Teamwork

I feel sorry for my readers sometimes! Readers, I am going through a really rough time, but I hope you bear with me as my hope actually lies in my Lord, Jesus Christ, and He does not let His people down, nor does He let them be down for very long. So, again, bear with me as I go into "reflection" mode.

I've written about the desire to be on a team -- to be "One of the Three" as it were. But what about what happens when you are not chosen to be on a team? Let me tell you, there was not a high school tennis team in my area that would not have chosen me to be on their team. Let me also tell you, that in terms of any other sport, no one would have chosen me to be on their team.

I don't think I would have picked me for any other sport than tennis. I couldn’t hit a softball past the in-field. The volleyball hurt me, so I preferred not to hit it at all. If throwing 2-handed baskets was cool, I would have been considered quite cool. I swam like a turtle. And you know what? Though it was humiliating to be bad at sports, the only time it really, really hurt not to be picked for a team was when it was one of my friends that was doing the picking. Because for some reason, I think that the friendship is worth the risk of losing.

But what would hurt even more than that, would be a friend not picking me for a tennis team. After all, I know I am a decent player -- I was #1 in my district for at least a couple of years. It would not make sense for someone not to pick me for their team. And please note the word friend. It would not surprise me if someone who didn't like me didn't pick me for their team -- we tend to pick those we like -- makes sense most times. But if a friend didn't pick me, well, that would hurt.

At one time, I worked for a consulting firm in the Washington, D.C. area. I had recently been promoted to the position of Regional Business Manager, when my boss, the Regional Manager, decided to leave the firm. I had worked for him for 8 years or so, and so this was going to be a big change for me. My boss and I talked about who were good candidates for the position, and there was one that I really plugged for. He was good with clients; was exhuberant but sort of grandfatherly, too; he had garnered some respect among the consultants; he seemed like he would accept help in terms of the business side of things; he seemed to be fairly good with the accounting side of things -- turning in reimbursement requests, etc., on time; and he and I got along great. I mean really great. He was a deacon at his church and seemed like an awesome family man.

So, he became the Regional Manager. Shortly thereafter, I noticed that I was being left out of meetings, and that instead of utilizing me as the business manager, he was going to his boss's business manager for assistance instead. Now, I had received EXCELLENT reviews during my tenure at this position, and it was well known that I knew the ins and outs of the region. Our region had three offices with probably 130 - 150 staff. I had built good relationships with staff at all levels. Though I had been promoted through the ranks, from the clerical to the administrative to the managerial role, most of the peers I worked with had no resentment of that. Honestly, I fit the role.

But things continued to go south. I had been taught over the years to not assume responsibility unless it had been specifically given to me. In other words, not to overstep my bounds. This goes against my nature -- I like to see things done right and have a high regard for excellence, so if I am associated with a task, I take it personally. This is the area I received the most coaching in, and indeed sought out the coaching and advice. Anyway, not taking responsibility and not going out on a limb can be a very dangerous thing if your boss also does not want to take responsibility or go out on a limb or is less than confident in his/her own abilities. It soon became apparent that my boss had less than optimal skils in terms of business management, and that he was looking for someone else (i.e., me) to answer to his boss regarding business issues. If I made this too complex, note that this is commonly referred to as "passing the buck" or simply not taking responsibility. What he wanted me to do was to give my answers to his region's business issues to his boss (he did not want accountability), but at the same time not recognize my work. This was starting to be bad news.

Now, I was used to seeing and sometimes experiencing this kind of behavior unfortunately. Corporate America loves phrases like "Don't let it stick." But I was not used to being treated like this by someone I trusted and in fact, recommended and helped into the position. That hurt. Things got worse. One day he told me that my former boss "had never intended you [me] to be the Regional Business Manager." This was an out and out attack. What had I done to garner this? I could not understand it at all. I won’t bore you with the details, but though the lies were exposed, it did not positively impact the effect on me and my career in that firm.

Now, the single most hurtful thing was not any particular event in the whole story. The single most hurtful thing was that someone I had considered a friend would strike me. Honestly, I couldn't have done what this guy did to my worst enemy. And even worse in my view at the time was the fact that his boss, also a deacon at his own church, did not rectify the situation. I had done alot of good work for that guy over the years, and that he would allow someone to behave like that is still amazing to me. I was laid off by these two deacons. Over the next couple of years, they lost their positions with the firm.

I have tried to remain trusting in the workplace, though it can be quite challenging. I still get hurt when a friend doesn't choose me for their team, especially when I am good at the sport. But worst of all are those who have the authority, the right and the ability to do the right thing, but choose not to. A friend is worth the risk.