like least about your job?” The repetitive stuff and the interruptive things like answering the phone and door.
When lunchtime rolled around, we walked to the local grocery store to purchase fixings for a tuna salad lunch. Believe it or not, I felt it was very important to model getting up and walking at lunch. (It would be better to actually model it by doing it on a regular basis.) Anyway, the Kaups were unloading a trailer full of beautiful spruce (I think) to decorate for our Christmas banquet, and two of the three had not brought their lunch, so we offered to make lunch for them, too. So, we got our lunch stuff: tuna, honey wheatberry bread, carrots and red pepper (healthy) and chips and Clarissa’s favorite cookies (not as healthy).
We made lunch and ate lunch and talked some more. Clarissa has several careers in mind: lawyer (she told me that she “argues” well), French teacher, art teacher, children’s pastor (she LOVES the nursery work in the church), and mother. I’m quite certain she will do well no matter what she chooses. She has a confident and well-adjusted presence, and my guess is that once she selects something, she will persist until it is achieved.
Clarissa learned how to use the shredder and was quite excited to be shredding some stuff that had built up over a period of time. It was great having someone in the office who was excited to be doing some of the more mundane activities needing to get done.
I can no longer remember the other questions that Clarissa asked – they seemed painfully pointed then, geared toward making me really evaluate my life situation, but in hindsight have perhaps lost some of their impact.
“Lord, thank you for the opportunity to spend a day with Clarissa, a beautiful, young lady with a bright future ahead of her. I pray that while she shadowed me, there was some positive impact on her life. I pray that she remains free of the cynicism and pride that you are having to work on in me, no matter what path she chooses for her career. Thank you, Lord, for inviting me to shadow you that day – I pray that in some way I did, even if it was only for a moment or two. Amen.”
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Great Sunday
Well, it was a great Sunday today. I was in the worship band for the service today, which is always awesome. The band and singers were all excellent and the songs were some of my favorites.
The sermon was probably one of the best I've heard in a while, and was about how to go about figuring out if you are balanced or imbalanced in your life. A major focus was on how the busyness in our lives can distract us from the God that we need. And how we often tend to spin plates -- just tend to them enough to keep them up in the air kind of thing. And how if we can't rest, then God really can't use us like he would like to. That you have to understand you can't do everything you want to do -- there will always be more opportunities than you can take and so you have to choose. And that when you are imbalanced in your life, and you are overstressed, etc., you can say hurtful things, you can think lies are true, etc.
That sermon spoke directly to me.
The sermon was probably one of the best I've heard in a while, and was about how to go about figuring out if you are balanced or imbalanced in your life. A major focus was on how the busyness in our lives can distract us from the God that we need. And how we often tend to spin plates -- just tend to them enough to keep them up in the air kind of thing. And how if we can't rest, then God really can't use us like he would like to. That you have to understand you can't do everything you want to do -- there will always be more opportunities than you can take and so you have to choose. And that when you are imbalanced in your life, and you are overstressed, etc., you can say hurtful things, you can think lies are true, etc.
That sermon spoke directly to me.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Sing For Joy
“Those who have been ransomed by the Lord will return to Jerusalem, singing songs of everlasting joy. Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be overcome with joy and gladness.”
Isaiah 51:11 (New Living Translation)
Sing For Joy
The irony. I’ve been playing a worship song in my car for the last week, and the beautiful refrain goes like this: “Sing for Joy, to God our strength!” The harmony on the refrain is quite close and reminds me so much of African songs, that I can hear it being sung by African voices in my head. Every time I play the song, I think of one of my new housemates: Joy.
Joy is one of four other students living in this room and board, all of whom go to bible college. Now, I’m not sure if there are some of you out there who have stereotypical ideas of how bible college students look and act –- I know I used to have stereotypical ideas in my head -- but Joy would break any of those in less than a minute of meeting her.
She stands about 5’1” tall and has a very tiny frame. Her hair is dyed and heavily highlighted and is left curly but in a very loose ponytail. Her Irish heritage has given her big blue almond-shaped eyes and a quirky, little smile that can quickly grow huge, especially if we are poking fun at one of the other roommates! Her style is often what I call “hippy grunge”. I don’t think I need to explain that further, do you? She sports a nose-ring as so many young adults do, and to top it all off, on her wrist is a tattoo – Hebrew words that when translated mean “Property of God”.
As far as personality goes, at the onset she might seem a bit rough around the edges – some say she has the gift of sarcasm. But sarcasm has a negativity associated with it that I think is missing in her – perhaps at times you could say she is sardonically humorous! But she also seems to me to be a mixture of pragmatism and . . . you guessed it . . . joy. She seems quite humble to me, with no airs about her, and seems to prefer sharing information, confessing, etc., in a straight-up fashion – no beating around the bush. At 24, she is five to seven years older than the other students, and the other students enjoy her immensely because she is still one of them, but more mature.
Joy’s brother died today. He was 37 years old. Apparently, last night, he went to a party and overdid the partying a bit. So, it is guessed he decided to sleep it off in his car, but the car was running and there was a leak somewhere that lead to his death by carbon monoxide poisoning.
My brother is 41 years old. He also recently decided to sleep it off in his car, but was fortunate enough that the car wasn’t running. He was briefly detained at a local police station, then released, though his friend’s car was impounded.
I have been waiting for the call that my brother has died since he was in his early twenties, yet Joy, who is 20 years younger than me, got the call first. I asked her if her brother knew the Lord – she wasn’t sure. But I’m thinking from the things she has told me and since they are PKs (pastor’s kids), and she said he wasn’t troubled or anything like that, that he did. He may not have been very obedient (I guess I can relate to that), but I’m guessing he knew the Lord.
My brother on the other hand does not know the Lord. He is anti-God, anti-religion, anti-spiritual – just one big “anti”. He is a very troubled individual, with alcoholism and depression being two of his major challenges in life. We all thought he really was on his last legs recently, but God has graced him with yet a little more time, another opportunity, etc., to get to know Him. Much to my astonishment. I should not be surprised, really. God is far more gracious and forgiving than I can even understand. I’ve had my brother in the grave for 20 years, but thankfully, God obviously has had different plans.
Tonight, just as the refrain of my newest favorite worship song says, I sing and pray for Joy to God our strength. Lord, I pray she and her family receive strength and peace from you about her brother’s passing. I pray that you take any part of Joy’s brother’s life that is tragic and turn it into something good. I pray that you use this experience in their lives in a greater way than we can imagine, that this does not just become a “fluke” incident in their lives, but that your impact is felt on the family and all the friends as well, through the upcoming weeks. I pray your protection for Joy as she travels to be with her family. And I thank you for the Joy that has come into my life and shown me just a little bit more of you and your amazing ability to affect the lives of so many different and vital people.
I also pray for my brother, Lord. I thank you for your grace in his life and I pray that you open his heart to receiving the forgiveness and grace he is seeking and needs desperately so that he is not a story of tragedy, but of victory.
Thank you, Lord.
Isaiah 51:11 (New Living Translation)
Sing For Joy
The irony. I’ve been playing a worship song in my car for the last week, and the beautiful refrain goes like this: “Sing for Joy, to God our strength!” The harmony on the refrain is quite close and reminds me so much of African songs, that I can hear it being sung by African voices in my head. Every time I play the song, I think of one of my new housemates: Joy.
Joy is one of four other students living in this room and board, all of whom go to bible college. Now, I’m not sure if there are some of you out there who have stereotypical ideas of how bible college students look and act –- I know I used to have stereotypical ideas in my head -- but Joy would break any of those in less than a minute of meeting her.
She stands about 5’1” tall and has a very tiny frame. Her hair is dyed and heavily highlighted and is left curly but in a very loose ponytail. Her Irish heritage has given her big blue almond-shaped eyes and a quirky, little smile that can quickly grow huge, especially if we are poking fun at one of the other roommates! Her style is often what I call “hippy grunge”. I don’t think I need to explain that further, do you? She sports a nose-ring as so many young adults do, and to top it all off, on her wrist is a tattoo – Hebrew words that when translated mean “Property of God”.
As far as personality goes, at the onset she might seem a bit rough around the edges – some say she has the gift of sarcasm. But sarcasm has a negativity associated with it that I think is missing in her – perhaps at times you could say she is sardonically humorous! But she also seems to me to be a mixture of pragmatism and . . . you guessed it . . . joy. She seems quite humble to me, with no airs about her, and seems to prefer sharing information, confessing, etc., in a straight-up fashion – no beating around the bush. At 24, she is five to seven years older than the other students, and the other students enjoy her immensely because she is still one of them, but more mature.
Joy’s brother died today. He was 37 years old. Apparently, last night, he went to a party and overdid the partying a bit. So, it is guessed he decided to sleep it off in his car, but the car was running and there was a leak somewhere that lead to his death by carbon monoxide poisoning.
My brother is 41 years old. He also recently decided to sleep it off in his car, but was fortunate enough that the car wasn’t running. He was briefly detained at a local police station, then released, though his friend’s car was impounded.
I have been waiting for the call that my brother has died since he was in his early twenties, yet Joy, who is 20 years younger than me, got the call first. I asked her if her brother knew the Lord – she wasn’t sure. But I’m thinking from the things she has told me and since they are PKs (pastor’s kids), and she said he wasn’t troubled or anything like that, that he did. He may not have been very obedient (I guess I can relate to that), but I’m guessing he knew the Lord.
My brother on the other hand does not know the Lord. He is anti-God, anti-religion, anti-spiritual – just one big “anti”. He is a very troubled individual, with alcoholism and depression being two of his major challenges in life. We all thought he really was on his last legs recently, but God has graced him with yet a little more time, another opportunity, etc., to get to know Him. Much to my astonishment. I should not be surprised, really. God is far more gracious and forgiving than I can even understand. I’ve had my brother in the grave for 20 years, but thankfully, God obviously has had different plans.
Tonight, just as the refrain of my newest favorite worship song says, I sing and pray for Joy to God our strength. Lord, I pray she and her family receive strength and peace from you about her brother’s passing. I pray that you take any part of Joy’s brother’s life that is tragic and turn it into something good. I pray that you use this experience in their lives in a greater way than we can imagine, that this does not just become a “fluke” incident in their lives, but that your impact is felt on the family and all the friends as well, through the upcoming weeks. I pray your protection for Joy as she travels to be with her family. And I thank you for the Joy that has come into my life and shown me just a little bit more of you and your amazing ability to affect the lives of so many different and vital people.
I also pray for my brother, Lord. I thank you for your grace in his life and I pray that you open his heart to receiving the forgiveness and grace he is seeking and needs desperately so that he is not a story of tragedy, but of victory.
Thank you, Lord.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Freedom
We talked about Galatians 5 today. When I read it, I was struck by verses 2, 3 and 4. "Listen! I, Paul, tell you this: If you are counting on circumcision to make you right with God, then Christ will be of no benefit to you. I'll say it again. If you are trying to find favor with God by being circumcised, you must obey every regulation in the whole law of Moses. For if you are trying to make yourselves right with God by keeping the law, you have been cut off from Christ! You have fallen away from God's grace."
You know, I find it so very appealing and attractive that Jesus Christ transforms from within a person. That, if we allow him to work in us, something happens in our heart, mind, body, everything, and results in an amazing change in a person, with new desires and a new purpose. I am not claiming to understand it and I can not even experience it to the extent I would like to. But I've had a taste of the freedom that Jesus Christ paid for, and a taste of the freedom that living with the Holy Spirit within brings. And there is nothing on this earth or anywhere else that I would like more than to experience this in a 24/7 sense -- know what I mean?
I pray for this tonight.
I fall into the trap often of thinking that things I do will gain me entry (or deny me access) to heaven and the presence of God himself. Nothing I do even has an impact -- it is the state of my heart at all times that counts.
Interesting.
You know, I find it so very appealing and attractive that Jesus Christ transforms from within a person. That, if we allow him to work in us, something happens in our heart, mind, body, everything, and results in an amazing change in a person, with new desires and a new purpose. I am not claiming to understand it and I can not even experience it to the extent I would like to. But I've had a taste of the freedom that Jesus Christ paid for, and a taste of the freedom that living with the Holy Spirit within brings. And there is nothing on this earth or anywhere else that I would like more than to experience this in a 24/7 sense -- know what I mean?
I pray for this tonight.
I fall into the trap often of thinking that things I do will gain me entry (or deny me access) to heaven and the presence of God himself. Nothing I do even has an impact -- it is the state of my heart at all times that counts.
Interesting.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
The Eggplant
“Though I have scattered them like seeds among the nations, still they will remember me in distant lands. With their children, they will survive and come home again to Israel.” Zechariah 10:9 (NLT)
The Eggplant
Happy 50th Birthday, Jocelyn!
I’ve decided to give you this little garden stake that my Aunt Carol and Uncle Frannie made several years ago when they were making craft items for local markets. As they no longer make these little gems, you may consider this a “Limited Edition” – just like you yourself are! The similarities are just beginning to emerge.
Did you know that the eggplant is one of the least widely appreciated vegetables in the Western World? – just like you, except you are not a vegetable! (see where the “similarities” thing is going?) Actually, the eggplant is a member of the Deadly Nightshade family and is closely related to the tomato, potato and the pepper. (Hello, “Bob the Tomato!!” – make the connection – hint: husband. This is eerie, isn’t it??)
The popularity of both the tomato and the eggplant was stifled until recently. The tomato was actually believed to be poisonous – but we all know now, that it is actually a cancer preventer! The eggplant, on the other hand, was believed by superstitious Europeans to induce insanity and had the unaffectionate nickname of “Mad Apple” until a few centuries ago. I know you see the similarity, as people are “crazy over you”. J
Anyway, back in its native region of southeast Asia, there was no superstition going on – they were just munching on the eggplants in advance of everyone else. From India and Pakistan it spread to China in about 500 B.C., then into the Middle East. Arabic records of eggplant exist from the 9th, 10th, and 12th centuries, and the Turks are believed to have over 1,000 native recipes calling for eggplant. It is very popular – just like you!
The Moors introduced the eggplant to Spain in the 4th through 7th centuries and by the 16th century, the Spaniards had classified the eggplant as a powerful aphrodisiac and its most affectionate nickname was “Apple of Love”. (Aha, now we are getting somewhere, aren’t we?) Well, unfortunately, the northern Europeans were still convinced that consuming eggplant would induce insanity. [You know those northern Europeans just love to beat an old horse to death!] But many wouldn’t listen to that nonsense and word got out about the tasty eggplant.
The English coined the name “eggplant” and then began referring to them as “Aubergine” [I think the snooty English linguists just liked the sound of Aubergine better, don’t you?] But it was the Spanish who introduced the delicious eggplant to the Americas (Brazil) around 1650. The United States, no doubt concerned about “mad eggplant disease”, would not let them in until 1806, when Thomas Jefferson finally opened up the border. However, it was grown primarily as an ornamental plant until about 50 years ago (notice the significant timing here – “50 years ago”), when its delicious flavour was finally acknowledged widely – just like you!
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, a nursery man named John Baptist (come on, now – this is freaky) had obtained some eggplant seeds from a friend who had spent some time in India and introduced the veggie to Australia in 1850, though it did not become popular until the 1950s. So, even the eggplant is a “God thing” – just like you!
The eggplant comes in a wide array of shapes, sizes, and colours, which makes them an outstanding edible landscape plant. [You thought I was going to say, “just like you!” didn’t you?] So, the eggplant serves many purposes and is both decorative and delicious – just like you!
Jocelyn, I pray that throughout time, people find themselves “crazy in love with the eggplant” – just like me!
Love,
Kathy
The Eggplant
Happy 50th Birthday, Jocelyn!
I’ve decided to give you this little garden stake that my Aunt Carol and Uncle Frannie made several years ago when they were making craft items for local markets. As they no longer make these little gems, you may consider this a “Limited Edition” – just like you yourself are! The similarities are just beginning to emerge.
Did you know that the eggplant is one of the least widely appreciated vegetables in the Western World? – just like you, except you are not a vegetable! (see where the “similarities” thing is going?) Actually, the eggplant is a member of the Deadly Nightshade family and is closely related to the tomato, potato and the pepper. (Hello, “Bob the Tomato!!” – make the connection – hint: husband. This is eerie, isn’t it??)
The popularity of both the tomato and the eggplant was stifled until recently. The tomato was actually believed to be poisonous – but we all know now, that it is actually a cancer preventer! The eggplant, on the other hand, was believed by superstitious Europeans to induce insanity and had the unaffectionate nickname of “Mad Apple” until a few centuries ago. I know you see the similarity, as people are “crazy over you”. J
Anyway, back in its native region of southeast Asia, there was no superstition going on – they were just munching on the eggplants in advance of everyone else. From India and Pakistan it spread to China in about 500 B.C., then into the Middle East. Arabic records of eggplant exist from the 9th, 10th, and 12th centuries, and the Turks are believed to have over 1,000 native recipes calling for eggplant. It is very popular – just like you!
The Moors introduced the eggplant to Spain in the 4th through 7th centuries and by the 16th century, the Spaniards had classified the eggplant as a powerful aphrodisiac and its most affectionate nickname was “Apple of Love”. (Aha, now we are getting somewhere, aren’t we?) Well, unfortunately, the northern Europeans were still convinced that consuming eggplant would induce insanity. [You know those northern Europeans just love to beat an old horse to death!] But many wouldn’t listen to that nonsense and word got out about the tasty eggplant.
The English coined the name “eggplant” and then began referring to them as “Aubergine” [I think the snooty English linguists just liked the sound of Aubergine better, don’t you?] But it was the Spanish who introduced the delicious eggplant to the Americas (Brazil) around 1650. The United States, no doubt concerned about “mad eggplant disease”, would not let them in until 1806, when Thomas Jefferson finally opened up the border. However, it was grown primarily as an ornamental plant until about 50 years ago (notice the significant timing here – “50 years ago”), when its delicious flavour was finally acknowledged widely – just like you!
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, a nursery man named John Baptist (come on, now – this is freaky) had obtained some eggplant seeds from a friend who had spent some time in India and introduced the veggie to Australia in 1850, though it did not become popular until the 1950s. So, even the eggplant is a “God thing” – just like you!
The eggplant comes in a wide array of shapes, sizes, and colours, which makes them an outstanding edible landscape plant. [You thought I was going to say, “just like you!” didn’t you?] So, the eggplant serves many purposes and is both decorative and delicious – just like you!
Jocelyn, I pray that throughout time, people find themselves “crazy in love with the eggplant” – just like me!
Love,
Kathy
Monday, August 29, 2005
Planting In Tears
This morning, I optimistically took a step toward getting into good physical condition once again by actually putting my workout clothes in the car. However, just as usual, I did not make it to any gym.
But I called Linda, my friend who works at Grant MacEwan's Wellness Centre, to see if I could try out the facility (this is only about the 10th time I've called her -- hey, I've been working up to this, you know!). However, she was on a well-deserved holiday to catch her breath before the hectic fall season begins.
I called Jocelyn, my friend who runs when her back feels good, and jokingly told her about my great big step forward this morning. But, when I hung up with her, it seemed not funny anymore. Well, not very funny that is.
I had such good intentions coming up here last year -- somehow my plan was to go to school full-time, volunteer at the church, get in massively good shape, practice the flute and piano, help organize a conference, participate in the Singing Christmas Tree, read, pray, journal, and develop a social life. And so I was quite exhilirated but tired, just thinking about these things!
As usual, the first thing to go was the objective to "get in massively good shape". What is it that is so hard about this one objective (not that I succeeded in all the others -- but I tried)? Anyway, the socializing and church activity resulted in a bit too much caloric intake and far too little output!
So, though I've tried this past year and failed, I am now trying again with an eye toward success. After I talked to Jocelyn earlier tonight, I assessed the workout room where I am housesitting right now and decided it was time to actually utilize it. And so we begin again. I decided to ease into it, put a CD on (Traveler -- funky world club music -- nice for dancing and working out!), and climbed on the treadmill.
Thirty minutes later I climbed down, having jogged 7 minutes out of the 30. I had worked up quite a sweat, so I decided that was enough cardio for day 1!
And then I stretched for another approximately 20 minutes -- gluts, quads, hams, calves (2 reps of 30 on each leg). Followed by just a wee bit of abs work on the exercise ball -- oh, memories of similar pains came back to me so easily!
Anyway, I wondered if this time I would stick with it and what would help me do so or enable me to do so.... habits are soooo hard to break, aren't they?
So, I sought inspiration in my bible, and found it in Psalm 126, verses 5 and 6: "Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest." The tears will be flowing as the pain of once again getting this body into working shape hits, but I know God will reward the work done on his gift to me -- my body.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
What If?
"What if the Lord had not been on our
side?
Let all Israel repeat.
What if the Lord had not been on our
side
when people attacked us?
They would have swallowed us alive
in their burning anger.
The waters would have engulfed us;
a torrent would have overwhelmed us.
Yes, the raging waters of their fury
would have overwhelmed our very lives.
Praise the Lord,
who did not let their teeth tear us apart!
We escaped like a bird from a hunter's trap.
The trap is broken, and we are free!
Our help is from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth."
Psalm 124, New Living Translation
What If?
I don't know about you, but I play "what if?" games all the time. I make a decision, don't get the results I expect or want, and then ask "what if I had done something differently?" or "what if so-and-so would have just got on board?" or "what if I had never done it at all?" and so on and so on and so on.
My past is littered with "what ifs". What if I had completed my degree when all of my friends did instead of 20 years later? What if I had actually listened to advice I was given years ago about my finances? What if I had never smoked? What if I had focused more time developing relationships instead of expending my energy in work, work, working? What if I had really pursued the talents I had in music, in writing, etc., instead of pursuing what I thought would bring in the most money? What if I had spent my time living today instead of worrying endlessly about tomorrow?
These kinds of thoughts have eaten me up over the years. Literally, eaten me up. And my perspective rarely changed. That is, I always looked at myself as a negative outcome of these "what if" questions. In other words, my thoughts went something like this: "If I had completed my degree when all of my friends did, I would be better off today. If I had listened to advice about finances years ago, I would be better off today. If I had never smoked, I would be able to run better today. If I had focused more time developing relationships, I might actually have a family now." Etc. I'm sure you get the idea.
I was well beyond 40 years of age when it occurred to me that it was possible that my circumstances were actually better because of the "what ifs" . The thought process was: "If I had completed my degree when all of my friends did, I might have gone into the totally wrong field, been stuck in a different dead-end job and been unhappier. If I had listened to advice about finances years ago, I could have actually had an even worse situation! If I had never smoked, I might never have been able to relate to people who struggle to give it up as I did." Etc.
I think of some of the tough situations I've been in over the past couple of years, and am grateful to the Lord for being on my side. There were times people would have swallowed me alive, or my circumstances would have engulfed me completely. And tonight I thank the Lord for protecting me and for being there in all of my circumstances -- for soothing me, encouraging me, empowering me, etc. I know that things are not always as they seem. Life can throw some curve balls my way, but Jesus himself has caught them already. All I have to do is say "Thank You" and get up, dust off and move on.
What if I didn't know Jesus?
www.ccci.org/wij/
side?
Let all Israel repeat.
What if the Lord had not been on our
side
when people attacked us?
They would have swallowed us alive
in their burning anger.
The waters would have engulfed us;
a torrent would have overwhelmed us.
Yes, the raging waters of their fury
would have overwhelmed our very lives.
Praise the Lord,
who did not let their teeth tear us apart!
We escaped like a bird from a hunter's trap.
The trap is broken, and we are free!
Our help is from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth."
Psalm 124, New Living Translation
What If?
I don't know about you, but I play "what if?" games all the time. I make a decision, don't get the results I expect or want, and then ask "what if I had done something differently?" or "what if so-and-so would have just got on board?" or "what if I had never done it at all?" and so on and so on and so on.
My past is littered with "what ifs". What if I had completed my degree when all of my friends did instead of 20 years later? What if I had actually listened to advice I was given years ago about my finances? What if I had never smoked? What if I had focused more time developing relationships instead of expending my energy in work, work, working? What if I had really pursued the talents I had in music, in writing, etc., instead of pursuing what I thought would bring in the most money? What if I had spent my time living today instead of worrying endlessly about tomorrow?
These kinds of thoughts have eaten me up over the years. Literally, eaten me up. And my perspective rarely changed. That is, I always looked at myself as a negative outcome of these "what if" questions. In other words, my thoughts went something like this: "If I had completed my degree when all of my friends did, I would be better off today. If I had listened to advice about finances years ago, I would be better off today. If I had never smoked, I would be able to run better today. If I had focused more time developing relationships, I might actually have a family now." Etc. I'm sure you get the idea.
I was well beyond 40 years of age when it occurred to me that it was possible that my circumstances were actually better because of the "what ifs" . The thought process was: "If I had completed my degree when all of my friends did, I might have gone into the totally wrong field, been stuck in a different dead-end job and been unhappier. If I had listened to advice about finances years ago, I could have actually had an even worse situation! If I had never smoked, I might never have been able to relate to people who struggle to give it up as I did." Etc.
I think of some of the tough situations I've been in over the past couple of years, and am grateful to the Lord for being on my side. There were times people would have swallowed me alive, or my circumstances would have engulfed me completely. And tonight I thank the Lord for protecting me and for being there in all of my circumstances -- for soothing me, encouraging me, empowering me, etc. I know that things are not always as they seem. Life can throw some curve balls my way, but Jesus himself has caught them already. All I have to do is say "Thank You" and get up, dust off and move on.
What if I didn't know Jesus?
www.ccci.org/wij/
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Revelation
So, our summer series on Revelation culminated tonight! Mike Voll gave an excellent presentation tonight that kind of wrapped everything up that we studied over the summer. The series was an exploration into the seven letters to the seven churches in the Revelation of Jesus Christ to John, and included books 1 through 5. Tonight was Revelation 4 and 5.
The night began with a listen to Johnny Cash read books 4 and 5. I never heard him speak so clearly and with such excellent enunciation. His voice was beautiful for reading.
These two books are fairly difficult for me. There is a lot of imagery to handle and to explore the meaning of. Mike did an excellent job of helping us see the meaning.
There are two distinct areas of my faith and life that were touched upon tonight. One area is the area of perspective or what I would call the intellectual me. In this area, I was reminded that "things are not as they seem." The meaning of things in my life is formed by my frame of reference. This can be very hard to remember. Also in this area, I was reminded that "the way to fullness is the way of the Lamb." The intellectual me knows these things and understands the perspective. The other me -- I guess you would say the fleshy me -- is having a hard time with these concepts. Note to self: Ask God for perspective in the flesh.
The other area is my image of God. Tonight he was called "eternally contemporary" and constant or unchanging. I love that. Around the throne -- EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is worshipping God. EVERYTHING. Beasts and all! And, He sits already victorious on the throne. He already suffered and conquered all -- sin, evil, temptation, Satan, death -- there is nothing He did not already suffer and conquer because of us, for us and instead of us. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS ACCEPT IT!
The night began with a listen to Johnny Cash read books 4 and 5. I never heard him speak so clearly and with such excellent enunciation. His voice was beautiful for reading.
These two books are fairly difficult for me. There is a lot of imagery to handle and to explore the meaning of. Mike did an excellent job of helping us see the meaning.
There are two distinct areas of my faith and life that were touched upon tonight. One area is the area of perspective or what I would call the intellectual me. In this area, I was reminded that "things are not as they seem." The meaning of things in my life is formed by my frame of reference. This can be very hard to remember. Also in this area, I was reminded that "the way to fullness is the way of the Lamb." The intellectual me knows these things and understands the perspective. The other me -- I guess you would say the fleshy me -- is having a hard time with these concepts. Note to self: Ask God for perspective in the flesh.
The other area is my image of God. Tonight he was called "eternally contemporary" and constant or unchanging. I love that. Around the throne -- EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is worshipping God. EVERYTHING. Beasts and all! And, He sits already victorious on the throne. He already suffered and conquered all -- sin, evil, temptation, Satan, death -- there is nothing He did not already suffer and conquer because of us, for us and instead of us. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS ACCEPT IT!
Monday, August 22, 2005
Paige
I was "exploring" online and ran across a fabulous illustrator -- Paige Pooler is her name. I get a very positive feeling from her drawings and writings and I marvel at how such positive energy comes through in her artwork. Awesome -- check out her blog -- link to the right. Enjoy!
Well, well, well
Why do I struggle so much? What is all this pent up energy? Why won't I just focus up instead of in?! Good grief!
"Lord, I pray again for a humble, grateful heart. I pray that I look to you before using the weapon in my mouth. I pray that I remember exactly how and why I came to be right where I am today, and be grateful for the opportunity to serve you and my church. Please forgive me, Lord, for my failures today. I pray for improvement tomorrow -- I don't see how that can't happen with your hand on my heart. In your name, I pray these things."
"Lord, I pray again for a humble, grateful heart. I pray that I look to you before using the weapon in my mouth. I pray that I remember exactly how and why I came to be right where I am today, and be grateful for the opportunity to serve you and my church. Please forgive me, Lord, for my failures today. I pray for improvement tomorrow -- I don't see how that can't happen with your hand on my heart. In your name, I pray these things."
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Sundays at 10am
Today's sermon was about humility. An elusive quality or characteristic or value indeed. But one to be valued above all others, in my view anyway. Why? I believe that when you are in a mostly constant state of humility (I say mostly, because who among us is perfect), then you are as close to "free" as you can get in this earthly life. I have a great desire to be free.
There are seven ways for me to humble myself:
I will choose to serve others.
I think that even when I do this, I need to choose to serve others HAPPILY.
I will take wrong patiently.
I really do need work in this area. I lack patience.
I will receive gifts, correction, and praise from others graciously.
Viewing these things as from God and for God is the best way to go.
I will purpose to speak well of others.
If I can't say something good about someone, I won't say anything.
I will associate with people who are not like me.
I need to find an avenue to do this.
I will cast my cares and confess my sin to God.
It is embarrassing to say that I have not been good about this. I find that living in a house
with people all around is very restrictive to my prayer life. I like to pray aloud and it is hard
in this world to find a place to be ALONE and private with the Lord. Even working at a
church, it is just hard to find that space where you KNOW you won't be interrupted. I do
what I can in my head, but it is not the same as conversing with God aloud -- for me anyway.
There is nothing like having a conversation with God out loud.
I will cultivate a grateful heart.
It amazes me when I am not grateful. I mean really grateful, not just "Oh thank you Lord"
during worship. I mean really grateful. Not just "Oh Lord, I am so thankful to have fresh
water, food, etc." These are all great, but I mean really grateful. When was the last time
someone chose to die for me? Despite my problems, issues, faults, and sins. It amazes me
how I allow other "stuff" to override this gift so very often. I want a grateful heart.
Thanks to Pastor Bob for a great sermon at Central. One of many.
"Lord, I pray to you tonight to work on my heart this week. I pray that I have a happier heart towards serving others, and that that is evidenced by less "wittiness" or sarcasm that isn't always funny or appropriate. I pray that my desire is evidenced by a greater willingness to sacrifice my own objectives for the greater objectives around me. Please, Lord, help me take whatever wrongs (or perceived wrongs) come my way and look to you before responding or reacting. I pray that I am able to receive whatever comes my way, corrections or praise, with the graciousness that only you can provide. I pray that my tongue be guarded this week, but even more importantly, that I consider you and your example before using it at all. I pray for your insight and wisdom into associating with people not like me. I pray to be reminded often of how grateful I should be. And, Lord, help me find a place to be with you alone -- I miss our conversations."
There are seven ways for me to humble myself:
I will choose to serve others.
I think that even when I do this, I need to choose to serve others HAPPILY.
I will take wrong patiently.
I really do need work in this area. I lack patience.
I will receive gifts, correction, and praise from others graciously.
Viewing these things as from God and for God is the best way to go.
I will purpose to speak well of others.
If I can't say something good about someone, I won't say anything.
I will associate with people who are not like me.
I need to find an avenue to do this.
I will cast my cares and confess my sin to God.
It is embarrassing to say that I have not been good about this. I find that living in a house
with people all around is very restrictive to my prayer life. I like to pray aloud and it is hard
in this world to find a place to be ALONE and private with the Lord. Even working at a
church, it is just hard to find that space where you KNOW you won't be interrupted. I do
what I can in my head, but it is not the same as conversing with God aloud -- for me anyway.
There is nothing like having a conversation with God out loud.
I will cultivate a grateful heart.
It amazes me when I am not grateful. I mean really grateful, not just "Oh thank you Lord"
during worship. I mean really grateful. Not just "Oh Lord, I am so thankful to have fresh
water, food, etc." These are all great, but I mean really grateful. When was the last time
someone chose to die for me? Despite my problems, issues, faults, and sins. It amazes me
how I allow other "stuff" to override this gift so very often. I want a grateful heart.
Thanks to Pastor Bob for a great sermon at Central. One of many.
"Lord, I pray to you tonight to work on my heart this week. I pray that I have a happier heart towards serving others, and that that is evidenced by less "wittiness" or sarcasm that isn't always funny or appropriate. I pray that my desire is evidenced by a greater willingness to sacrifice my own objectives for the greater objectives around me. Please, Lord, help me take whatever wrongs (or perceived wrongs) come my way and look to you before responding or reacting. I pray that I am able to receive whatever comes my way, corrections or praise, with the graciousness that only you can provide. I pray that my tongue be guarded this week, but even more importantly, that I consider you and your example before using it at all. I pray for your insight and wisdom into associating with people not like me. I pray to be reminded often of how grateful I should be. And, Lord, help me find a place to be with you alone -- I miss our conversations."
Friday, August 19, 2005
As The Wind Blows
I chose the title based on the first verse of Scripture I every memorized from Psalm 103. And then, I chose it because it sounds like a good title.
It has been an interesting week. I started a bit of research on Buddha and Jesus -- comparing and contrasting the two, as well as just get a bit of the foundation of Buddhism. It is very interesting stuff and lead to my listening to some talks given by Ravi Zacharias at the following link:
http://www.rzim.org/radio/archives.php?p=LMPT&v=detail&id=24
http://www.rzim.org/radio/archives.php?p=JT&v=detail&id=408
Both of these are one part of a larger series. Anyway, I quite like the intellectual style of Ravi.
This exploration lead to a couple of conversations with people at my church and I enjoyed these dialogues tremendously. These conversations reminded me of some fairly intense Bible studies I had been to in the past and I realize that I miss the deep (at least for me) exploration of the Bible that I enjoyed before.
However, in the midst of this week, we also read Psalm 103 -- a favorite for me, as it contains the first Scripture I ever memorized:
"The wind blows
and we are gone--
As though we had never been here."
Psalm 103:16
And I must say, as I travel down the path of exploring the meaning of the bible through discourse with other Christians, and by researching and listening to others' viewpoints, I had better be pretty careful, because "the wind blows and we are gone--as though we had never been here." Time is very, very short. To seek the truth is a priority, but I know my tendency to seek a good argument. Hmmm...
Anyway, very interesting week.....
It has been an interesting week. I started a bit of research on Buddha and Jesus -- comparing and contrasting the two, as well as just get a bit of the foundation of Buddhism. It is very interesting stuff and lead to my listening to some talks given by Ravi Zacharias at the following link:
http://www.rzim.org/radio/archives.php?p=LMPT&v=detail&id=24
http://www.rzim.org/radio/archives.php?p=JT&v=detail&id=408
Both of these are one part of a larger series. Anyway, I quite like the intellectual style of Ravi.
This exploration lead to a couple of conversations with people at my church and I enjoyed these dialogues tremendously. These conversations reminded me of some fairly intense Bible studies I had been to in the past and I realize that I miss the deep (at least for me) exploration of the Bible that I enjoyed before.
However, in the midst of this week, we also read Psalm 103 -- a favorite for me, as it contains the first Scripture I ever memorized:
"The wind blows
and we are gone--
As though we had never been here."
Psalm 103:16
And I must say, as I travel down the path of exploring the meaning of the bible through discourse with other Christians, and by researching and listening to others' viewpoints, I had better be pretty careful, because "the wind blows and we are gone--as though we had never been here." Time is very, very short. To seek the truth is a priority, but I know my tendency to seek a good argument. Hmmm...
Anyway, very interesting week.....
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Brother
The news hit hard, though there was no surprise. He's in trouble again. My heart just does not know what to do with this information, except hurt.
He was at rock bottom at this time last year. In a halfway house, he elected to go to jail instead to get his sentence over with more quickly. There were opportunities. The judge wanted to put him in a program that the judge himself is involved in and work on getting him straightened out, but he could not somehow stand the routine.
He has been an alcoholic for most of his life, and the sentence he was serving was for a D.U.I. offense quite a number of years ago. He has never been far away from a bottle of some sort. A few months at most, and those months were forced upon him (i.e., jail terms).
After serving his time this last time around, he went to a VA centre (he is a veteran, having served about 3 years in his late teens / early twenties). The VA centre helped him, but he lived in a part of Detroit (I believe it was Cass Corridor) that you should experience only if you want to experience what it is like to be in a place that is drug infested, alcohol ridden, and crime friendly. The only time I've ever been there is by mistake, and just driving in it send cold chills up and down a person's spine. And if you are sensitive to despair, it will make you feel as if your heart is being squeezed and tears are flowing out of it. Overwhelming despair.
He was tested for disabilities. He was told that he should get his knee reoperated on -- the military had "botched" it pretty badly the first time around, from which he still receives disability allowances. With his history and physical condition, it was obviously hard to find a real job. He has never been able to hang on to them for very long. But, my mother's brother had an idea. One of his sons had similar problems, though resolved them at a much younger age. What helped him resolve them was the Merchant Marines.
The Merchant Marine is a fascinating organization that is civilian except in times of war. A private fleet of ships in the U.S. hires Merchant Marines for their services on these ships -- any kind of services actually. The organizations motto on one page I saw is "no bull, no bias, no pressure". They will take a person that has seen quite a bit of trouble and give them a chance. No matter your history, it seems, you can work your way up in their organization. Obviously, a military history helps place you in the organization.
I haven't seen my brother in a year, but I wondered what steps had been taken to help him when the temptation of the bottle and the self-destructive behavior would raise its ugly head again. With 25 years of the same patterned behavior, what was going to keep him from the exact same responses to his situations this time? Apparently nothing.
On a leave recently, he borrowed a shipmate's car for a weekend "to go up north" to visit friends. He did not show up at work when he was supposed to, did not return the car, and was found "sleeping it off" in the car in the Cass Corridor area, I believe, several days after he was supposed to report to work. They took him in, let him go, but impounded the vehicle. His shipmate had to bail it out so to speak. My brother very likely will lose his job.
I've been praying for my brother. We've talked about God. I've sent him information about God. The level of his resistance has been quite high. I am quite powerless in my own right to help my brother. And so I pray as I have prayed before.
"Lord, I love you. I am your servant -- no better than my brother, but with the saving knowledge of your sacrifice for me. Thank you, Lord, for forgiving my sins, though I know they have grieved you. I know of no better way to thank you than to pray to you tonight on behalf of my brother. Lord, I pray that somehow the seeds that have been planted with him over the years (I heard one story that he thought he was born again as a small child), take root. I pray that he turns to you in his despair and that he sees your face. Lord, what is impossible for any of us to do is possible with you. Is there a merchant marine who can share you with him? Can I do anything more? I pray that someone runs across his path that will get him to seek after you, Lord. I know that is the only way he will overcome - a direct connection with you. I pray he becomes of testimony of your love, Lord, as truly it would be thought of as a miracle for his life to be turned around. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Philadelphia
The first time I read the book of Revelation -- the Revelation of Jesus Christ -- I thought that my church fit the Philadelphia model. I really did. The second time, I thought the same thing, and nothing has changed my mind to date. Tonight at our Word on Wednesday summer bible study, that comparison was made by another, so I feel like a sort of confirmation occurred.
My church, Central Tabernacle in Edmonton, Alberta, has gone through five years of some trials and tribulations, really, with the planning and implementation of a move to the northwest corner of the City of Edmonton. As is common in this type of situation, some doubts snuck in to the church. Why was it taking so long to sell the property? It is soooooooooo hard to persevere in some circumstances, that is for sure. And there is a very real enemy that just loves to sow and then feed on doubt -- oh, when I think about it, I just wish we could all be like the portrayal of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane from Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" and STOMP on that snake. I know how much I wish I was more like Jesus in this regard.
Anyway, Philadelphia persevered, and so have we, though our struggle is not over. The lesson tonight was that perseverance may mean not playing it safe when troubles come on. That is not a time to lay back and play it safe, but to be bolder for Christ.
My prayer for my church tonight is that we don't play it safe. I pray we don't become in any complacent, but instead become eager for more. The Lord has blessed our move in a BIG way, and walking with the Lord is FUN and exciting. I pray that we make the most of the opportunity we have to come into a relatively newly developed area of the city and invite our neighbors with our faith and our love to become a part of our family. I pray that we are sensitive to those needing and seeking God and that we understand that there are no mistakes -- people in our church, in our lives, in our sphere of influence are there for a reason. I pray we are as forgiving as we have been forgiven. I pray that people all over this new community come to experience the love that I and many others have been shown at Central.
My church, Central Tabernacle in Edmonton, Alberta, has gone through five years of some trials and tribulations, really, with the planning and implementation of a move to the northwest corner of the City of Edmonton. As is common in this type of situation, some doubts snuck in to the church. Why was it taking so long to sell the property? It is soooooooooo hard to persevere in some circumstances, that is for sure. And there is a very real enemy that just loves to sow and then feed on doubt -- oh, when I think about it, I just wish we could all be like the portrayal of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane from Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" and STOMP on that snake. I know how much I wish I was more like Jesus in this regard.
Anyway, Philadelphia persevered, and so have we, though our struggle is not over. The lesson tonight was that perseverance may mean not playing it safe when troubles come on. That is not a time to lay back and play it safe, but to be bolder for Christ.
My prayer for my church tonight is that we don't play it safe. I pray we don't become in any complacent, but instead become eager for more. The Lord has blessed our move in a BIG way, and walking with the Lord is FUN and exciting. I pray that we make the most of the opportunity we have to come into a relatively newly developed area of the city and invite our neighbors with our faith and our love to become a part of our family. I pray that we are sensitive to those needing and seeking God and that we understand that there are no mistakes -- people in our church, in our lives, in our sphere of influence are there for a reason. I pray we are as forgiving as we have been forgiven. I pray that people all over this new community come to experience the love that I and many others have been shown at Central.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
2EKO
“My life is an example to many,
Because you have been my strength and
protection.
That is why I can never stop praising you;
I declare your glory all day long.”
Psalm 71:7-8 (New Living Translation)
2EKO
If you yelled those number and letters out just like that when our group of World Masters competitors were hanging out or practicing, one of my friends would turn to you and wonder why you called out his name. His name is really spelled Thuy Cao, but coming from Vietnam, when people had trouble pronouncing his name here, he told them to just say “2 E” and that would do! I think it is very convenient as well that we pronounce his last name “K O”. He is the only person I know whose name may be pronounced by saying one number and three letters.
Thuy has meant a lot to me over the past year and a half really. I first met him when I came up to see the Singing Christmas Tree in December 2003. He was an usher and when he introduced himself to me, he told me that just the previous day he had said he wished I was there for the Tree, and then I was there! He made me feel very special and welcomed in this place for sure. I have since found out that that is the kind of thing that happens often at The Singing Christmas Tree at Central Tabernacle.
The following year, I returned for April, May and June. In June, the church had a tennis event, and I got the chance to play tennis with Thuy. I found out he is a fantastic tennis player. He has very smooth strokes and a mind for the game – that is, he combines skill and strategy and he does not get flustered or frustrated easily.
When I moved here, Thuy and his family were kind enough to invite me out to lunch to Chinatown in Edmonton. I was very excited – one of my best friends while growing up was Vietnamese, and I quite enjoyed the cuisine she and her sisters prepared. So, we went to lunch and continue doing so every so often.
Thuy played on the World Masters Team from the church – his sport of choice was badminton. However, he played tennis in the winter league to help get the tennis players trained up. We live in the same part of the city, so we rode together on Saturday mornings (at least while I was going). We would stop at Tim Horton’s on the way to get a warming coffee on those freezing winter mornings, and we would sip our coffees and commiserate about the cold as we drove over in the early darkness to the University of Alberta’s Saville Sports Centre to play.
We learned a lot about each other’s families – like me, Thuy is the only Christian in his immediate family. He is not considered the “successful” one in his family – rather, I gather his siblings are all quite successful in their careers though their relationships suffer. Thuy on the other hand is quite successful in his relationships, including his relationship with Jesus Christ.
Thuy spoke at the church on Father’s Day – you can hear him at: http://www.centraltab.ab.ca/sermons/ , select June 19, 2005. Thuy, his wife Kris, children Amanda and Jordan, and I went to lunch afterwards, and talked a long time about our relationships with our fathers. Thuy told me how his father had decided to attend a wedding out of town during the time of the World Masters Games, and so he would not see Thuy play. It was apparent to me that Thuy would have liked his father to see him play.
Regardless, Thuy kept training for his badminton as well as training those competing in the tennis event. The World Masters Games began sometime around July 20. I saw Thuy play mixed doubles badminton early on in the week-long event. He and his partner lost to a well-seasoned New Zealand team in this more of a warm-up team event.
Despite his own demanding badminton schedule, Thuy came out and watched the tennis players play their matches. He watched and cheered with the rest of us as we watched our teammates duke it out on the courts. In the meantime, he had some tough matches lined up. I watched him play doubles with his brother later in the week – his brother pulled a muscle in his leg, so Thuy had to work pretty hard in the match. They had won previous rounds, and the match I saw did not really count. They lost the match but were still in medal contention.
Thuy played a bit of singles, too, but I never got to see that. I remember talking to him the day before a full day of singles play on his part and I asked him about how it was all going. He said he just wanted to see his brother win a medal, and so he was really fighting for the doubles medals. After that day of singles in which he played in two divisions for medal positions, he came out to a tennis match and sat next to me. I asked him how he did. “Not good,” is what I heard come back in a solemn voice. He had lost three matches that day. I glanced over at him and thought I saw a tear or two well up in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
I thought of all of the emotion that goes through a person that is expecting to win matches and medals, and then . . . they lose. I thought of the people on the courts who had support groups around them – parents, wives, siblings, children, and how fortunate they were to have that. I thought of the participants that had time in their lives to actually significantly improve their game – perhaps more flexible jobs, flexible schedules, or perhaps lives less committed to church, kids, family and friends, so they could play more than once a week on a Saturday morning on a regular basis.
But you know, the World Masters Games is not about who can prepare the most for their event or who can invest the most money in their equipment or who has the most fans or anything like that. The World Masters is an arena where the everyday man or woman can take their athletic skill at any given point in their life and test it against others with the same passion for their sport. It is a place where we can get in tune with our bodies, put our hearts into our sport, and focus our minds, in the hopes of being at our best, no matter what happens. It is also a place to develop relationships with teammates, opponents, bystanders, officials, and any others who may cross our paths and wonder what it is like to compete for a World Masters medal.
Thuy, who had every reason to expect one, came away from the games without a World Masters medal. He did everything right – he trained as much as he could, he ate well, he slept well, he encouraged his teammates both in badminton and tennis, his wife, kids and friends were encouraging him, his body, heart and mind were all in good form.
So, why did he lose?
He didn’t.
Thuy is very fortunate. He recognizes our Father who has trained him well, who is at all of Thuy’s matches, who is his leader and a constant participant in his life, who fosters his heart, who demonstrates his approval, and who loves him no matter what.
Thuy’s kids are very fortunate, too. They have a father who will teach them about our Father, who will train them in their sport and in life, who will be at their matches, who will participate in their lives, who will foster their hearts, who will demonstrate his approval, and who will love them no matter what.
2EKO - #1
Friday, August 05, 2005
World Masters
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Saul replied. “There’s no way you can fight this Philistine and possibly win! You’re only a boy, and he’s been a man of war since his youth.”
1 Samuel 17:33 (New Living Translation)
The World Masters
I was on a team earlier this year. A great team in fact. I was on a team of ten to twelve athletes planning to compete in the 2005 World Masters Games in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. We all live in Edmonton and recognized this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to participate in a worldwide event hosted in our hometown.
There were several sports being entered into by our teammates – badminton, decathlon, golf, soccer, tennis, track and field, and triathlon. I was involved in tennis, at least for a while.
We began intensely (for us) training in January by participating in a sort of round-robin league every Saturday morning from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. It was a great way to spend Saturday mornings during the cold Edmonton winter months. After just a couple of practices, my right knee experienced a significant enough problem that I knew I’d not be able to play for a while, and not seriously until my weight is significantly reduced. So I withdrew from competing in The Games.
But I was not inclined to withdraw from the team. The people on our team were training for a significant event in their lives and were willing to commit time, resources and effort, to put forth their best and compete with other recreational athletes from around the globe. And just being around them was inspiring and motivating. Added to that, I thought I might bring some experience to bear given a past of some teaching, coaching and playing the game of tennis.
So, I hung with the team. Some time was focused on learning how to stretch and on learning exercises specifically helpful for those in racquet sports. A ball machine and a tennis lesson came in handy. The members of this team were willing to stretch themselves in a variety of ways to improve their performance and increase their capabilities in their sport(s). Their heart for the game of tennis and for The World Masters Games was beginning to grow and to show.
After all the work and all the training, it was finally time to compete. Here is where the rubber meets the road for sure – competition. The stakes were high: coveted medals of gold, silver and bronze.
I ate lunch with one of the doubles teams (Bob Jones and Bruce Neuman, a.k.a. B&B, a.k.a. B-squared) one day early on in the tournament, and much to my surprise, learned that they had never played an official tennis tournament. That is quite amazing in my view. I am quite sure that if I was a 45- to 50-year-old athlete entering my first tennis tournament, it would not be in the World Masters Games! Their courage and, well, their audacity, touched my heart – I knew I was sitting with two winners.
Sure enough, B&B ended up competing for a bronze medal in the 30- to 39- year old category for doubles. In their first match, they worked very hard to prevail over a team they had played all year in the Saturday morning league – in fact, they were two of our own team members. Calculated strategy and persistence won out over the youthful exuberance of their competitors, but the fight was a valiant one.
In the next round, B&B actually had to play against the brother-in-law of another of our teammates who was competing in badminton. Early in the match, we saw Bob get injured as he stretched to return a ball. They split sets, and then in the third set, got an early lead of 4-0. We could see they were quite weary, though, and we ached for them as they dropped the next two games to bring the score to 4-2. But, we were needlessly empathetic as they dug deep and won the next two games to take the match with a 6-2 score in the third set.
That match lasted about 2½ hours and was one of the finest examples I have seen of determination. Afterwards, while B&B were showering and nursing their injuries and/or sore muscles, we spoke to some Australian players that had been playing on a neighboring court, and they said they followed B&B’s match and were “so glad to see the redbacks win!” Injured and older (by 15 or 20 years) than their opponents, B&B were definitely the underdogs in this match – and most people really can relate to being the underdog at one time or another.
The win put them in the semi-finals against the predicted winners of the tournament. Their opponents were seasoned tournament players and though B&B won two games, they had played quite a few matches in other divisions as well, and injuries and fatigue were taking their toll. So, they were fairly handily beaten by two quite a bit younger and less weary opponents.
That put them in the 3rd place / 4th place playoff for the bronze medal. They played a team that had also had a very good tournament, and had suffered less injuries and most likely played less matches. It was a good match, although B&B took 4th place.
How do you tell a team how much you appreciated their efforts? How do you tell them how much it means to support a team that is willing to play with all their heart, even when they are not expected to win and are the underdogs in all of their matches?
How many times did God back the underdogs? How many battles were won “against the odds” with God’s support? There are so many examples in the Bible of people emerging triumphant when it would seem there was no hope. Why? I believe that God looks for those against whom the odds are stacked and reveals himself in those circumstances, so that you and I begin to see how all things are possible with Him. He knows when we are digging deep and he fortifies us in many different ways so we keep playing the game.
Who do you choose to be? The one the world favored – Goliath? Or the underdog – David? David may not have won every battle he faced, but he dug deep and God was there -- every time -- to encourage him to become a World Masters Champion.
1 Samuel 17:33 (New Living Translation)
The World Masters
I was on a team earlier this year. A great team in fact. I was on a team of ten to twelve athletes planning to compete in the 2005 World Masters Games in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. We all live in Edmonton and recognized this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to participate in a worldwide event hosted in our hometown.
There were several sports being entered into by our teammates – badminton, decathlon, golf, soccer, tennis, track and field, and triathlon. I was involved in tennis, at least for a while.
We began intensely (for us) training in January by participating in a sort of round-robin league every Saturday morning from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. It was a great way to spend Saturday mornings during the cold Edmonton winter months. After just a couple of practices, my right knee experienced a significant enough problem that I knew I’d not be able to play for a while, and not seriously until my weight is significantly reduced. So I withdrew from competing in The Games.
But I was not inclined to withdraw from the team. The people on our team were training for a significant event in their lives and were willing to commit time, resources and effort, to put forth their best and compete with other recreational athletes from around the globe. And just being around them was inspiring and motivating. Added to that, I thought I might bring some experience to bear given a past of some teaching, coaching and playing the game of tennis.
So, I hung with the team. Some time was focused on learning how to stretch and on learning exercises specifically helpful for those in racquet sports. A ball machine and a tennis lesson came in handy. The members of this team were willing to stretch themselves in a variety of ways to improve their performance and increase their capabilities in their sport(s). Their heart for the game of tennis and for The World Masters Games was beginning to grow and to show.
After all the work and all the training, it was finally time to compete. Here is where the rubber meets the road for sure – competition. The stakes were high: coveted medals of gold, silver and bronze.
I ate lunch with one of the doubles teams (Bob Jones and Bruce Neuman, a.k.a. B&B, a.k.a. B-squared) one day early on in the tournament, and much to my surprise, learned that they had never played an official tennis tournament. That is quite amazing in my view. I am quite sure that if I was a 45- to 50-year-old athlete entering my first tennis tournament, it would not be in the World Masters Games! Their courage and, well, their audacity, touched my heart – I knew I was sitting with two winners.
Sure enough, B&B ended up competing for a bronze medal in the 30- to 39- year old category for doubles. In their first match, they worked very hard to prevail over a team they had played all year in the Saturday morning league – in fact, they were two of our own team members. Calculated strategy and persistence won out over the youthful exuberance of their competitors, but the fight was a valiant one.
In the next round, B&B actually had to play against the brother-in-law of another of our teammates who was competing in badminton. Early in the match, we saw Bob get injured as he stretched to return a ball. They split sets, and then in the third set, got an early lead of 4-0. We could see they were quite weary, though, and we ached for them as they dropped the next two games to bring the score to 4-2. But, we were needlessly empathetic as they dug deep and won the next two games to take the match with a 6-2 score in the third set.
That match lasted about 2½ hours and was one of the finest examples I have seen of determination. Afterwards, while B&B were showering and nursing their injuries and/or sore muscles, we spoke to some Australian players that had been playing on a neighboring court, and they said they followed B&B’s match and were “so glad to see the redbacks win!” Injured and older (by 15 or 20 years) than their opponents, B&B were definitely the underdogs in this match – and most people really can relate to being the underdog at one time or another.
The win put them in the semi-finals against the predicted winners of the tournament. Their opponents were seasoned tournament players and though B&B won two games, they had played quite a few matches in other divisions as well, and injuries and fatigue were taking their toll. So, they were fairly handily beaten by two quite a bit younger and less weary opponents.
That put them in the 3rd place / 4th place playoff for the bronze medal. They played a team that had also had a very good tournament, and had suffered less injuries and most likely played less matches. It was a good match, although B&B took 4th place.
How do you tell a team how much you appreciated their efforts? How do you tell them how much it means to support a team that is willing to play with all their heart, even when they are not expected to win and are the underdogs in all of their matches?
How many times did God back the underdogs? How many battles were won “against the odds” with God’s support? There are so many examples in the Bible of people emerging triumphant when it would seem there was no hope. Why? I believe that God looks for those against whom the odds are stacked and reveals himself in those circumstances, so that you and I begin to see how all things are possible with Him. He knows when we are digging deep and he fortifies us in many different ways so we keep playing the game.
Who do you choose to be? The one the world favored – Goliath? Or the underdog – David? David may not have won every battle he faced, but he dug deep and God was there -- every time -- to encourage him to become a World Masters Champion.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Garbage
Shamed, my heart hurts.
Why is it so hard?
Cleaning up old garbage
That should have been
Cleaned up long ago.
Too many things grabbing
focus, focus, focus.
No time to be found
For good reason -
Time must be made.
God makes the time to
Take garbage in and
Purify it.
Why is it so hard?
Cleaning up old garbage
That should have been
Cleaned up long ago.
Too many things grabbing
focus, focus, focus.
No time to be found
For good reason -
Time must be made.
God makes the time to
Take garbage in and
Purify it.
Monday, July 25, 2005
I Miss You
I miss you.
I miss your clarity.
I miss your counsel.
I miss your wisdom.
I miss you.
I miss your candor.
I miss your wit.
I miss your perspective.
I miss you.
I miss your confidence.
I miss your goofiness.
I miss your joy.
I miss you.
I miss your fairness.
I miss your passion.
I miss your being.
I miss you.
I miss your clarity.
I miss your counsel.
I miss your wisdom.
I miss you.
I miss your candor.
I miss your wit.
I miss your perspective.
I miss you.
I miss your confidence.
I miss your goofiness.
I miss your joy.
I miss you.
I miss your fairness.
I miss your passion.
I miss your being.
I miss you.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Alas
Today my folks left. I did not anticipate that this would be an emotional event for me, but it was. And I have no idea why, really.
Friday, they took off by themselves for a bit, went to the public library and a museum. We met up around dinner time and went to Steve and Patty Hertzog's house for a barbecue with the Hertzog's, Patty's friends Judy and Sue from Montreal. I so enjoyed meeting these friends, and I know my parents had a good time as well.
Then, more friends from Montreal came in -- Diane and Carol -- and about 10 other people showed up, too (Kevin, Sharon -- I think -- their kids and their kids friends). Whew! A packed house! It was great! Like having ready-made family available.
The stories were great, the laughter, fellowship and dinner were great as well.
This morning, back on the north side, we woke up, got ready and headed out for breakfast at Sam's (97th Street and 137th Avenue). But before we left, we met a very nice, interesting and funny man, Art -- Erica's brother-in-law. We had a fabulous time chatting with him and then took off for breakfast. Breakfast was great. And then I was dropped off as my folks took off for the airport for their return flight.
Just as their flights out were chaotic, so were their flights back to Detroit. They were scheduled to get in around 11:00, and instead got in after 1:00 a.m. High winds and storms in Denver, as well as a major malfunction on one plane, lead to the delay. Further, they received none of their luggage on arrival!
Lord, I thank you for my parents safe flights out here a week ago, their safety in driving around this city of crazy driving, and their safe flights home. I thank you, Lord, for bringing them here this summer, for the good friends who treated them so well, for a roof to put over their heads, for new friends met. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to share a grace-filled church with my parents, even though they never actually made a service. I thank you for friends filled with love for you and their desire to share that love with others. I pray that the experiences my parents had in Edmonton impact their lives in a positive manner and that they return again for more. Thank you, Lord.
Friday, they took off by themselves for a bit, went to the public library and a museum. We met up around dinner time and went to Steve and Patty Hertzog's house for a barbecue with the Hertzog's, Patty's friends Judy and Sue from Montreal. I so enjoyed meeting these friends, and I know my parents had a good time as well.
Then, more friends from Montreal came in -- Diane and Carol -- and about 10 other people showed up, too (Kevin, Sharon -- I think -- their kids and their kids friends). Whew! A packed house! It was great! Like having ready-made family available.
The stories were great, the laughter, fellowship and dinner were great as well.
This morning, back on the north side, we woke up, got ready and headed out for breakfast at Sam's (97th Street and 137th Avenue). But before we left, we met a very nice, interesting and funny man, Art -- Erica's brother-in-law. We had a fabulous time chatting with him and then took off for breakfast. Breakfast was great. And then I was dropped off as my folks took off for the airport for their return flight.
Just as their flights out were chaotic, so were their flights back to Detroit. They were scheduled to get in around 11:00, and instead got in after 1:00 a.m. High winds and storms in Denver, as well as a major malfunction on one plane, lead to the delay. Further, they received none of their luggage on arrival!
Lord, I thank you for my parents safe flights out here a week ago, their safety in driving around this city of crazy driving, and their safe flights home. I thank you, Lord, for bringing them here this summer, for the good friends who treated them so well, for a roof to put over their heads, for new friends met. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to share a grace-filled church with my parents, even though they never actually made a service. I thank you for friends filled with love for you and their desire to share that love with others. I pray that the experiences my parents had in Edmonton impact their lives in a positive manner and that they return again for more. Thank you, Lord.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Scrabble and Golf
Not everyone would know that these two things are very complementary -- especially when we are talking about the card game of Golf!!
Tonight we played Scrabble and Golf -- me, Patty, and my folks, that is! But let me back up and recap this week with my folks.
Firstly, they were not able to come in on Saturday night as planned (flight delays in Detroit due to flooding. So, they arrived at about 5:00 p.m. on Sunday. This, after further delays in Chicago due to steering problems on the plane. As they were unpacking their luggage from the trunk of their rental car, they realized they had left some luggage on the conveyer belt at the airport. We called the airport, but they would not let us know if it was there or anything like that -- they insisted we must come to the airport. We decided to pick it up the following day on the way to the mountains.
In the meantime, we had a barbeque to get to on Sunday evening. My pastor and his wife -- Bob and Joce Jones, and some of my bible study group --Tim and Kathy Fowler, Cliff and Harriett Hastman, Steve Hertzog, Carla Hillestad, Jim and Joanne Lantz, Jim and Suzanne Stoddart, all convened at Randy and Arlene James' house for a great chicken barbeque dinner including . . . well, you guessed it -- barbequed chicken, many salads, a delightful rhubarb crisp, coffee and all accoutrements. The fellowship was phenomenal, my parents were welcomed to Edmonton, and I believe a good time was had by all.
We took off for the mountains the following morning, but first our stop at the airport for the left luggage. That took quite some time, but we finally headed south to Banff (we stayed in Canmore actually). After a good night's rest, we drove from Banff to Jasper, stopping at Lake Louise for pics and at Athabasca Falls for a hike and some pics. Our first stop was at Lake Louise, where we realized that Dad had left his glasses and jacket in Canmore, so we had to go back and retrieve those, but it was no big deal at all -- what better place to spend some extra time driving around???
So, then it was on to Athabasca -- just before we reached Athabasca Falls, I saw the mountain God used to call me. Somewhere around Wabosso (I think) or something like that.
Then we drove through Jasper and ended up at Pocahontas Cabins at about 8:30 p.m. Ate dinner and retired for a game of Scrabble about 10:00 p.m. It was a very, very restful night -- all that mountain air, you know! The next morning we got up, drove in to Jasper, had breakfast at a little cafe (it was a FABULOUS breakfast by the way) by the Shell station on the west side of town. Their cinnamon buns are out of this world for sure! Check them out.
So, we drove back to Edmonton and arrived about 3:00 or so. I went to Bible Study, my folks did some toodling about. We met up with some more people at the Oliver Square Tim Hortons -- met Wayne Graham, Rick and Laurie Harrison, Ron and Charlene Korzan, Rod and Brenda Peake, in addition to others they had already met on Sunday night. (By this time, little did they know, they met most of the Board of the church.)
Today, after catching breakfast at Sam's -- a restaurant highly recommended by Erica -- they went to Fort Edmonton for the day, then I cooked them a dinner of chicken, potatoes w/onion soup, brussell sprouts and cottage cheese.
Then, Patty Hertzog came over and played Scrabble and Golf with us. We had a fabulous evening of games, comparing weather notes, catching up, and just general fun.
So far, so good . . .
Tonight we played Scrabble and Golf -- me, Patty, and my folks, that is! But let me back up and recap this week with my folks.
Firstly, they were not able to come in on Saturday night as planned (flight delays in Detroit due to flooding. So, they arrived at about 5:00 p.m. on Sunday. This, after further delays in Chicago due to steering problems on the plane. As they were unpacking their luggage from the trunk of their rental car, they realized they had left some luggage on the conveyer belt at the airport. We called the airport, but they would not let us know if it was there or anything like that -- they insisted we must come to the airport. We decided to pick it up the following day on the way to the mountains.
In the meantime, we had a barbeque to get to on Sunday evening. My pastor and his wife -- Bob and Joce Jones, and some of my bible study group --Tim and Kathy Fowler, Cliff and Harriett Hastman, Steve Hertzog, Carla Hillestad, Jim and Joanne Lantz, Jim and Suzanne Stoddart, all convened at Randy and Arlene James' house for a great chicken barbeque dinner including . . . well, you guessed it -- barbequed chicken, many salads, a delightful rhubarb crisp, coffee and all accoutrements. The fellowship was phenomenal, my parents were welcomed to Edmonton, and I believe a good time was had by all.
We took off for the mountains the following morning, but first our stop at the airport for the left luggage. That took quite some time, but we finally headed south to Banff (we stayed in Canmore actually). After a good night's rest, we drove from Banff to Jasper, stopping at Lake Louise for pics and at Athabasca Falls for a hike and some pics. Our first stop was at Lake Louise, where we realized that Dad had left his glasses and jacket in Canmore, so we had to go back and retrieve those, but it was no big deal at all -- what better place to spend some extra time driving around???
So, then it was on to Athabasca -- just before we reached Athabasca Falls, I saw the mountain God used to call me. Somewhere around Wabosso (I think) or something like that.
Then we drove through Jasper and ended up at Pocahontas Cabins at about 8:30 p.m. Ate dinner and retired for a game of Scrabble about 10:00 p.m. It was a very, very restful night -- all that mountain air, you know! The next morning we got up, drove in to Jasper, had breakfast at a little cafe (it was a FABULOUS breakfast by the way) by the Shell station on the west side of town. Their cinnamon buns are out of this world for sure! Check them out.
So, we drove back to Edmonton and arrived about 3:00 or so. I went to Bible Study, my folks did some toodling about. We met up with some more people at the Oliver Square Tim Hortons -- met Wayne Graham, Rick and Laurie Harrison, Ron and Charlene Korzan, Rod and Brenda Peake, in addition to others they had already met on Sunday night. (By this time, little did they know, they met most of the Board of the church.)
Today, after catching breakfast at Sam's -- a restaurant highly recommended by Erica -- they went to Fort Edmonton for the day, then I cooked them a dinner of chicken, potatoes w/onion soup, brussell sprouts and cottage cheese.
Then, Patty Hertzog came over and played Scrabble and Golf with us. We had a fabulous evening of games, comparing weather notes, catching up, and just general fun.
So far, so good . . .
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Sunday, July 17, 2005
The Eagle Has Landed
I am sure they wish they were eagles! After finally getting out of rainy Detroit, after a delay of a plane that was due to "steering problems", after leaving a piece of luggage at Edmonton International, they arrived.
My bible study had a barbeque tonight and my folks loved every minute of it. I don't know what they thought a group of Christians would be like, but I imagine they were surprised.
They are all tucked into bed now and we head for the mountains tomorrow.
My bible study had a barbeque tonight and my folks loved every minute of it. I don't know what they thought a group of Christians would be like, but I imagine they were surprised.
They are all tucked into bed now and we head for the mountains tomorrow.
Sunday
Wow. It seems like a long time since I posted to this blog!
My folks just landed at Edmonton International Airport and called me from the rental car company. They are on their way to my house. They were supposed to come in yesterday, which I was really looking forward to, but with torrential, record-breaking rains in Detroit, the flight was not viable. So, they are here today.
I am praying that this week is a very good week for all of us; that they see the something special in my church family that I see. That they feel embraced and welcomed here. That they get some relaxation and feel the awesomeness of the mountains early in the week.
Pastor Bob gave an awesome sermon today -- he is on his game for sure. He spoke of Lori Lorence, who is just an awesome testimony of the the love of Jesus Christ. If you care to check it out, you may at:
http://www.centraltab.ab.ca/sermons/index.htm
Just choose whichever media you have available (WindowsMedia or RealPlayer) for the 07/17/2005 sermon. You won't regret it.
We are heading off for Banff tomorrow morning and won't be back until Wednesday evening sometime, after also visiting Jasper. It will be a great time for sure and I look forward to spending this time with my parents.
My folks just landed at Edmonton International Airport and called me from the rental car company. They are on their way to my house. They were supposed to come in yesterday, which I was really looking forward to, but with torrential, record-breaking rains in Detroit, the flight was not viable. So, they are here today.
I am praying that this week is a very good week for all of us; that they see the something special in my church family that I see. That they feel embraced and welcomed here. That they get some relaxation and feel the awesomeness of the mountains early in the week.
Pastor Bob gave an awesome sermon today -- he is on his game for sure. He spoke of Lori Lorence, who is just an awesome testimony of the the love of Jesus Christ. If you care to check it out, you may at:
http://www.centraltab.ab.ca/sermons/index.htm
Just choose whichever media you have available (WindowsMedia or RealPlayer) for the 07/17/2005 sermon. You won't regret it.
We are heading off for Banff tomorrow morning and won't be back until Wednesday evening sometime, after also visiting Jasper. It will be a great time for sure and I look forward to spending this time with my parents.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Madison
I met a young girl tonight -- her name is Madison. I would guess she is maybe 5 or 6 years old, and she is as cute as a button! Cuter, actually. . .
This meeting came about during a walk with my favorite golden retriever -- Silver -- and Joce (her owner). Joce hurt her back, so I am having fun walking Silver with Joce. We were walking along short cement winding path into a park, when a little girl came around the bend and walked toward us. We asked her if she would like to pet the dog. So, she did and we told her the dog was named Silver. She said "Silver" with a cute, slight, little lisp. I expected to see a parent come around the bend at any moment while she pet Silver, but none did. Madison walked off in the direction from which we had come, and we continued on. But I had a feeling we should get her and bring her back to the park up ahead of us, where other children were playing. Then a man called out a name -- I thought he said Jessica or something, but Joce heard it correctly. So, we turned around to retrieve Madison. She was nearly out of sight walking down a neighborhood street, but she stopped when we called.
Madison said her father was not at the park, but we managed to convince her to race Silver to the park and then convinced her to take us to her house. She really liked Silver and she was eager to show us where she lived. So we followed Madison through an alley between apartment buildings and as we emerged from the alley, two older women relaxing in the evening heat recognized Madison and told her that her dad had been looking for her. Her mom was walking down the street in the opposite direction, but came back when she was called out to.
As we met up with her mom, my heart sank in my chest. This young mom was sooooo skinny -- I would estimate she was 5'8" and maybe weighed 100 - 110 pounds. Maybe. Her legs were tiny and her skin appeared sunken around her shoulder blades. Her face was gaunt, but pretty nonetheless. Her hair was thin and wispy as hair of the undernourished often appears.
There are three types of people I have seen that resemble Madison's mom -- (1) the very, very ill, (2) the anorexic, and (3) the anorexic with drugs and/or alcohol issues. I wondered which of the three Madison't mom was coping with. We talked and she pet Silver. Everybody loves Silver. The neighborhood right there in this apartment complex appeared a little "rough around the edges" compared to the typical St. Albert streets. I wondered about Madison's everyday experiences there.
Our reading today was Psalms 1-3, and Acts 17
"I lay down and slept.
I woke up in safety,
for the Lord was watching over me."
Psalm 3:5
Tonight I pray for Madison and her mom. I pray that Madison is watched over and protected in all her everyday experiences, including her playing in the park. I pray that the Lord reaches out and grabs Madison's heart. I pray that if anyone remembers the day we brought Madison home, that is seen as the Lord watching over Madison. I pray that their family, if they don't currently attend a church, become aware of a new church going up just a tad south, and check it out! I pray that Madison's mom is okay and able to take care of Madison. Thank you Jesus.
This meeting came about during a walk with my favorite golden retriever -- Silver -- and Joce (her owner). Joce hurt her back, so I am having fun walking Silver with Joce. We were walking along short cement winding path into a park, when a little girl came around the bend and walked toward us. We asked her if she would like to pet the dog. So, she did and we told her the dog was named Silver. She said "Silver" with a cute, slight, little lisp. I expected to see a parent come around the bend at any moment while she pet Silver, but none did. Madison walked off in the direction from which we had come, and we continued on. But I had a feeling we should get her and bring her back to the park up ahead of us, where other children were playing. Then a man called out a name -- I thought he said Jessica or something, but Joce heard it correctly. So, we turned around to retrieve Madison. She was nearly out of sight walking down a neighborhood street, but she stopped when we called.
Madison said her father was not at the park, but we managed to convince her to race Silver to the park and then convinced her to take us to her house. She really liked Silver and she was eager to show us where she lived. So we followed Madison through an alley between apartment buildings and as we emerged from the alley, two older women relaxing in the evening heat recognized Madison and told her that her dad had been looking for her. Her mom was walking down the street in the opposite direction, but came back when she was called out to.
As we met up with her mom, my heart sank in my chest. This young mom was sooooo skinny -- I would estimate she was 5'8" and maybe weighed 100 - 110 pounds. Maybe. Her legs were tiny and her skin appeared sunken around her shoulder blades. Her face was gaunt, but pretty nonetheless. Her hair was thin and wispy as hair of the undernourished often appears.
There are three types of people I have seen that resemble Madison's mom -- (1) the very, very ill, (2) the anorexic, and (3) the anorexic with drugs and/or alcohol issues. I wondered which of the three Madison't mom was coping with. We talked and she pet Silver. Everybody loves Silver. The neighborhood right there in this apartment complex appeared a little "rough around the edges" compared to the typical St. Albert streets. I wondered about Madison's everyday experiences there.
Our reading today was Psalms 1-3, and Acts 17
"I lay down and slept.
I woke up in safety,
for the Lord was watching over me."
Psalm 3:5
Tonight I pray for Madison and her mom. I pray that Madison is watched over and protected in all her everyday experiences, including her playing in the park. I pray that the Lord reaches out and grabs Madison's heart. I pray that if anyone remembers the day we brought Madison home, that is seen as the Lord watching over Madison. I pray that their family, if they don't currently attend a church, become aware of a new church going up just a tad south, and check it out! I pray that Madison's mom is okay and able to take care of Madison. Thank you Jesus.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Job, In the End
"I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I tkae back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance."
Job 42:5-6 (NLT)
The book of Job, in the end, has a message for me.
Job 42:5-6 (NLT)
The book of Job, in the end, has a message for me.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Maligne
Oh, my first taste of freedom was right here! How I long to recover that sense of freedom again. Today, I was reminded of the importance of pursuing that freedom. We all need it in our lives. There are so many things that just bind us up in a wad -- I ran down this path, and let me tell you, the dropoff is far steeper than it looks here. But I had a sense of freedom that has yet to be surpassed.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Tuesday
I was going to title this little entry "Terrible Tuesday", but I thought that was just too ridiculous, self-wallowing and pathetic. I seemed to manage to convey that sentiment anyway, though, right? :)
You know, I just don't get it sometimes. Why do I do the things I do?
I don't find Christianity complicated really, at all. It is really pretty simple. You make a decision to turn your problems, your troubles, your worries, your fears, your concerns, etc., right over to Jesus -- say "I'm tired of trying to handle this stuff all on my own -- I need your help." That's it.
From there, He starts working on your problems, troubles, worries, fears, concerns, etc. He sends help in all different ways and begins to transform your life. It is not scary or threatening at all -- check out Jesus in the gospels -- He would actually have been great to be with. The transformation simply brings you closer to Him. He gives you a heart for other people -- if you are like me, you might be seeing people with a somewhat jaded eye - He helps clear your vision and see people in a true light. He gives you a heart for whatever and wherever you are. And, he lets you know how much you are loved. In many different ways.
How does He do it? His Word -- just read a bit each day and refresh your mind and heart with the principles within the Bible. You don't have to have someone interpret it for you -- it is all pretty clear and I believe pretty simple, too. If it seems complex, you might just try asking God for a bit of clarity, and it all seems to become clear as you read - remarkable really. And even then, if it still seems a bit much to understand, start writing about what you read -- it really is amazing what comes through when you write.
Like this little entry. It started out with a slant towards "Terrible Tuesday" and ended up being a refreshing reminder to me of what I need to do when I don't understand why I do the things I do. Time to turn it all over to one who cares and who will help me figure it all out.
Maybe you are not much of a writer - well, let me tell you, the spoken word often works better anyway. He loves a good talk -- seriously, He does. I didn't believe it myself until I did it.
Back to the basics.
You know, I just don't get it sometimes. Why do I do the things I do?
I don't find Christianity complicated really, at all. It is really pretty simple. You make a decision to turn your problems, your troubles, your worries, your fears, your concerns, etc., right over to Jesus -- say "I'm tired of trying to handle this stuff all on my own -- I need your help." That's it.
From there, He starts working on your problems, troubles, worries, fears, concerns, etc. He sends help in all different ways and begins to transform your life. It is not scary or threatening at all -- check out Jesus in the gospels -- He would actually have been great to be with. The transformation simply brings you closer to Him. He gives you a heart for other people -- if you are like me, you might be seeing people with a somewhat jaded eye - He helps clear your vision and see people in a true light. He gives you a heart for whatever and wherever you are. And, he lets you know how much you are loved. In many different ways.
How does He do it? His Word -- just read a bit each day and refresh your mind and heart with the principles within the Bible. You don't have to have someone interpret it for you -- it is all pretty clear and I believe pretty simple, too. If it seems complex, you might just try asking God for a bit of clarity, and it all seems to become clear as you read - remarkable really. And even then, if it still seems a bit much to understand, start writing about what you read -- it really is amazing what comes through when you write.
Like this little entry. It started out with a slant towards "Terrible Tuesday" and ended up being a refreshing reminder to me of what I need to do when I don't understand why I do the things I do. Time to turn it all over to one who cares and who will help me figure it all out.
Maybe you are not much of a writer - well, let me tell you, the spoken word often works better anyway. He loves a good talk -- seriously, He does. I didn't believe it myself until I did it.
Back to the basics.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Sunday at Central
Well, we had a great sermon at Central today -- Pastor Bob kicked off his summer series called "Honouring God". All of his points were good, but one principle stuck with me -- "Give God the best of you or something or someone else will GET the best of you."
That really spoke to me today. I am sure I am not giving God the best of me -- if so, that is pathetic. It is so very easy to let difficult circumstances or negative people just suck the best right out of you, isn't it? Or at the very least take your focus away, however briefly or for however long! And there is difficulty in discerning when it is best to "not turn the other cheek", isn't it? I don't know -- sometimes, I wonder.
Today, though, I quit wondering for a bit, and just plain out prayed that God would help me give Him my best. That is all I want to do and frankly, I'm having trouble figuring out how to do it. He has to step in -- I KNOW he answers prayer, so I will be interested to see how he works with this one.
I feel very guilty right now for a number of things that I am trying to figure out how to deal with, including letting some situations and people suck the life out of me. It HAS to happen. I can't just keep existing and not progressing. Good grief!
I remember as a kid in Vermont, doing a little fishing for rainbow trout with my dad. And I remember for some reason being prone to catching mudsuckers -- the bane of my young fishing life. That's what we called them anyways -- you know, the fish that are just bottom dwellers. I remember feeling disgusted every time I caught one of them -- it felt more like they were catching me all the time! I had a plethora of mudsuckers in my life. Wastes of time, gotta throw them back since they were inedible anyways, good for nothing -- Mudsuckers.
But today, as well, I am grateful. As I sang and as I prayed to God today, I considered my salvation as provided by Jesus. I thought of the woman who through heavy crowds managed to touch Jesus's robe and was healed. And I thought of how lucky I am that Jesus allowed me to touch just a little piece of his robe as well. Surely that is more than enough for me to keep the mudsuckers at bay and give him beautiful, fresh rainbow trout instead.
That really spoke to me today. I am sure I am not giving God the best of me -- if so, that is pathetic. It is so very easy to let difficult circumstances or negative people just suck the best right out of you, isn't it? Or at the very least take your focus away, however briefly or for however long! And there is difficulty in discerning when it is best to "not turn the other cheek", isn't it? I don't know -- sometimes, I wonder.
Today, though, I quit wondering for a bit, and just plain out prayed that God would help me give Him my best. That is all I want to do and frankly, I'm having trouble figuring out how to do it. He has to step in -- I KNOW he answers prayer, so I will be interested to see how he works with this one.
I feel very guilty right now for a number of things that I am trying to figure out how to deal with, including letting some situations and people suck the life out of me. It HAS to happen. I can't just keep existing and not progressing. Good grief!
I remember as a kid in Vermont, doing a little fishing for rainbow trout with my dad. And I remember for some reason being prone to catching mudsuckers -- the bane of my young fishing life. That's what we called them anyways -- you know, the fish that are just bottom dwellers. I remember feeling disgusted every time I caught one of them -- it felt more like they were catching me all the time! I had a plethora of mudsuckers in my life. Wastes of time, gotta throw them back since they were inedible anyways, good for nothing -- Mudsuckers.
But today, as well, I am grateful. As I sang and as I prayed to God today, I considered my salvation as provided by Jesus. I thought of the woman who through heavy crowds managed to touch Jesus's robe and was healed. And I thought of how lucky I am that Jesus allowed me to touch just a little piece of his robe as well. Surely that is more than enough for me to keep the mudsuckers at bay and give him beautiful, fresh rainbow trout instead.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Farmer's Market
Today was the first day of the St. Albert's Farmer's Market in downtown St. Albert. I got out of bed at 10:17 a.m. -- how ridiculous is that!? Not so ridiculous if you realize, I usually get to bed about 2 a.m. (got to work on that for sure, but I love quiet time for writing).
Anyway, I walked with Bob and Joce to the Farmer's Market around noon, and we spent a good couple of hours browsing among the vendor's wares and making some purchases, too. I was on a budget and did not make (in my view) too many purchases. But, my first extravagance was a Sun-dried Tomato Pesto to make for dinner for the three of us. Next, was half a bag of carrots (split with Joce). Then, a large jar of Honey Garlic Mustard (divine). I could not resist a container of olives (California style -- stuffed with an almond and some sun-dried tomatoe mixture) as an appetizer for dinner. And finally, a cucumber.
I was treated to lunch -- my first peameal bacon sandwich. I'd never heard of it before -- it was delicious. I dressed it with relish, hot peppers, and chili sauce, and quite enjoyed myself.
Then a hike (much longer) to get home, a long nap on Joce's couch, and then it was time to make the dinner. We had a great dinner, and then in honor of Canada Day, I was quizzed on Canadian facts -- I failed dismally, which is not all that surprising. We Americans know very little about our friends in the north, though they know alot about us. I certainly did not know we invaded Canada at one point in time.
Anyway, a little TV viewing of Live Aid, and it was time to call it a night. I still marvel that I walked home after 10:00 p.m. and it was daylight here. In fact, there was a beautiful sunset going on in the sky -- a sky full of purples, reds and blues and everything in between. Lovely.
A great Saturday for sure.
Job 22-24 and Acts 11 were the reading for the day. As we spent some time today watching Live Aid, watching stars, some of which have lead very "ungodly" lives in a public fashion, it is easy to understand Job's questions regarding punishment for the wicked. Job was righteous according to the bible. These are fair questions coming from Job. The danger, for me, is in thinking I can relate to Job in this way!
I thank God for his mercy and forgiveness and patience with me, because if he punished me for my wickedness, I'd have been long ago condemned and not able to write this out tonight. I am not Job.
Thank you, Lord.
Anyway, I walked with Bob and Joce to the Farmer's Market around noon, and we spent a good couple of hours browsing among the vendor's wares and making some purchases, too. I was on a budget and did not make (in my view) too many purchases. But, my first extravagance was a Sun-dried Tomato Pesto to make for dinner for the three of us. Next, was half a bag of carrots (split with Joce). Then, a large jar of Honey Garlic Mustard (divine). I could not resist a container of olives (California style -- stuffed with an almond and some sun-dried tomatoe mixture) as an appetizer for dinner. And finally, a cucumber.
I was treated to lunch -- my first peameal bacon sandwich. I'd never heard of it before -- it was delicious. I dressed it with relish, hot peppers, and chili sauce, and quite enjoyed myself.
Then a hike (much longer) to get home, a long nap on Joce's couch, and then it was time to make the dinner. We had a great dinner, and then in honor of Canada Day, I was quizzed on Canadian facts -- I failed dismally, which is not all that surprising. We Americans know very little about our friends in the north, though they know alot about us. I certainly did not know we invaded Canada at one point in time.
Anyway, a little TV viewing of Live Aid, and it was time to call it a night. I still marvel that I walked home after 10:00 p.m. and it was daylight here. In fact, there was a beautiful sunset going on in the sky -- a sky full of purples, reds and blues and everything in between. Lovely.
A great Saturday for sure.
Job 22-24 and Acts 11 were the reading for the day. As we spent some time today watching Live Aid, watching stars, some of which have lead very "ungodly" lives in a public fashion, it is easy to understand Job's questions regarding punishment for the wicked. Job was righteous according to the bible. These are fair questions coming from Job. The danger, for me, is in thinking I can relate to Job in this way!
I thank God for his mercy and forgiveness and patience with me, because if he punished me for my wickedness, I'd have been long ago condemned and not able to write this out tonight. I am not Job.
Thank you, Lord.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Canada Day
Hmmmm.....this was my first Canada Day in Canada and I spent it in a most unremarkable way. I spent the day alone and was happy to do so, at least for most of the day.
I did my reading early on. Then I did quite a bit of research on the web in terms of how to protect a church website from spambots and robots. Tricky business. The pervasiveness of garbage all over the web and the insidious ways that these robots just keep slamming you with their garbage is disturbing.
Anyway, the rest of the day was spent communing with the Lord and napping -- some people would think I wasted a day. I would argue it was perhaps one of my most productive days.
I did my reading early on. Then I did quite a bit of research on the web in terms of how to protect a church website from spambots and robots. Tricky business. The pervasiveness of garbage all over the web and the insidious ways that these robots just keep slamming you with their garbage is disturbing.
Anyway, the rest of the day was spent communing with the Lord and napping -- some people would think I wasted a day. I would argue it was perhaps one of my most productive days.
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