The Job Shadower

“ When Jesus came to Simon Peter, Peter said to him, ‘Lord, are you going to wash my feet?’
Jesus replied, ‘You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.’
‘No,’ Peter protested, ‘you will never ever wash my feet!’
Jesus replied, ‘Unless I wash you, you won’t belong to me.’ “
John 13:6-8 (New Living Translation)

The Job Shadower

I found myself in a predicament I had not faced before – a young lady, let’s call her Clarissa, asked me if she could come to work and “shadow” me on the job. She had originally asked Steve, a friend who is also the president of a bible college in Edmonton, but he was going to be out of town. She had also asked Brenda, another friend who is a manager in a care facility in Edmonton, but she was also not going to be available.

Oh no. My first reaction was truthfully, “What kind of cruel trick is somebody trying to play on this young girl?” Those other choices were much better and there are many other better choices she could make than to shadow me. We have several pastors in the church and we have congregation members in all sorts of positions who could perhaps really inspire Clarissa to go into a career where she could flourish and grow. I on the other hand, at 43 years of age, have taken several leaps backwards and am in transition. I currently am completing my degree by doing a practicum at my church, working as an IT Specialist and Special Events Coordinator and also, by default, the office secretary – something I swore a long time ago that I would never do again. I have not managed any practical aspect of my day-to-day life at all well, including my career, and don’t feel that I am a very good example for anyone who still has hope.

I really like Clarissa. She is in 9th grade and is 14 years old, but she looks like she could be 12 years old and in 6th grade. She knows this – in fact, she informed me of this early on in the day. I assured her that looking younger would appeal to her later on, but in fact she doesn’t seem bothered by it now! I would guess she is about 5’5”, well-proportioned and fit, very light brown hair with lots of blonde highlights, a slightly square face (she informed me of that, too!) that is benefited by wearing square earrings. Her eyes are a gray/blue I believe and she has a beautiful complexion with naturally adorable rosy red cheeks. I will do just about anything to make Callista smile – she has an extremely engaging and overall winsome smile.

What was I going to do? I hemmed and hawed and prayed, and prayed, and prayed, as quickly as I could when she asked me over the phone. In retrospect, I am amazed at the amount of melodrama I experience or cause myself to experience in my life, but nevertheless, I am very concerned for young people and understand the importance of good examples in their lives. And sometimes, I just feel like a big contaminant, bad luck, poisoned goods. And I think that stems mostly from a realization that I don’t want anyone to spend 43 years growing up when it can be achieved much more quickly than that.

However, as I prayed, a voice said to me, “Are you going to disappoint a young girl because you feel inadequate? Aren’t you here working for me? If so, then what is the problem? Or do you get your sense of worth from others than me?”

“Well, God, I don’t really know. I’m trying to convince myself this is not about P R I D E. I can’t help but feel that I would have been a better example a year ago or more than I am now. I have not accomplished much and seem to fall periodically into some kind of a slump. You keep helping me and blessing me in so many different ways that make it abundantly clear you are at work, but I often feel an absolute failure that you have to bail out over and over again. I am afraid of allowing myself to get stuck in a rut again and not accomplishing what you would have me do.”

“Have you thought of the possibility that this little assignment might not be about you but rather about Clarissa? I’ve used people in positions you would consider lesser than yours to do my work.”

Ah, yes. “Okay, Clarissa – I would love to have you shadow me at work.”
And so, Clarissa came one day a couple of weeks ago. She grinned right away. We chatted a bit, and then she asked a series of questions that the school wanted asked.

“What do you like most about your job?” The people – the fact that what I do affects many people.

She also helped with printing labels, labeling envelopes, and putting postage on envelopes.

“What do you like least about your job?” The repetitive stuff and the interruptive things like answering the phone and door.

When lunchtime rolled around, we walked to the local grocery store to purchase fixings for a tuna salad lunch. Believe it or not, I felt it was very important to model getting up and walking at lunch. (It would be better to actually model it by doing it on a regular basis.) Anyway, the Kaups were unloading a trailer full of beautiful spruce (I think) to decorate for our Christmas banquet, and two of the three had not brought their lunch, so we offered to make lunch for them, too. So, we got our lunch stuff: tuna, honey wheatberry bread, carrots and red pepper (healthy) and chips and Clarissa’s favorite cookies (not as healthy).

We made lunch and ate lunch and talked some more. Clarissa has several careers in mind: lawyer (she told me that she “argues” well), French teacher, art teacher, children’s pastor (she LOVES the nursery work in the church), and mother. I’m quite certain she will do well no matter what she chooses. She has a confident and well-adjusted presence, and my guess is that once she selects something, she will persist until it is achieved.

Clarissa learned how to use the shredder and was quite excited to be shredding some stuff that had built up over a period of time. It was great having someone in the office who was excited to be doing some of the more mundane activities needing to get done.

I can no longer remember the other questions that Clarissa asked – they seemed painfully pointed then, geared toward making me really evaluate my life situation, but in hindsight have perhaps lost some of their impact.

“Lord, thank you for the opportunity to spend a day with Clarissa, a beautiful, young lady with a bright future ahead of her. I pray that while she shadowed me, there was some positive impact on her life. I pray that she remains free of the cynicism and pride that you are having to work on in me, no matter what path she chooses for her career. Thank you, Lord, for inviting me to shadow you that day – I pray that in some way I did, even if it was only for a moment or two. Amen.”